Snap. Patti Wood
Чтение книги онлайн.

Читать онлайн книгу Snap - Patti Wood страница 9

Название: Snap

Автор: Patti Wood

Издательство: Ingram

Жанр: Маркетинг, PR, реклама

Серия:

isbn: 9781577319405

isbn:

СКАЧАТЬ refers to vocal features that are nonverbal yet still contribute to communication, such as pitch, volume, intonation, and tempo. All these can be used to subtly modify meaning or convey emotion.) You can detect deception by watching for a lack of synchronicity between any of these elements. When a person’s spoken words don’t agree with her accompanying nonverbal communications, we should give the nonverbals more weight.

      What Credibility Sounds Like

      Paralanguage, or vocalics, refers to all the nuances of the voice except for speech. Just as paranormal defines behavior that is outside the normal, paralanguage defines meaning given outside of words — the volume, pitch (high or low), rate of speech, and its quality. Prosodics, a subgenus of paralanguage, includes intonation, stress, vocal emphasis, and rhythm.

      Paralanguage is how words are uttered. This can include whether they are spoken unusually fast and loud, as well as unusual “um” and “ah” pauses; coughing and throat clearing; and a tense, higher-than-normal voice. Notice the vocal utterances that occur in the first moments of an interaction. You will be surprised to find that they are windows to the person, that they reveal how honest and open that person is going to be with you.3

      As in the examples of Sheen, Clinton, and Leno mentioned earlier, words (which are conscious) can be used to deceive, whereas body language (which is subconscious) is much harder to control and use in this way. For example, when interviewed, people who answer either negatively or affirmatively should have congruent head movement. It’s common for those who are lying when they say, “I did not do it!” to nod their heads up and down in a contradictory nonverbal yes as they speak. People may also shake their heads no while saying yes. For example, the wife of presidential candidate Herman Cain shook her head almost violently no while saying, “He respects women.”

      What’s Wrong with This Picture?

      In one of his first interviews after the largest oil spill in history, Tony Hayward, British Petroleum’s CEO, wore neat, pressed vacation attire. He spoke about the spill in a relaxed manner and smiled as he did. He brushed off any talk of friction between BP and the Obama administration: “The extent of the cooperation that is taking place, I think, will be seen as a textbook example of how to do an emergency response.”

      Many viewers were struck by a disconnect between the circumstances and Hayward’s words and demeanor. Stock phrases like textbook example downplay the seriousness of a situation and connote insincerity. A credible person shows nonverbal behavior that matches the circumstances. Hayward could have demonstrated credible care, concern, and understanding had he worn work clothes and work boots, allowed emotion to animate his voice, and used words emphasizing that there was nothing routine or textbook about the spill’s impact on the human and wildlife populations affected. Hayward was soon forced to resign his position, at least in part because of the snap impressions he gave viewers in his communications.

      To form our impression of a person, we compare what we think would be normal or appropriate words and nonverbals with the words and nonverbals we hear and see. Hayward’s words and nonverbals did not match what many felt should be expressed by a person leading a company responsible for a horrible crisis.

      Credibility Cues

      Nonverbal communication is the way the subconscious mind speaks. No matter how much you want to control it, your nonverbal behavior gives clues about how you are truly feeling. We can base our interpretation of these clues on a number of factors called deception cues. They help us spot liars and recognize what in our own nonverbal communication establishes credibility.

      When someone is telling the truth, she feels the truth in her emotional brain (limbic system). She responds to this feeling with nonverbal behaviors. Then the neocortex, which is responsible for words, is activated. An honest and credible person feels, shows, and then speaks in ways that match; the brain moves from feeling, to showing, to speaking. What you want “leaks out.” If you want to ensure that you give an impression of credibility, the first thing you should do is think about your underlying motivation in the situation. Whether you’re a salesperson, teacher, parent, or manager, what you really want comes out. Do you want to manipulate someone, or do you want to help? Do you want to appear trustworthy and sympathetic, or just look that way while someone is watching?

      A Person’s Stress May Be Visible in a Snap

      A stressed-out person may do one of the following:

      Freeze: Freeze in place for a moment.

      Flight: Move or position all or parts of her body to flee, or try to make her body smaller to create a smaller area for attack.

      Fight: Position her body to fight by getting bigger, placing her feet farther apart, moving her arms up, or putting her elbows out.

      Faint: The blood can flow away from the surface of the skin.

      When someone feels guilty or fears being caught in a lie, he might freeze in place like a teenager caught by his parents in the part of his story he didn’t rehearse. He might wear the famous frozen, deer-in-the-headlights look that Tiger Woods exhibited at the beginning of his apology statement. Freezing gives us time to decide what to do next. The liar might flee, so he may give nonverbal signals of leave-taking by pointing his feet toward the door, tucking his feet under a chair, or pointing his lower body away from the person or people he is with. He might place his feet far apart in what I call the “lock-and-load” position, or place his hand or hands on his hip(s). These moves make him appear bigger and more threatening, and they signal that a person is ready for a fight. Or he might suddenly lose the color in his face as the blood rushes away from the surface of the skin, leaving him looking like he might pass out at any moment.

      Lies that are planned in advance can sound credible, but there’s apt to be “nonverbal leakage.” Liars expend so much effort trying to remember the lies they made up that they give out more cues, from eyeblinks to foot pointing, called “leakage,” than do spontaneous liars.

      In order to most clearly read deceit, you need to know the person’s normal baseline behavior. This might be tough to recognize if you are reading someone you just met, but there are tools that make it easier. For example, notice whether the speaker is pausing. Some people talk fast and loud, and some people talk slowly with lots of pauses. Liars tend to go to the extremes of their normal behavior patterns with regard to expressiveness and pausing. Extroverts tend to be more expressive when lying — raising their voices, laughing, cracking jokes, changing the subject, or getting in fights. Strong emotions such as humor and laughter provide great cover behaviors to hide liars’ nervousness. Introverts, on the other hand, become more introverted. They might freeze up, slow down, get quieter, make less eye contact, or become wooden, giving their voices less vocal variation. As you might guess, this means we are more likely to recognize when introverts are lying. It is easier for extroverts to charm us into thinking СКАЧАТЬ