Snap. Patti Wood

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      You don’t typically meet someone and say,“Hi, I’m credible.” Rather, nonverbal communication — your facial expression, the quality of your attention, your expression of welcoming openness — is vital in demonstrating competence, trustworthiness, and dynamism in a first impression.

      Seven Ways to Lose Credibility

      I am often asked to determine the credibility of people in the media. For the History Channel special The Secrets of Body Language, which airs periodically, I was asked to focus on some famous — or infamous — moments in recent history. Here are some examples from that special and from other classic loss-of-credibility moments (specific cues that hint people may be lying) that I have analyzed and that show the power of nonverbal cues to change, in a snap, the impression a person gives. You can do things that make people doubt the veracity of a particular comment you are making and affect your snap only in that moment, or you might have a more lasting impact.

      The Eyes Have It

      The most noticeable nonverbal behavior affecting credibility is eye contact. Studies find that maintaining a steady gaze while communicating promotes credibility — especially the speaker’s trustworthiness and competence — and that avoiding eye contact undermines credibility.

      You may recall that former vice president Dick Cheney accidentally shot his friend Harry Wittington while on a quail shoot. In a televised interview four days after the incident, the vice president consistently looked down and to the right while making his main statement about the incident. For many observers, his credibility plummeted when he did so. It further eroded when he spent his interview time talking about his pain, calling the day one of the worst of his life, instead of recognizing it as likely one of the worst days ever for his injured friend.

      • A sports star is asked if he has used performance-enhancing steroids. He pulls his feet under the chair, and each time he replies, he gives a fluttered blink and the left side of his face lifts up in a smirk.

      • In a historical State of the Union address, the president smirks twenty times, so that the two sides of his face are mismatched. He makes tongue thrusts (brief movements of the tongue out of the mouth) more than fifty times as he talks about education and health care, and even at the end of the speech, when he says, “the United States of America.”

      • In a 2011 interview, everything Charlie Sheen said was overridden by the effect of his glazed eyes, disheveled hair and clothing, and manic gestures. And, guess what: he smirked — a lot.

      • In the White House press conference during which Bill Clinton said, “I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Monica Lewinsky,” he touched his nose approximately every four minutes. He also paused oddly, in relation to his normal speech pattern, and he gestured out of sync with his words, using a finger that was crooked, not straight.

      • When Oprah Winfrey asked Jay Leno about his feelings toward Conan O’Brien, he said, “I have no hard feelings at all.” But as he said this, Leno frowned, moved an arm across the center of his body, shielding his heart, and rubbed his ear.

      • A judge in a well-known reality competition show rolled his eyes, smirked, and told one contestant, “You were great,” while looking away. (Okay, maybe that made him an interesting judge to watch.)

      • A presidential candidate said, “I love the United States of America and all it stands for,” while shaking his head “No” several times. Later he said, “I love America” and shook his head “No” again.

      (For more examples, go to www.snapfirstimpressions.com and view the videos Ways You Can Lose Credibility in a SNAP and Are They Lying? You’ll see in a snap how people display nonverbal behaviors that affect their credibility in negative ways. And you’ll see how even seemingly small behaviors can affect a person’s credibility.)

      EXERCISE

      True North: Recognizing Credibility

      1. Think about someone you trusted straight off the bat, or after interacting for only a short time. If no one springs to mind, consider a person you have known for a long time whom you trust, or even a public figure you consider trustworthy. This is your “True-North person.” What is it about this person that makes you feel this way? How does this person behave? What does he or she say that makes you trust him or her? How do this person’s facial expressions, posture, or hands, or the rest of his or her body, transmit integrity?

      2. Imagine your True-North person in your mind’s eye. Write down details about his or her demeanor and nonverbal behavior. If you recall your first meeting with this person, describe it in as much detail as you can.

      3. Imagine yourself in the presence of your True-North person. Reach back and remember how he or she made you feel. How did you feel physically? Did this person make you feel heard, seen, and understood? How did this person initiate a conversation? How did he or she stand or sit? How could you tell that this person listened to, focused on, or was generally interested in you? Is there something about this person that you want to model? Is there something in his or her behavior that reminds you of yourself?

      Understanding why this person is your True North increases your ability to recognize this kind of person elsewhere — and to be this kind of person to others. Once you’re able to recognize a True-North person, you can calibrate within seconds whether someone or some situation “feels good” or “is not right.”

      Seek Models of True North

      Vistage International is an organization that helps leaders within companies, and owners of companies, become more successful. Once a month, small-business owners and high-level executives meet in groups with one another and with an adviser from Vistage, who chairs the meetings. Each chair interviews and selects his or her group members, facilitates the meetings, and coaches each member one-on-one. For many years, I’ve given talks to Vistage groups on credibility and deception detection, and I am fascinated by the credibility shown by Vistage chairs. They possess many behaviors that I admire and seek to emulate.

      For example, when Ben, one these chairs, called to prep me for my meeting with his group, I felt he really wanted to talk to me and wasn’t simply rushing through a to-do on his list. The use of time as part of communication, called “chronemics,” can create a powerful snap. Ben was happy to spend time talking to me, and this increased his likability. As he talked about each member of his group, the tone of his voice and his speaking rate matched what he was saying. As I discussed earlier, a match between a person’s nonverbal behavior and the words being said creates credibility and makes us feel safe and comfortable as listeners. Ben sounded sincere when he mentioned that he liked something about a member of the group; when he shared something a member could improve on, he sounded caring.

      At the meeting, I noticed that Ben spoke to everyone the same way. Each member of the group relaxed and opened up as Ben talked. With all the high-status people in the room, there could have been tension and competition, but Ben’s authentic presence put everyone at ease. After the meeting, he took the time to pull two seats over to a corner of the room and sit down with members individually. I talked to a member later who said, “This group is full of people who own companies and have to appear perfect to the world, but here we trust Ben so much. We know he sees us as strong people, and yet we feel safe enough to tell him anything — and cry like babies if we need to.”

      Credibility and Synchronicity

      When an honest and credible person speaks, her body language, facial expressions, and paralanguage СКАЧАТЬ