Earth to Hell. Kylie Chan

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СКАЧАТЬ front door, Jade behind me.

      Monica had already opened the door. The Planet Venus, the Jade Emperor’s personal emissary, was standing on the other side in full Celestial regalia. Monica stared at him, mouth open.

      I touched her shoulder. ‘It’s okay, Monica, I can handle it.’

      She snapped out of it and scurried into the kitchen.

      I’m staying in here, Simone said from her room. I’m not coming out to talk to him unless he orders me.

      I opened the door wide and gestured for Venus to enter. He nodded graciously to me and glided through, floating just above the floor.

      Jade fell to one knee before him, saluting, then moved to stand to one side as Retainer. I cursed my torn T-shirt, tatty jeans and bare feet as I saluted him.

      Venus drifted to the centre of the room and turned to face Imperial South, which gave him a view out of the windows overlooking Aberdeen. I quickly moved so that I could be seen by him. He wore a Tang-style robe of many layers of transparent white silk over an under robe of palest lilac. A similarly purple cloth crown covered the topknot on his head, and his long black hair swept down to his waist. He glowed gently with ripples of silvery light.

      He nodded to me. ‘Lady Emma. I bring greetings from the Celestial. The Jade Emperor has asked me to convey this to you.’ He held a red lacquer box out to me.

      I nodded and moved forward to accept it.

      ‘There is a note inside from the Celestial himself explaining the nature of this item he is lending to you,’ Venus said. ‘He asks that you guard it with your life and that of your Retainers. In the wrong hands, this jewel could cause a great deal of trouble for both the Celestial and the Earthly Planes.’

      ‘We will guard it with our lives,’ I said, holding the box with awe. It was about twenty centimetres a side and intricately carved with a cloud pattern, a dragon on the right and a phoenix on the left.

      Venus changed form to an ordinary slim Chinese man with long hair wearing a smart grey designer suit. He drifted down to the floor, his glow disappearing. He held out his hand. ‘Lady Emma.’

      I shook his hand. ‘Venus.’

      He nodded. ‘Good to see you again, ma’am. Lunch sometime soon? It’s been a while. Maybe in the Landmark?’ He quirked one eyebrow at me. ‘You can take the opportunity while you’re in Central to go shopping for some new clothes and some slippers for wearing around the house like a civilised person.’

      Jade snorted with laughter at the side of the room and bent double with silent hilarity, her hand over her mouth.

      Venus bowed slightly to her. ‘Princess.’ He turned back to me. ‘Don’t be a stranger, Emma. We haven’t met for lunch in ages. Can my people contact your people and arrange something?’

      ‘Sure thing, just call my secretary,’ I said.

      He bowed slightly again. ‘See you in Heaven.’ He disappeared.

      I stormed past Jade to take the box into the office, and thumped her arm as I passed her.

      She gasped with laughter. ‘He’s right, you know, ma’am.’

      I pressed my thumb against the seal to open the box. A scroll and a small rosewood jewellery box were the only things inside. I took the scroll, undid the ribbon and opened it. It was written in English, in vermillion ink, in the Jade Emperor’s distinctive flowing hand.

       Wear this while you are on the Celestial Plane and you will be unharmed. Make sure you remind me to ask you to give it back though; it’s one of my Symbols of Office. See you in a couple of days.

      I removed the tiny box and flipped it open. Inside was a gold ring set with a large oval piece of jade. I took the ring and studied it, wondered if the stone was sentient and, if so, whether I should say hello.

      The stone in my ring solved the problem for me. ‘Not sentient, just a nice piece of jade.’

      Jade came into the office and gasped. ‘The Emperor’s Imperial Ring. I’ve never seen it outside the Celestial Plane.’

      I slipped it on the ring finger of my right hand. ‘It’ll stop me from being killed when I enter the Plane,’ I told her, ‘but I have to give it back. Tell Gold to go back to Amy, we’re fine.’ Then I sighed with resignation. ‘The Jade Emperor knows.’

      ‘Of course he does; he knows all,’ Jade said. ‘Now, you only have two days to prepare. We’ll need to have something made for you right away, ma’am. Can you cancel your appointments and meet me at Mr Li’s tomorrow?’

      ‘I’m free after energy class at ten. I’ll meet you in Central?’

      Jade bowed slightly. ‘Ma’am. We will also need to spend the afternoon revising Imperial protocol, if you want this petition to succeed.’

      ‘Damn, Jade, how much do I need to know? All I do is go in, bow to his JEness, and talk to him about Leo.’

      Jade smiled slightly. ‘I think probably a great deal. We can spend the afternoon going through the protocol. If he meets with you in his rooms, you will need to know specific details.’

      ‘Basic things, like the fact that any seat that the Emperor sits on becomes his throne and no other person may sit on it,’ the stone said.

      Jade nodded. ‘I’ll need to write a list of things to remember. By your leave, ma’am, I’ll return home and begin.’

      ‘It’s after work hours, Jade. No need until tomorrow.’

      ‘It will take me several hours to gather the information, ma’am.’

      ‘Don’t work too hard, Jade.’

      She disappeared.

      I sighed. ‘I didn’t even ask her how her kids are.’

      ‘They are dragons,’ the stone said. ‘They are young, troublesome and hungry all the time.’

      ‘Sounds like all kids.’

      ‘You are quite correct. Now go do something else for a while, Emma. Enough worrying about this. You will be fine. And you will finally be able to extricate Leo from this little mess he has put himself into.’

      I rose to go into the training room. ‘Yes, Mother.’

      I was halfway through a demon-essence kata with the Murasame when the Tiger appeared next to the mirrors, leaning casually on the wall.

      ‘How the hell did you get in?’ I said without stopping.

      ‘Your goddamn seals are fading again,’ the Tiger said. ‘Get a different Master to do it, baby. Whoever is doing it right now sucks.’

      I swung the sword in a wide arc, leaving a black feathery trail behind it. ‘We have our best Master on it. He doesn’t know what’s going on either. It’s the same at the Academy.’ I stopped and lowered the sword. ‘Want to send one of your guys over to have a look?’

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