Earth to Hell. Kylie Chan

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       CHAPTER 3

      I’d just finished the last of the end-of-year leave forms when I heard a soft sound and a red box materialised on my desk. Thank you very much, Heavenly Bureaucracy: 7 pm, a hell of a day, and this lands on my desk. I hoped it wasn’t urgent.

      I pressed my thumb to the elaborate gold filigree clasp on the front of the box. Inside was a single scroll, dun-coloured vellum tied with a red ribbon. I opened it and perused the black Chinese characters. Not written in red, so not an edict from the Jade Emperor, but from the complexity of the large square seal at the bottom of the document it was from someone quite high up. I couldn’t read the flowing Chinese calligraphic characters but the Celestial nature of the scroll made their meaning apparent as I scanned them. My heart leapt when I saw Leo’s name.

       Lady Emma Donahoe, Grand Master (Acting), New Wudang Academy of Martial Arts; Probational Regent of the Northern Heavens

      Madam,

       Your application to attend to the matter of your Retainer Leo Gerald Alexander has been reviewed by the Office.

       In light of the nature of the circumstances it has been decided that this matter will be forwarded to the Secretary for Underworld Affairs for further consultation.

       Signed and chopped

       Undersecretary for Review of Promotion

      Yes. Finally we were getting somewhere. The Secretary for Underworld Affairs was the head of the Department of Hell and Yanluo Wang’s second in command. Yanluo Wang, Lord of the Underworld, answered only to the Jade Emperor when it came to the judgement of those found Worthy for Immortality. After eight years of tedious bureaucratic blockades I was close to being able to enter Hell and talk Leo into coming out.

      I grabbed the scroll, rolled it up and shoved it into my handbag. Simone would be thrilled. I was meeting her for dinner at a Thai restaurant nearby and then we were going shopping in Pacific Place. I walked to the door, then stopped when I heard a soft sound outside. I listened. Quiet voices. Damn, in this form I couldn’t use my Inner Eye to check.

      I tapped the stone, then put my hand over it to signal that it should stay silent.

      I hear them, it said in my mind. It paused. Demons, Emma, big ones.

      Not again. And right when I was about to go home. This was becoming ridiculous.

      Yep, the stone said. It’s only three weeks since the last bunch.

      I dropped my bag on the floor of my office, strode out the door, down the hall to the lift lobby, and switched on all the lights. There was a soft exclamation, then silence.

      I stormed back into the middle of the main office cubicles, stopped in front of the demons, and crossed my arms.

      They had taken the form of ordinary Chinese teenagers: two boys and a girl. I studied them carefully. The stone was right: really big ones. The girl was a shape-shifter; the two boys were humanoids.

      ‘Looking for me?’ I said.

      The demons shared a look, then the girl stepped forward. ‘Are you Emma?’

      ‘Yes I am.’

      She smiled and tilted her head. ‘We found your wallet downstairs and wanted to return it to you. But I left it back at my apartment. Can you come with us and I’ll give it back to you?’

      Wow, that was lame even by their standards.

      ‘I suggest you leave right now,’ I said, ‘before you find yourselves in serious trouble, kids. How did you get in past the seals anyway? I just had them reset three weeks ago.’

      Her eyes glazed over. ‘Seals?’

      Great, a genius leading the group.

      ‘Yes, seals. Ours are some of the best. Who helped you to get in?’

      A fleeting expression of vicious cunning crossed the face of one of the boys. Ah, the real brains.

      ‘We don’t know what you’re talking about, Emma,’ he said. ‘We just have your wallet and want to give it back to you.’

      ‘You were told by the Demon King that if you brought me to him in one piece, he’d let you back into Hell,’ I said. ‘What did you do to piss him off? You’re the fourth bunch of kids since November.’

      The girl recovered herself. ‘I’m sorry, Emma, I have no idea what you’re talking about. Don’t you want your wallet?’

      ‘It’s in my bag back in my office,’ I said. ‘And now I’m giving you fair warning. Turn, and I will take you in. Run, and you’ll probably starve to death locked out of Hell. If you wish to take the third option, I will oblige but I won’t be happy about it. You could attain humanity if you just gave it a try. I’m a generous master to all my demons, you can ask any of them.’

      When I said the word demons they stiffened slightly.

      ‘Very well,’ the smart one said. ‘You know what we are. Fine. Come with us and we won’t hurt you. Our dad just wants to talk to you, that’s all. Come along, and we promise nothing will happen to you.’

      ‘I can take all three of you down, you know,’ I said.

      The girl snorted with laughter. ‘Yeah, right. We’re all spawn of the King himself. No chance, lady. Come quietly or you’ll regret it.’

      The cunning one studied me appraisingly.

      ‘We can take her,’ the girl told him. ‘Dad said she’s just an ordinary human. We can do it.’

      I held my hand out. ‘Three against one is hardly fair. May I use a weapon?’

      The second boy shrugged. He hadn’t spoken yet, and his presence radiated apathy. The follower. ‘Whatever. We can take you, doesn’t matter what you use against us.’

      ‘Anything at all?’ I said. ‘How about this then?’

      I called the Murasame, the Destroyer, and it appeared in my hand. I held the katana in front of me and used my thumb to slide the blade five centimetres out of its scabbard in a visible threat. ‘So who’s first?’

      ‘That’s the Murasame, guys,’ the second boy said quietly. ‘Oh my God, we are in big trouble.’

      ‘Not possible,’ the girl said.

      ‘Why? Because the Murasame belongs to the Dark Lady, head of New Wudang?’ I said. ‘Check the first floor of this building with your demon vision, kids, and tell me what you see.’

      Their eyes СКАЧАТЬ