Earth to Hell. Kylie Chan

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СКАЧАТЬ or snakes. Not kittens,’ I said with grim humour. ‘Bai Hu’s the one who’ll have kittens.’

      I walked out of the lift onto the ground floor of the Academy building. The coffee shop occupying one of the shopfronts was still ablaze and the owner gave me a friendly wave from behind the counter. He was a Shen in some trouble with demons and was under the protection of New Wudang. He made a modest living out of the café, which also provided the Academy with cover. I waved back and then walked down the steps into busy Wan Chai street. The pavement was packed with pedestrians hurrying home, and Hennessy Road was bumper to bumper with buses at a standstill in the usual evening rush-hour gridlock.

      Are you far away, Emma? Simone said into my ear. I have a table already.

      As I pulled out my mobile phone to call her, it rang. I pressed the button to answer. ‘I’m on my way now, I’ll be there in about five minutes. Order me a coconut, will you?’

      ‘That’s wonderful,’ said the Demon King on the other end of the line. ‘I’m so looking forward to it. I own a strip club just around the corner from your Academy and they serve fabulous coconuts. Do you want the address? If you come I’ll tell the staff not to put poppy in the coconut, just for you.’

      I sighed with exasperation. ‘Stop sending your kids over, George. They’re making my life miserable.’

      ‘Oh, that’s too bad,’ he said without a hint of remorse. ‘If you come pay me a visit, they’ll stop, you know. I won’t hurt you, I promise. I just want to buy you a cup of coffee and have a chat.’

      ‘I’m afraid I don’t have anything to say to you, Wong Mo.’

      ‘Oh, I’m cut. My title and everything.’

      ‘Loathsome Majesty.’

      He chuckled. ‘Now you’re just rubbing it in, Dark Lady. But I’m serious — come and chat, and the kids will stop. I want to talk to you about Leo.’

      I nearly walked into a light pole. ‘Leo? Why didn’t you say so?’ I hesitated, then, ‘Can you get him out?’

      ‘He doesn’t want to go, Emma,’ he said. ‘He wants to kill himself. He doesn’t understand that’s not the way it works. Please, come down and talk to him; we’re thoroughly sick of him.’

      ‘I need permission from the Jade Emperor,’ I said. ‘I’ve been petitioning him for years, working my way up through the Celestial bureaucracy. I’ve made it as far as the Secretary for the Underworld. As soon as I have sanction, I’ll be straight down there.’

      He sounded like a little boy who’d just been granted his fondest wish. ‘You’ll really come down for Leo?’

      ‘Of course I will.’

      ‘You should have told me, Emma. I’m on good terms with Yanluo Wang, I could have speeded up the process for you. I’ll help you any way I can, and I mean it,’ he said. ‘Okay, the kids will stop. No need now.’

      Simone put the scroll down beside her plate and sat back. ‘So this means there’s only one more step before we can get permission from the Jade Emperor?’ she said excitedly.

      ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘If we’re lucky we won’t even need to bother the Jade Emperor. This Secretary guy can give us sanction to talk to Leo.’

      ‘I hope that ugly dragon kid isn’t hanging around when we talk to them. I heard he crawls to all the most senior Celestials trying to win favour.’

      ‘Geez, that won’t work up there,’ I said. ‘He should know better.’

      ‘Oh, it works for some of the Celestials that are promoted rather than Raised. I heard if you find yourself a good patron up there you can go a long way.’

      I sighed and rested my chin on my hand. ‘I hate politics.’

      She snorted with amusement. ‘You need to resign then. You’re right in the middle of it, Madam Emma.’ She waved her hand. ‘Let’s not talk about that stuff anyway. When we have Leo back, I don’t want anything to do with any Celestials. I’ve had enough of them, particularly that blue guy.’

      ‘What about Daddy?’

      ‘Daddy’s different. He’s the most normal Celestial there is.’

      ‘Normal,’ I said, pulling out my wallet to pay, ‘is not a word often used to describe your father. Very much the opposite, in fact.’

      ‘Same goes for you, Emma.’

      ‘Humph.’

      Simone held a CD in front of my face. ‘How about this one?’

      I pushed it away from my face so that I could see it. ‘Boy bands again?’

      ‘Hey, these guys are cute.’ Then Simone dropped her voice and nodded towards another stand of CDs. ‘Have a look over there. In the metal section. Oh my God, that is so sad. Chinese can’t do Goth, and when they’re as old as him …’ She inhaled sharply. ‘No.’

      I spun to see. It was him. Long hair, black clothes — of course he looked like a Goth, he’d invented it.

      He casually flipped through the disks. Simone and I stood and watched him. It was Simone who snapped out of it first.

      ‘Daddy!’

      She raced along the aisles and skidded to a halt about two metres from him. He didn’t seem to notice her.

      ‘Daddy?’

      He was completely oblivious.

      She took a hesitant step towards him and held her hand out. ‘Daddy?’ She dropped her voice. ‘Xuan Wu.’

      I strode over and stood behind Simone. He still didn’t appear to notice us. ‘John. John Chen Wu, will you look at us?’ I said.

      Simone stepped forward and touched his sleeve. Her hand went straight through. She waved her hand through his arm, up and down. He wasn’t there at all.

      ‘But he’s moving the disks,’ she said.

      ‘Look closely, Simone. The disks he’s touching aren’t moving. It’s an echo of who he was.’

      ‘Can he do that?’

      ‘I don’t think there’s much he can’t do.’

      Simone sighed and stepped back. ‘Is he really that old? I don’t remember him that old.’

      ‘That’s how he was.’

      ‘I thought he was a Goth.’ She turned away and slammed her palm on one of the racks. ‘I thought he looked stupid.’

      ‘You can tell him one day, sweetheart, he’ll have a good laugh about it.’

      Then I inhaled sharply, and she turned back. He’d selected a couple of disks and turned to purchase them. СКАЧАТЬ