Fruitful hearts. Ricardo E. Facci

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      It is the natural fruit of a mature conjugal relationship. Hence Liliana said: “Our loving intimacy grows as the time we spend with the other, the things we do together, our frequent and increased communication, and our prayer.” Intimacy is a very strong need of the male and female married couple. After a time of sharing home, table, and bed, spouses yearn for greater mutual intimacy.

      Many times, we have a fear of this intimacy, and this infringes on our unity. There is a fear of losing one’s individuality as the spouse knows his own imperfections, limitations and weaknesses. Unfortunately, they often create tricks to avoid intimacy. But when they manage to overcome this fear, they discover with joy that both are longing and need a more intimate marital relationship.

      The unity has need to express, hence the opening. Without opening, the unity is not true. You must join to open. The closed, sooner or later becomes corrupted. Marriage must be opened through its specific mission in society and in the Church. It should open its masterpiece which are the children. Seek to help all those who in one way or another knock on the door of the house. The truly united marriage is always open to life and love.

      Moreover, marriage, which wants to build unity, imperatively needs a spirituality. In our materialistic and consumeristic society, apparently the majority of men and women do not care much about spirituality. “Whether we admit it or not, our most important and basic need is our relationship with God,” said Carola and Chiche.

      We are so preoccupied and absorbed by the material things that we lose the sense of human life. Spirituality is the forgotten and lost dimension and indeed many marriages die from lack of spirituality. Without it, it is unlikely that the other needs of marriage can be fully satisfied. Without conjugal spirituality the marriage disintegrates. Therefore, “encourage together one another to grow.”

      To dialogue as a couple

      1. What needs did we discover in our marriage?

      2. How will we work to grow in “being one”?

      3. What are the clearest signs of our unity?

      4. What degree of intimacy have we achieved in our marriage?

      5. Do we cultivate our married spirituality or is it a forgotten and lost dimension?

      To pray together

      Lord Jesus,

      We feel the basic need

      Of our marriage is unity.

      So we ask you to help us grow in it,

      achieving greater communication between us,

      which enables us to be more deeply intimate.

      And yet, we want that unity of our hearts

      to appear in our attitude of openness towards others,

      especially to our children and those who

      need us the most.

      In addition, so that our unity is solid,

      and since you are in our midst,

      help us to live a rich spirituality.

      Amen.

      The Happiness We Seek

      May your fountain be blessed,

      and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth!

      (cf. Prov. 5, 18).

      There is no better wish for a married couple than their happiness. Ultimately it is what everyone craves. Our whole life is a search for happiness. There exists within us an unquenchable thirst for happiness. Now: Are there happy marriages? We live in a deeply happy society... so how do we achieve a happy marriage in the midst of this society? One of the most intolerable and miserable things in the world is an unhappy marriage. A marriage should be a blessing but, in many places, it is like a curse.

      The key: To be happy in marriage is like an art and has to be learned.

      We all, in one way or another, talk about happiness: “I am happy,” “I am not happy,” “I believe in happiness,” “I am seeking to be happy.” But: What is happiness?

      It is not easy to find an adequate definition that satisfies. If we ask a lot, or if between us we try to find the definition of happiness, we will discover that almost no match exists in the idea we have of it. But at the same time, we see they are not bad, but do not fully exhaust what we actually understand as happiness. What we are sure of is: “short-term happiness, long-term frustration.” Happiness should involve our whole life. We cannot stop at one stage as if fullness was reached since we find that time passes and circumstances vary.

      Happiness, as we build it, produces a conscious state of satisfaction as when the achievement of a goal, or a desire is experienced. One feels good about one’s self.

      We all need to achieve happiness, especially if we are humble, simple and generous. Happiness is not something that comes in itself, nor can it be acquired once for an entire lifetime. It is achieved with effort and sacrifice. Your search for happiness is an art. There are no magical recipes to be happy, but there are certain elements that must accompany the pursuit of happiness: reflection, self-awareness, acceptance and own self-esteem, self-love, respect for others, order, discipline, willpower, happiness to one's conscience and the path to God.

      There are also dangers and enemies of happiness: exaggerated self-seeking, focusing on one’s self, going after the easy successes, the immediate gratification and momentary pleasure, selfishness, pride, ambition and injustice.

      Happiness in marriage: is it possible? Many in front of the altar said “I do” but then eventually were dissolving “I do not want”, “I cannot” or “I will never love you.” However, there are many couples who are happy over the years. What is the secret?

      The secret of marital happiness begins by knowing the desires and inspirations of yourself, spouse and interpersonal relationship. When these desires and aspirations are assumed, you discover happiness is at home and not outside it. Furthermore, to say that happiness in marriage is possible, a joint effort is required.

      How to characterize a happy marriage? There is a certain mold, but we can take the common characteristics of marriages that become so:

      • Between the two there is a current of sincerity and honesty.

      • When proposing a target, they believe they can achieve it.

      • Regardless, they are determined to overcome obstacles to make their marriage work.

      • They are willing and open to sharing their whole being.

      • They face with courage and maturity, the crises, conflicts and problems.

      • They dominate their feelings, anger and jealousy.

      • They like to be together as long as possible and trust each other as true friends.

      • They accept each other as they are.

      • There exists respect and mutual trust between them.

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