The Complete Fab Confessions of Georgia Nicolson: Books 1-10. Louise Rennison

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СКАЧАТЬ rang. Probably Jas asking me something about her homework.

      I said, “Jahwohl!”

       5:22 p.m.

      The Sex God wants me to go round to his house!!! His parents are out. I am so HAPPY!!!

       5:30 p.m.

      I changed into my jeans and quickly got made up. I went for the “natural” look (lip gloss, eyeliner, mascara and blusher) with a touch of panstick on the lurker. You could only see the lurking lurker if you looked up my nostril and what fool was going to do that? Then I dashed off.

      Outside Robbie’s house

      6:00 p.m.

      I walked through the gate, breathing the atmosphere of Sex Goddiness, and knocked on the door.

      My heart was beating really loudly. The door opened.

      The Sex God.

      Himself.

      In person.

      In his gorgeous black jeans and thingy top. And his dreamy armey things and gorgey leggy whatsits and mouthy thing and so on. He is SO dreamy. Every time I see him it’s a shock. He smiled at me.

      “Georgia … how are you?”

      Excellent question. Excellent. Good. I knew the answer as well. That was the marvellous thing. I knew the answer was “Great, how are you?” Unfortunately all the blood in my brain had gone for a bit of a holiday into my cheeks. I had a very very red face and a completely empty brain. I couldn’t speak, all I could do was be very very red. I bet that was attractive.

      He just looked at me and he smiled this really beautiful smile, all curly round the teeth. Like he really liked me. Yuuummy scrum bos.

      Then he pulled me into the house and shut the door behind me. I just stood there trying not to be red. He put his arms round me and gave me a little soft kiss on the mouth, no tongues (Number Three on the snogging scale). But my mouth had gone into pucker mode so when he stopped my mouth was a bit behind and still a bit open. I hoped I didn’t look like a startled goldfish.

      He kissed me again, this time harder and longer. His mouth was all warm and wet (not wet like Mollusc Boy though). He put one of his hands on the back of my head, which was just as well as I thought my head might fall off. And then he started kissing my neck. Little sucky kisses right up to my ear. Fanbloodytastic. After a bit of that, and believe me I could have gone on doing that for years, he put his tongue ever so softly into my ear!! Really! Ear snogging!!! Fantastic.

      I think I might have lost the use of my legs then because I fell over on to the sofa.

      My bedroom

      10:00 p.m.

      I am in Love Heaven. What a beyond fab day. He is Sex God of the Universe and beyond.

      I crept downstairs and phoned Jas.

      “Jas,” I whispered.

      “Why are you whispering?”

      “Because M and D are in the front room and I don’t want them to know I am calling you.”

      “Oh.”

      “I have had the most amazing time, I—”

      “Well I haven’t; I just can’t decide whether to have my hair cut for the gig … Do you think yes or no? I mean, it’s nice to have it long but then it’s nice to have it short, but then—”

      “Jas, Jas … it is my turn to talk.”

      “How do you know?”

      “I just do.”

      “Oh.”

      “Ask me what I have just done.”

      “Why? Don’t you know?” And she started laughing.

      I forgot I was supposed to be whispering and yelled down the phone, “Jas!!!”

      Then I told her. “I went round to Robbie’s house to see him.”

      Jas said, “No!”

       “Mais oui!”

       “Sacré bleu!”

       “Aujourd’hui.”

      “Well, what happened?”

      And I said, “Well, it was beyond marvy. We talked and snogged and then he made me a sandwich and we snogged and then he played me a record and then we snogged.”

      “So it was like …”

      “Yeah … a snogging fest.”

       “Sacré bleu!”

      Jas sounded like she was thinking which isa) unusual and b) scary.

      I said, “But then this weird thing happened. He was playing me his demo CD and standing behind me with his hands on my waist.”

      “Oo-er …”

      “D’accord. Anyway, I turned round and he sort of leaped out of the way like two short leaping things.”

      “Was he dancing?”

      “No … I think he was frightened of being knocked out by my nunga-nungas …”

      Then we both laughed like loons on loon tablets (i.e. a LOT).

       My bedroom 10:20 p.m.

      Vati made me get off the phone and gave his famous “We are not made of money” speech first given in 1846.

       11:00 p.m.

      Emergency snogging scale update:

      1. holding hands

      2. arm around

      3. good-night kiss

      4. kiss lasting over three minutes without a breath

      5. open-mouth kissing

      6. tongues

      6½. ear snogging

      7. upper-body fondling – outdoors

      8. СКАЧАТЬ