Daughter Of Midnight - The Child Bride of Gandhi. Arun Gandhi

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СКАЧАТЬ everyone else — relatives, friends, wedding guests, even some curious bystanders. This time, all agreed — it was the biggest wedding celebration Porbandar had ever seen.

      Mohandas was brought to the decorated booth and seated on a low wooden stool facing east. Only after Mohandas had been seated was Kastur brought to the booth by her maternal uncle and seated on another stool, which faced to the west. Through her veil, she got only a peek at the boy who was waiting for her. Almost immediately, a white curtain was drawn between them. She was glad to see her parents, Gokaldas and Vrajkunwerba, seated next to her facing to the north.

      For many minutes, Kastur sat listening as the priest recited the marriage vows in Sanskrit. At last, her father Gokaldas rose and holding several blades of grass in his hand announced the cycle, the age, the year, the season, the position of the planets, the day, the continent, the country, the province, the town, and the place where the ceremony was being held. After these precise directions were conveyed to a listening god, Gokaldas declared that he was handing over his healthy daughter Kastur to the bridegroom Mohandas, and he relinquished all claims on her. He then took Kastur’s hand and placed it in Mohandas’ right hand with a blade of grass separating the two palms.

      But the ceremony was not over. The newlyweds were then seated next to each other while the priest said a few more verses, and then it was time to perform the final ritual, the Saptapadi, or Seven Steps. Mohan and Kastur stood up, side by side, looking very serious.

      Together, they took the first of seven steps as husband and wife, repeating with each step the verses they had memorised. Seven small heaps of rice had been arranged to mark the steps, and Kastur had been instructed to trample one heap of rice with the big toe of her right foot, with each step forward (the significance of trampling the rice-heaps is not known). Here is what they said that day, Mohandas speaking first, Kastur responding.

      Take one step, that we may have strength of will.

       In every worthy wish of yours, I shall be your helpmate.

      Take the second step, that we may be filled with vigour.

       In every worthy wish of yours, I shall be your helpmate.

      Take the third step, that we may live in ever-increasing prosperity.

       Your joys and sorrows I will share.

      Take the fourth step, that we may be ever full of joy.

       I will ever live devoted to you, speaking words of love and praying for your happiness.

      Take the fifth step, that we may serve the people.

       I will follow close behind you always, and help you to keep your vow of serving the people.

      Take the sixth step, that we may follow our religious vows in life.

       I will follow you in observing our religious vows and duties.

      Take the seventh step, that we may ever live as friends.

       It is the fruit of my good deeds that I have you as my husband.

       You are my best friend, my highest guru, and my sovereign lord.

      The words of the Saptapadi were traditional. They probably had no more special meaning to the young bride and groom than did any of the other strange and solemn words that had been spoken. But some of those vows my grandparents recited on their wedding day would take on an extraordinary significance for them in their 62 years of married life.

      “And oh! That first night. Two innocent children all unwittingly hurled themselves into the ocean of life.”

      With those words, written almost half a century later, my grandfather began the account of his wedding night that appears in his autobiography The Story of My Experiments with Truth. “We were too nervous to face each other,” he reported. “And we were certainly too shy. How was I to talk to her and what was I to say?”

      Mohandas was 13 and, by his own confession, knew very little about sex beyond a few whispered hints he had recently received from his considerate sister-in-law Nandkunwarben, the wife of his older brother Lakshimidas (there is reason to wonder, given the strict taboo in sexual matters between men and women in Indian families, just how explicit his sister-in-law could have been).

      “The coaching couldn’t carry me far,” he wrote, adding that he never knew and never inquired whether or not Kastur had been given any helpful information or instruction. “But no coaching really is necessary on such matters. We gradually began to know each other and to speak freely,” writes Grandfather.

      There will always be much that is unknown about the intimate relationship of Kasturba and Mohandas Gandhi. My grandmother left no written records and, in later life she never confided her innermost feelings or personal reminiscences to anyone. But we can, by conjecture, arrive at some understanding of what Ba’s experiences may have been.

      My grandmother belonged to a generation of Indian women who were schooled to be patient and passive. But at that moment, with the silence between them growing ever more oppressive, young Kastur must have suspected that Mohan knew even less than she did about what was supposed to happen next. She waited, wondering what she should do — if anything.

      And then, as was his habit in moments of crisis, Mohan smiled. It was a smile that in future years would delight his comrades, confound his critics and disarm his enemies. On this night, it dispelled all his bride’s uncertainties.

      A good Hindu wife follows her husband’s lead in all things. Kastur smiled at Mohan. They began to speak. Together, they embarked on the adventure of marriage.

       3

      Kastur took little notice of the weather on the cool sunny morning she set out for Rajkot with her new family. In all of her 13 years, Kastur had never been beyond the borders of Porbandar. Going to Rajkot was like going to another universe. Kastur found the idea exciting. She had always been fearless, undaunted by the usual terrors of childhood: insects, serpents, wild animals, or the dark of night. Why should she find a strange city intimidating?

      Hindu men and women usually travelled separately. Thus, the bridegrooms, Mohandas and Karsandas, rode in one carriage with their older brother Lakshimidas and their father Karamchand, still on the mend from his injuries, while the brides, Kastur and Ganga, travelled in another coach with the older sister-in-law Nandkunwarben and their new mother-in-law Putliba. It was a good opportunity for all these Gandhi women to become acquainted.

      When the carriages pulled up in front of the Gandhi home in Rajkot, the travellers found Mohan’s sister, Raliatben, waiting. There were two final Hindu marriage customs to be observed. Before the newlyweds were allowed to enter, Raliatben stopped them with the traditional request — each of her brothers had to present her with a suitable gift to gain entry. Mohandas and Karsandas complied.

      Then came the mother-in-law’s traditional greeting to new daughters-in-law, somewhat akin to the Western custom of carrying the bride across the threshold of her new house for good luck.

      Putliba put down a measure of rice at the front door and then invited the older couple, Ganga and Karsandas, to come in first, as was their due. Ganga was actually a few months younger than Kastur, but she had married the older brother СКАЧАТЬ