Daughter Of Midnight - The Child Bride of Gandhi. Arun Gandhi

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СКАЧАТЬ have been countless interpretations of child marriage as set forth in the Sutras, the ancient scriptures of the Hindus. Justification of the practice revolved around the need to preserve the virginity of young girls often threatened with rape and kidnapping by invading armies. Child marriages, it was said, protected girls living in large Indian households from the taint of becoming objects of untoward sexual advances. Even more importantly, child marriages saved young girls from becoming wayward themselves.

      My grandfather, in his untiring battle against child marriage, would one day deal with such arguments: “Why this morbid anxiety about female purity? Why should men appropriate to themselves the right to regulate female purity? Have women any say in the matter of male purity?”

      On a more practical level, child marriages were defended by some who believed that if a girl had to spend all her life in the home of her husband, it was best she learn to adjust from childhood. Whatever the origin or justification of the custom, for the Hindus living in Porbandar in the 1870s, the betrothal and marriage of girl children was an accepted and essential practice. Such a marriage was a union of families and not just of individuals.

      Sometime in the year 1876, when Kastur Kapadia and Mohandas Gandhi were both seven years old, their fathers reached a preliminary agreement for their betrothal. Karamchand Gandhi, the father of Mohan was, like his father before him, the dewan or Prime Minister to the Rana of Porbandar, the local ruler. It was natural, therefore, for Gokaldas and Vrajkunwerba Kapadia to want to unite their family with that of their neighbours, the Gandhis, about whose history, probity, and suitability there could be no doubt.

      For the Gandhis, too, the union of the two families would be timely and propitious. Little Mohan was the fourth and last child of Karamchand Gandhi and his much younger fourth wife Putliba. Karamchand was eager to get the boy settled before something happened to him. Mohan had been betrothed successively to two other little girls, both of whom had died (infant mortality was high in India). And now, to make matters more urgent, Karamchand was appointed dewan of the princely state of Rajkot, the regional headquarters for the British colonial administrative officials. Karamchand moved his family to Rajkot.

      On the day chosen by the temple astrologers as auspicious for the formal betrothal ceremony, a group of men, led by Karamchand Gandhi, called at the home of Gokaldas Kapadia. In the presence of all assembled, Karamchand made the offer which was accepted by Gokaldas. A priest brought forward a large brass plate filled with fruits, flowers, and gold ornaments, and members of the Gandhi family touched the plate to bless it. The small bride-to-be, beautifully attired for the occasion, was led forth from the women’s rooms. The plate was placed on her head, and the priest blessed her. The betrothal was arranged.

      At seven years of age, Kastur was unaware of the significance of what was taking place, but she received some splendid presents, which made her happy.

      Young Mohan was not present and did not know of the ceremony. Only much later would he be told of his betrothal, his third.

      Because the story of Kasturba Gandhi’s life has for so long been enmeshed in, or overshadowed by, the story of Mahatma Gandhi, it is difficult to establish many facts about her early years. The history and genealogy of my grandfather’s family has been thoroughly researched and documented, but no scholars have ever delved into Ba’s family background. And when I went searching for official records which might give more than a hint of who the Kapadias were and how they lived, I discovered that disastrous local floods during the 1930s and 1940s had destroyed all such documents, including those kept by the family priest. Nevertheless, a review of what happened to Kastur in this period of young life and a consideration of the setting in which those events occurred, can lead to certain assumptions.

      Perhaps more significant is the fact that the actual wedding did not take place until 1882 — six years after the betrothal. That Gokaldas and Vrajkunwerba Kapadia would allow their only daughter to remain unmarried until the age of 13 suggests they were more concerned for her welfare than for the opinion of the orthodox community of Porbandar. Most girls were married by the age of eight.

      According to family recollections, two other Kapadia daughters, whom Kastur never knew, had died several years before she was born. And it is said that her family cherished her; she grew up with all the security and self esteem that loving parental acceptance and protection can bestow. By all accounts, Kastur was an enchanting youngster: intelligent, independent (some say self-willed), fearless and unusually pretty.

      Further evidence of familial concern for Kastur’s best interests and future well-being can be found in her parents’ considered choice of young Mohan Gandhi as her bridegroom. They knew that, as dewan, his father Karamchand, and his grandfather Uttamchand before him, had proved to be just, courageous, loyal, and incorruptible. Both men, when matters of principle were involved, had risked incurring the wrath of the rulers they served, as well as the displeasure of the British colonial government officials who guided those rulers.

      Uttamchand Gandhi had once been forced to flee and take refuge in a neighbouring state for giving sanctuary in his own home to a man unjustly accused of wrongdoing by the temporary ruler of Porbandar, a tyrannical queen-mother serving as regent for her young son. After the queen died, the Gandhi family returned to Porbandar and in due course, Uttamchand’s son Karamchand became dewan. One day, when he overheard a petty British official speaking in insulting terms about his employer, the Rana of Porbandar, he demanded that the officer apologise then and there. For his effrontery, Karamchand was arrested, tied to a tree like a common criminal, and left on public display for several hours before being released. These stories of the righteousness of the Gandhis had become almost legendary. Gokaldas Kapadia was certain that young Mohan, growing up with such a heritage, would become a man of principle, a just and responsible husband.

      Then there was Mohan’s mother, Putliba Gandhi, who, as a mother-in-law, would become one of the most important people in Kastur’s life, supervising all of her everyday activities. Vrajkunwerba Kapadia knew Putliba Gandhi well as a friend and neighbour and felt certain this gentle, intensely religious woman would do no harm to her only daughter. An oft-repeated story in Porbandar was of how Putliba, warned that a deadly scorpion was crawling over her bare feet, simply scooped it up with her hand and dropped it out of the window.

* The suffix “-ba” was added after she became a mother, and her husband was universally known as Mahatma Gandhi.

       2

      It promised to be the biggest wedding in Porbandar — or at least the most festive one anybody could remember.

      Karamchand Gandhi had proposed the plan in a letter written some time in the summer of 1882, to his only surviving brother, Tulsidas, now the head of the Gandhi household in Porbandar. The time had come, Karamchand decided — the long-awaited marriages of Mohandas, 13, and Karsandas, his brother, 16, were to take place that autumn. What Karamchand had in mind, however, was a triple marriage ceremony.

      His brother Tulsidas’ 17-year-old son Motilal was the only other unwed young man in the entire Gandhi family, and Karamchand, in his letter to Tulsidas asked, “Why not have a triple wedding?”

      Some Gandhi biographers have suggested that Karamchand proposed having a triple wedding to save money. This may be so, but any savings would have been mainly for the benefit of the brides’ parents. Weddings can be ruinously expensive. By tradition most of the costs were borne by the bride’s family. But decisions as to how many wedding guests to invite, what kind of food to serve, what entertainment to provide, were not left to the discretion of the families involved. The community council of their caste or subcaste decided these matters — in this case, the Modh Vania caste committee in Porbandar — which set minimum standards СКАЧАТЬ