Legend of the Peeing briton. Павел Тюрин
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Название: Legend of the Peeing briton
Автор: Павел Тюрин
Жанр: Иностранные языки
isbn: 978-5-00071-403-4
isbn:
Act 3. Episode 5.
Rick was so drawn to the seductive figure that he wanted to resurrect the petrified Nymph-Aurora (his Barbie) and to awaken her mutual feelings. But suddenly he noticed something shiny, high in the sky that reminded him of the promise of his young days. His heart was torn between staying with his beloved or to BP – Be Prepared! Everywhere! Always! and to follow the scouts’ star. And again Rick chose his duty. He stared at the monument to Freedom and Fatherland until on top of it he saw the scouts’ symbol – the fleur de lys, that has been a symbol of scouts from the very beginning of the organization.
From afar the Freedom stars of the scouts’ symbol, the Lys, are so much like Milda’s stars!
It was the Freedom Monument, in Latvian Brīvības Piemineklis (also BP!). He recalled the treacherous forgetfulness of the leader, his first love and the shaft of the banner with a three-leafed golden tip. And somewhere nearby the streams of the fountain ran live and… as if a switch has been turned in his head and everything changed. He experienced a real flip-flop or topsy-turvy of his inner world, as the English would say. The psychologists would call it a trigger (a switch that can swiftly change the state from one condition to another under a facilitating external signal). He couldn’t resist the overwhelming feelings and he peed, just like he did back then at the foot of his monument. Who could judge him?
Hegel once said that events and persons take place twice: once as a tragedy, the second time as a farce. ‘No!’ says the Peeing Briton in a high language of choreography, ‘Georg Wilhelm Friedrich was mistaken!’
The first and the second time and always as long as art remains alive this is a bleeding cardio-vascular drama! And he that is without sin among you let him first go collect stones!
And we would like to add that it would keep happening as long as there is a shortage of the public bathrooms! Final curtain!
Ah, Arbat, My Arbat![32]
We have already announced that the ballet production of ‘BP-PB – Superstar’ is in full swing. Without a doubt it will rival such musical masterpieces as the ‘Westside Story’ by Leonard Bernstein, ‘Chicago’ by John Kander, Fred Ebb and Bob Fossy, ‘The Lady and the Hooligan’ by Dmitri Shostacovitch and Vladimir Mayakovsky as well as others. The people of the Moscow artistic circles were quicker than others and were the fist to stage a ballet called ‘The Lady and the Peeing Gentleman’ that is concerned with a love challenge of our days.
A day before the premiere they erected a ‘Peeing Briton’ monument next to the theatre on Arbat. On that same day they kicked Princess Turandot off the stairs all the way to the theatre’s props storage room. In the evenings many people
Academic Theatre Vakhtangov in Moscow on the Arbat Street, 26. After the ‘PB-BP – Superstar’ premiere on the 19 November it was decided to leave the monument on the fountain due to the many requests of the exhilarated audience. It was at once evident that the fountain suits the monument a lot better than it does the so called ‘Princess Turandot’.[33] The monument is made of colour polymer cement and is incrusted with valuable wood from Cherry Island, an island of the Loch Ness
gather at that place. Among them can be seen:
idolators and
###at-something-hinters,
######parkourers-about-face-beatniks (and simple beatniks)
#########punks,
############hippies,
###############rockers,
##################hang gliders,
#####################as well as free and indentured masons from the construction of the ‘Museum of the Peeing’ in Riga.
Of course, Richard would be glad to know that he has much in common with the Russians – they are not excessively pious towards legislation, rather they are contemptuous of those who put laws above all. We can say that the ‘Peeing Briton’ declared his official address[34] on Arbat and, certainly, now they pay particular attention to the guests from Latvia where Blockhead experienced such unbelievable relief at the foot of the Freedom Monument.
After the premiere the monument was buried in flowers. The lovers’ who have once suffered difficult love affairs, threw notes with their promises and affirmations into his hat. The young female fans of Blockhead sauntered along Arbat with their strollers and observed them condescendingly, if not to say arrogantly. It was rumoured that Richie himself visited them in their night dreams. In those dreams they reportedly had mad sex with Richie (‘like totally awesome’ in their own words) and after nine months, as a result of these night-visionary orgies, they delivered lively babies, real Wunderkinds. We don’t know yet if the mothers will demand of Blockhead to affirm his paternity, or if they will want the child support money. Obviously, there were all kinds of different reactions from the husbands of such lucky ladies to these explanations of the miraculous conception. But, in general, there were no protests about such one-night stands. Their only worry wasthat Richie would not seduce the minors in their sleep.[35]
There was even a police post established next to the ticket offices in order to supervise the hype of getting the next show’s tickets and the order around the monument when the arguments on love and art become heated. The theatre lovers debated the erotic aesthetics of the new Bolshoi productions, such as ‘Rosenthal’s Children’ and ‘Ruslan and Ludmila.’ Furthermore, they note the marked influence of the ‘BP-PB – Superstar’ imagery on these plays.
Richard was not excluded from the debate on the fate of the art especially after he had received a photograph that showed how some of the spectators wrote a dirty Russian word on the wall, next to the play’s poster. Rick was stunned by the tastelessness and ugliness of the shapes of their writing.[36] He, quite differently from them, had always received excelled marks in college précis writing. Thus he was entitled to send his own sketch of a sacral word to the theatre’s administration asking to put up his artistically impeccable depiction with the horridly written word.[37]
In the Russian dictionary he did not find such combination of letters[38] but since this word was at the art temple he decided that it must be a theatrical abbreviation. With the help of a Russian-English dictionary he deduced that this abbreviation stands for the ‘Temple of Clever Yorik’ [39] (he has always loved this Shakespearian jester – a friend of Hamlet’s).
The light touch, the natural grace, the artistic expression of the hieroglyph depicting the magic word symbolises the crossroads of a life journey. This is Rick’s lesson to the novice street artists in calligraphy
For objectivity’s СКАЧАТЬ
The pose was reminiscent of the Vera Mukhina’s (a born and raised Rigan) sculpture ‘Worker and the Kolkhoz Woman’ created for the Soviet pavilion for the Parisian International Exhibition in 1937.
A weekly journal ‘
When Richard Blockhead was shown a photo of a gilded doll on the Arbat fountain, so that he could determine the extent of her fountaniety, he exclaimed: ‘What kind of fountain can she possibly be?!’ ‘Не верю!’ – ‘I do not believe!’ he uttered clearly in Russian without excessive ceremonies, according to the Stanislavski method. Stanislavski (1863–1938) is a famous Russian actor and theatre director, a founder of the ‘method acting’ – a pervasive method based on the verisimilitude of acting. He was known for criticizing the actors’ performance by saying: ‘I don’t believe you!’
To declare one’s official address is conveyed by the Russian word ‘прописываться’. This word can also be a derivative from the verb ‘to pee’ (писать). So the author alludes to his character abundantly peeing on the Arbat Street, which sounds like his declaration of address.
The best psychologists and somnologists struggle with the task of stopping such form of paedophilia. And the juvenile fakers deserve a special concern.
The Russian word ‘написание’ can be translated as ‘writing’ or as ‘peeing’. This pun is also reflected in the Russian word ‘чистописание’, which stands for accurate writing but may also sound as ‘accurate peeing.’
Obviously, some amateurs did that job.
Dick could not have known then that his name, Dick – an affectionate derivative of his name in English coincided with the derogatory meaning hidden in his calligraphic art.
The picture shows concealed Russian letters Х, У and Й, which is a popular pejorative word for penis in the Russian language discourse. According to the author’s interpretation this may also coincide with