The Letters, Volume 3. Cicero

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СКАЧАТЬ delivered me a letter from you in the evening of the 8th of March. Now on the morning of the same day I had already despatched the letter-carriers, to whom I had given a letter for you. However, after reading your letter I thought I must write something in answer, more especially as you shew that you are anxious as to what explanation I intend to offer Caesar of my journey at the time that I left Italy. I have no need of any new explanation. For I have repeatedly written to him, and have charged various people to tell him, that I was unable, much as I wished it, to stand out against people's talk; and much more to the same effect. For there is nothing I should less like than that be should think that in a matter of such importance I did not act on my independent judgment. ¹⁷ I afterwards received a letter from Cornelius Balbus the younger, saying that Caesar regarded my brother Quintus as having "sounded the signal" for my retreat—for that was his expression. I was not at the time aware of what Quintus had written about me to many; but he had spoken and acted to my face with great bitterness, in spite of which I yet wrote to Ceasar in these words: “I am no less anxious for my brother Quintus than for myself: but I do not venture in such a position as mine to recommend him to you. Yet this at least I will venture to ask of you—thus much I can do—I beg you not to think that he did anything to diminish the constancy of my service, or lessen my affection to you. Believe rather that he always advised our union; and was the companion, not the leader, of my journey. Wherefore in other matters pray give him all the credit that your own kindness and your mutual friendship demand. I earnestly and repeatedly entreat you not to let me stand in his light with you.”

      Wherefore if I ever do meet Caesar—though I have no doubt of his being lenient to Quintus, and that he has already made his intention clear—I after all shall be consistent with myself. But, as far as I can see, my anxiety must be much more in regard to Africa, which, in fact, you say is growing daily stronger, though rather in a way to make one hope for conditions of peace than victory. Would to heaven it were so! But my view of the facts is far different, and I think that you yourself agree with me, but write in a different sense, not to deceive but to encourage me, especially now that Spain ¹⁸ is also joined to Africa. You advise me to write to Antony and the rest. If you think anything of the sort necessary, please do as you have often done : ¹⁹ for nothing occurs to me as needing to be written. You have been told that I am in better spirits—what can you think when you see added to my other causes of uneasiness these fine doings of my son-in-law. ²⁰ However, don't cease doing what you can in that direction-namely,, writing to me, even if you have nothing to write about. For a letter from you always conveys something to me. I have accepted the inheritance of Galeo. I presume the form of acceptance was simple, as none has been sent me. ²¹

      CDXXVI (A XI, 13)

      TO ATTICUS (AT ROME)

      BRUNDISIUM (APRIL)

      I have not received anything by way of a letter as yet from Muraena's freedman. Publius Siser delivered the one which I am now answering. You mention a letter from the elder Servius; also you say that certain persons announce the arrival of Quintus in Syria—neither is true. You want to know how the several persons who have arrived here are or have been disposed towards me: I have not found any of them ill-disposed; but I know, of course, that you are alive to the importance of this fact to me. For myself, while the whole position is intolerably painful, nothing is more so than the fact that what I have always wished not to happen now appears the only thing for my security. ²² They say that the elder Publius Lentulus is at Rhodes, the younger at Alexandria, and it is certain that Gaius Cassius has left Rhodes for Alexandria. ²³ Quintus writes to me to apologize in language much more irritating than when he was accusing me most violently. For he says that he understands from your letter that you disapprove of his having written to many persons with severity about me, and that therefore he is sorry for having hurt your feelings, but that he had done so on good grounds. Then he sets down—but in most indecent terms —the reasons for his having so acted. But neither at the present juncture, nor before, would he have betrayed his hatred for me, had he not seen that I was a ruined man. And oh that I had come nearer to you, even if I had made the journeys by night, as you suggested! As it is, I cannot conceive either where or when I am likely to see you.

      As to my co-heirs to the property of Fufidius, there was no occasion for you to write to me: for their demand is in itself equitable, and whatever arrangement you had made I should have regarded as right and proper. As to the repurchase of the property at Frusino, you have for some time past been acquainted with my wishes. Although my affairs were then in a better position, and I was not expecting such a desperate situation, I am nevertheless in the same mind. Please see how it may be brought about. And I beg you to consider, to the best of your ability, whence I may raise the necessary funds. Such means as I had I transferred to Pompey at a time when it seemed a prudent thing to do. ²⁴ At that time, therefore, I took up money from your steward as well as borrowing from other sources; the time when Quintus writes to complain that I never gave him a farthing—I who was never asked for it by him, or had myself set eyes on the money. But pray see what can be scraped together, and what advice you would give on all points. You know the ins and outs of it. Grief prevents my writing more. If there is anything you think ought to be written to anybody in my name, pray do as usual: and whenever you find anybody to whom you can intrust a letter for me, I beg you not to omit doing so. Good-bye.

      CDXXVII (A XI, 14)

      TO ATTICUS (AT ROME)

      BRUNDISIUM (APRIL)

      The candour of your letter does not offend me, because you do not endeavour even tentatively to console me, as was your wont, under the weight of public and personal misfortunes, but acknowledge that that is now impossible. For things are not even as they were before, when, if nothing else, I thought that I had comrades and partners in my policy. For now all the petitioners in Achaia and in Asia also, who have received no pardon, and even those who have, are said to be about to sail into Africa. ²⁵ So I have no one now except Laelius ²⁶ to share my error: and even he is in a better position than I am in that he has been received back. ²⁷ But about myself I have no doubt Caesar has written to Balbus and to Oppius, by whom, if they had had anything pleasant to report, I should have been informed, and they would have spoken to you. Pray have some talk with them on this point, and write me word of their answer not that any security granted by Caesar is likely to have any certainty, still one will be able to consider things and make some provision for the future. Though I shun the sight of all, especially with such a son-in-law as mine, ²⁸ yet in such a state of misery I can't think of anything else to wish.

      Quintus is going on in the old way, ²⁹ as both Pansa and Hirtius have written to tell me—and he is also said to be making for Africa with the rest.

      I will write to Minucius at Tarentum and send him your letter: I will write and tell you if I come to any settlement. I should have been surprised at your being able to find thirty sestertia, had there not been a good surplus from the sale of the Fufidian estates. But my eager desire now is for yourself, to see whom, if it is in any way possible (and circumstances make it desirable), I am very anxious. The last act is being played: what its nature is it is easy to estimate at Rome, more difficult here. ³⁰

      CDXXVIII (A XI, 15)

      TO ATTICUS (AT ROME)

      BRUNDISIUM, 14 MAY

      As you give me good and sufficient reasons why I cannot see you at this time, I beg you to tell me what I ought to do. For it seems to me that, though Caesar is holding Alexandria, he is ashamed even to send a despatch on the operations there. Whereas these men in Africa seem to be on the point of coming over here: so, too, the Achaean refugees ³¹ seem to intend returning from Asia to join them, or to stay in some neutral place. What therefore СКАЧАТЬ