Natboff! One Million Years of Stupidity. Andy Stanton

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      O NO, thinnk Natboff. CHUNKA NOT

      JUS FAT AN HARY. CHUNKA A CLEVA

      FELLO INTO THE BARGEN.

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      Chunka go to Natboff cav an grab up

       Sally.

      ‘HEY SALLY,’ say Chunka. ‘ME

       CHUNKA. ME MUCH BETER AN FATTER

       AN HARIER THAN NATBOFF. YOU COM

       WIV CHUNKA NOW.’

      ‘IT TRUE,’ say Sally. ‘CHUNKA SO

       BIG AN FAT AN HARY! SALLY NO

       LOV NATBOFF NO MORE! SALLY LOV

       CHUNKA NOW! SALLY AN CHUNKA IN

       LOV!’

      ‘HA HA,’ say Chunka. ‘CHUNKA

       DONE IT AGEN!’

      Chunka throw roks at Natboff an Sally

       spit in Natboff har. Then Chunka an Sally run

       way way off into foress to do baby cavmas.

      Natboff ver sad. Natboff do cry.

      Wolf com along an lick up Natboff tears

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      fro eyes.

      ‘WOLF BE NATBOFF FREND?’ say

       Natboff.

      Wolf nod.

      ‘WOLF BE NATBOFF WIFE?’ say

       Natboff hopfuly.

      Wolf laff an shak hed.

      ‘BUT WOLF BE NICE TO NATBOFF AT

       LEEST?’ say Natboff.

      Wolf nod.

      ‘MEBBE THINNGS NOT SO BAD

       AFTEH AL,’ say Natboff.

      But at night Wolf eat Natboff!

      Now Natboff in Wolf tummy.

      ‘THIS WORST DAY OF NATBOFF

       LIFF,’ say Natboff. ‘WAT NATBOFF DO

       NOW?’

      Natboff com up wiv plan.

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      NATBOFF WAIT TIL WOLF NEED

       TOILET IN BUSH, thinnk Natboff. THEN

       NATBOFF COM OUT OF WOLF AGEN!

       BETER THAN EVEH!

      So Natboff wait al day wile Wolf run

       round eatig stuf. Lateh on Wolf get belly

       rumbles.

      ‘O NO,’ say Wolf. ‘WOLF NEED FIND

       BUSH BEFOR TO LATE.’

      HERE ME CHANSE, thinnk Natboff.

      Wolf go to bush an push it al out. Out

       com Natboff, beter than eveh! (But a bit

       smel.)

      ‘NEVEH MIN,’ say Natboff to himsel.

       ‘STIL GUD TO BE OUT OF WOLF AGEN.’

      Natboff go up to Wolf.

      ‘NAUGTY WOLF!’ shou Natboff. ‘YOU

       SAY YOU NATBOFF FREND! BUT YOU

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      EAT NATBOFF!’

      ‘SORY,’ say Wolf. ‘ME FORGET.’

      ‘OK,’ say Natboff. ‘BUT YOU NATBOFF

      FREND NOW?’

      ‘DEFINETT,’ say Wolf. ‘WOLF AN

      NATBOFF FREND. WOLF AN NATBOFF

      DO DISCO TO SELEBRAT.’

      So Wolf an Natboff do disco in cav. It fun,

      but it stil not solv probbem.

      ‘IT FUN, BUT IT STIL NOT SOLV

      PROBBEM,’ say Natboff. ‘SALLY STIL WIV

      CHUNKA. WAT NATBOFF DO NOW?’

      ‘GO ON INTERNET,’ say Wolf, ‘MEBBE

      THAT HELP.’

      So Natboff go on internet but it cavma

      days, long long go, an bak then internet jus big

      rok wiv ‘Google’ carve on. No help at al!

      ‘INTERNET RUBISH!’ say Natboff.

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      ‘NATBOFF HATE INTERNET!’

      Wolf eat internet.

      ‘NOW WAT NATBOFF DO?’ say

       Natboff.

      ‘WOLF GET HELP FROM FRENDS,’ say

       Wolf.

      ‘WOLF GOT MITY FRENDS?’ say

       Natboff.

      ‘MITIEST EVEH!’ say Wolf prowdly.

      ‘WOLF GO AN GET MITY FRENDS. THEN

       CHUNKA GOT NO CHANSE!’

      Wolf run out of cav.

       Natboff wait.

       Natboff wait a bit mor.

       Natboff wait ages.

       Natboff wait Stone Ages.

       Natboff discoveh fire.

       Natboff happy!

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      Natboff set har on fire!

      Natboff not so happy.

      ‘WOLF TAKIG FOREVEH,’ say Natboff.

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