Natboff! One Million Years of Stupidity. Andy Stanton

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      79

      wings and he was about the size of a crow.

      ‘Hello,’ said the traveller to the guards. ‘ Do you mind if I come in through your gate?’

      ‘No, go ahead, we don’t care,’ said the

      guards. ‘Go right in.’

      But as the traveller

      stepped forward, the

      first guard thought

      of something.

      ‘Hang on a minute,’ he said.

      ‘You’re not a

      crow, are you?’

      ‘Who, me?’

      laughed the traveller. ‘No, of course not.’

      ‘OK, sorry to bother you,’ said the first

      guard. But just as the traveller was about to step

      inside, the second guard thought of something.

      ‘Hang on,’ he said, brandishing his sword.

      ‘You are a crow. Go away! It’s no crows allowed,

      those are our orders!’

      ‘Blast those guards,’ sulked the crow as he

      walked off. ‘They’re cleverer than they look. How

      am I going to get into Lamonic Bibber now?’

      Well, that crow thought for a year and a

      day, and it was the most boring year and a day

      he’d ever spent. But eventually he came up with

      an absolutely brilliant idea, and when he came

      up with it a light bulb appeared

      above his head, and that’s

      how electricity was invented.

      ‘I’ve got it!’ said the crow.

      About five years later, Old King Thunderbelly was sitting in the castle courtyards, having a sandwich and congratulating himself on outwitting the crow.

      ‘That was totally easy,’ he said to himself. ‘That wall did the trick no problem. It’s been years and years now and I still haven’t seen that crow around here.’

      ‘Oh, haven’t you?’ said a voice at that very moment. And looking down, Old King Thunderbelly was astonished to see none other than the crow himself, the very crow he’d been trying to keep out all this time!

      ‘How did you get in here?’ said Old King

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      Thunderbelly. ‘Surely my wall should have

      kept you out?’

      ‘Well might you think so, king,’ said the

      crow. ‘But there’s one thing you forgot about

      us crows,’ he continued, flapping his powerful

      wings triumphantly. ‘We are excellent at

      digging. I have spent the past five years digging

      a tunnel under that wall with my beak and

      finally I have won the challenge and you must

      give me all the land of the kingdom and let me

      marry your daughter and you must be my slave

      forever and fetch me rare minerals.’

      ‘I don’t remember saying anything about

      that,’ said Old King Thunderbelly. ‘But OK.’

      And that is how the elephant got its trunk.

      THE END

      9 700 AD 9

      Life and

      ||

      Times Of

      ||

      Saint

      Follican

      |

      (As written by Bene The Elder,

       a stinking old monk of the

       Order Of The Prawn)

      84

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