Love without a Compass. Lindy Zart

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СКАЧАТЬ I have to do is look at her.

      Avery’s shoulders slump.

      Even though neither of us say the words out loud, she knows it as well as I do.

      We are so fricking lost.

      And I don’t mean a little lost. I mean, we have not a single clue as to where we are, where we started, or where we need to go. I can feel us getting sucked into the wilderness; it’s an unseen hand that guides us into nowhere. Clearly, the employees of Extreme Retreat overestimated our ability to stay on course, because we have nothing in the backpack to alert anyone as to our location.

      Avery studies the land. “We have to run into someone else eventually, right? We can’t be the only ones out here.”

      I don’t even bother answering that. I’m a city guy from Illinois who’s never set foot on anything remotely resembling a mountain. And Avery? Avery doesn’t like to be outside. We’re doomed.

      Avery’s quiet for a moment. “Is the national forest really that big?”

      “Bigger than you realize,” I answer honestly.

      She quickly looks away, but not before I see the resignation in her eyes. Something about seeing Avery beaten down makes me uncomfortable, which is exactly the opposite of how I thought it would make me feel.

      “I want to keep moving,” Avery announces. “I can’t stand not moving.”

      “I read that if you ever get lost you should stay in one spot.”

      Avery shakes her head. “I want to walk, Ben. I’ll go without you if I have to.”

      “That’s not smart.”

      She stares woodenly back.

      I sigh and run a hand through my hair.

      Avery doesn’t move.

      Maybe I’m as gullible as everyone else, I think as I contemplate giving in to her in order to not see Avery sad. I shake my head. No way that’s it. But then I vow something I have no right doing. “We can walk for a while. We’ll find the lodge, don’t worry.”

      A faint shine returns to her eyes, some straightness to her spine, and I realize something. I am as susceptible to her charm as everyone else. I inwardly shake my head at myself. I’m a fool, plain and simple. The glimpses of a softer Avery Scottam are lies. They don’t really exist. I have to remember that. Still, if any part of her is genuine, I hope it’s the part she’s showing me now.

      I let out a noisy breath of air and lift an eyebrow at my teammate. “Ready for some more walking?”

      Avery nods, and we continue on our path to an undesignated destination.

      6

      AVERY

      The words that instantly come to mind are “Oh” and “God” when the sky splits open without warning. Rain pummels the earth, and us along with it. It only takes seconds to be completely sopping wet. Standing close to the ledge of a hill that feels more like a mountain, I look at Ben, who is equally drowned. I guess, at least, we’re a little cleaner than we were moments ago. And the rain isn’t cold, so that’s another plus. Ben’s clothes are vacuum-sealed to his body, emphasizing ridges and valleys I’d rather explore than anything presently around us.

      “This is nice, right? Very relaxing,” I say conversationally. It’s amazing how clearly I can see his glower around the sheet of rain hindering my eyesight.

      Ben skims a hand over his wet hair, a chunk of it rebelling and falling over his forehead. “This is ridiculous.”

      “But in a nice way,” I remind him.

      I’m sure I imagine the judgmental look on Ben’s face, the expression stating that I am insane. The rain, you know…so distorting.

      “No. Not in a nice way,” he retorts, swiping an arm across his face. “As in, this is the last thing we need right now.”

      I watch Ben become taller and wonder how I’m shrinking. Then I realize I’m not shrinking, but sinking into the ground. I look down, amazed to find my shoes lodged in mud. How did that happen without my knowledge? The gap grows between Ben and me, and I catch his frown as I begin to slip down the slope. I look up just as the ground crumbles beneath me. I reach for something to hang on to, but there isn’t anything. Unable to keep my balance, I fall.

      A hand lassoes my wrist, stalling my ride. “Is that you, Ben?”

      “No, it’s the Jolly Green Giant. Yes, it’s me.”

      “Don’t be such a stick in the mud.” I look at the rain as it splatters my face, laughing at the terrible joke.

      “No one told me you were hilarious.” His grip tightens on my arm when I start to move again.

      “Well, I am. Now you know.”

      “Are you going to help me at all?” Ben demands, sounding slightly breathless.

      “I don’t know, this is kind of fun.”

      “For you maybe.”

      His attitude rubs me the wrong way and I attempt to fling off his hold, but he only reaches higher, his hand almost erotic in its touch as it skims the side of my breast and wraps around my elbow. Ben tugs me toward him until I’m looking into stormy features. He hovers over me, locking me in place with his lower body strategically placed crosswise over mine. We slide down the muddy slope an inch before settling once more in the mush.

      “What?” I snap when Ben continues to study me, feeling overwhelmed and out of my element with our current positions.

      Ben glares at me, his expression fiercer than any words that might leave his mouth. “You can’t slide down the hill.”

      “Why not? What else do we have to do?”

      “I don’t know, maybe try to find a way out of here?” he returns.

      When it comes to nature and everything it beholds, I’m pretty much a disaster. My mom tried to teach me that I can’t live life afraid of the things around me, but my fears overrode her efforts. It didn’t help that whenever I went outside, some kind of catastrophe followed. Part of the reason I agreed to this torturous outdoor adventure was to overcome my childhood phobias that followed me into adulthood—the other part was because I wanted to keep my job. I’ve since discovered jobs are overrated.

      “What do you think we’ve been doing this whole time?” I ask tartly.

      I find his words puzzling, along with the tingling sensation flooding my body. I buck my hips to dislodge him and only better fit our bodies together. We scoot down another inch or so. Ben’s nostrils flare and he sucks in a sharp breath. Oh. I can feel him. And he feels glorious. I involuntarily part my lips as I look at him. Ben curses, shooting upright and away, and I shudder, wanting him back, wanting lots of other things I can’t have.

      “It isn’t like I planned on falling.” I sit up, pretending I am not a horny hussy where СКАЧАТЬ