The Rules of the Game. Neil Strauss

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СКАЧАТЬ many oceans? Okay, five. So here’s the question: What are the five oceans? My friend and I have been stuck on this all day. We can come up with only four.”

      As ridiculous as it sounds, it started a conversation every time.

      Although today’s briefing mentions different types of openers, for this task, focus on indirect openers that don’t convey sexual or romantic interest. Make sure your attitude about whatever you ask is positive and that you avoid discussing anything that might reflect badly on you, such as creepy topics like serial killers or insecure questions about yourself.

       MISSION 3: Test Your Opener

      Get groomed, get dressed, and get excited. Your mission today is to approach three different women—or groups that include women—and deliver either an opener you’ve invented or one you read in today’s material. You may approach in the street, at a café or bar, in the mall, in an office waiting room, or wherever you choose.

      It isn’t necessary to continue the conversation afterward, but feel free to do so if it’s going well. When the discussion comes to a natural close, exit with a simple line: “Thanks. Nice meeting you,” for example.

      It is not necessary to have three successful interactions; just three approaches. Tomorrow we’ll add a few extra pieces that will greatly increase the success and effectiveness of your openers.

       MISSION 4: Evaluate Your Approaches

      In the space below, make a list of the approaches you did today.

      If any went well, write down the reasons you believe they worked. If any went poorly, make a note of why you believe they weren’t successful.

Approach #1:

Approach #2:

Approach #3:

      Now review your list. Do any of your reasons blame someone else for a negative outcome (“She was walking too fast,” “She was stuck up,” “She wasn’t my type,” “The guy she was with was an asshole”)? If so, cross them out and replace them with an error you may have made. Then write down a suggestion for what you could have done differently to make the approach more successful.

       DAY 7 BRIEFING

       A FIELD GUIDE TO OPENERS

      “What’s your name?” “What do you do for work?” “Seen any good movies lately?”

      Boring!

      Listen to any man in conversation with a woman he’s met, and chances are she’ll be subjected to a nonstop barrage of questions that include one or all of the above. And because she’s answering them, the guy will think he’s getting somewhere.

      Here’s a question for you: How many times do you think she’s answered those same questions before?

      Answer: countless times.

      Usually, the scenario ends like this: Slowly she starts looking around the bar, losing interest. The guy makes a desperate move and asks for her phone number. She politely says she has a boyfriend, even though she doesn’t. Game over.

      Why does this happen?

      The comedian Chris Rock knows why. He has a routine in which he explains that anything a man says to a woman translates as “How about some dick?”

      If you barrage a woman with generic questions, what she hears is “How about some dick?” Offer to buy her a drink, she hears “How about some dick?” Introduce yourself to her, comment on her necklace, ask for the time: “How about some dick?”

      Your goal as a Challenger is to start a conversation with a woman without saying “How about some dick?”

      This is accomplished through what are known as indirect openers. An indirect opener is a way to start a conversation with a stranger or a group of people you don’t know without hitting on anyone or showing any romantic interest. If you do this well enough, soon she’ll be asking you those generic questions.

      The following guide includes the basics of using and developing these openers. Tomorrow, you’ll learn two additional techniques to make them nearly failsafe.

      Types of Openers

      A successful opener serves four basic objectives:

       ^{It’s nonthreatening and makes no one uncomfortable.}

       ^{It stirs up curiosity and captures the person’s or group’s imagination.}

       ^{It’s a springboard for follow-up conversation.}

       ^{It serves as a vehicle for you to display your personality.}

      There are many different types and classes of openers. These include:

       Direct openers, in which the man shows his romantic or sexual interest right away;

       Situational openers, in which the man comments on something in the environment;

       Indirect openers, in which the man initiates a spontaneous, entertaining conversation that is not about the woman or the environment.

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