The Rules of the Game. Neil Strauss

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       MISSION 1: Here Comes the Groom

      Today is grooming day, and the focus is your appearance.

      When men discuss attraction skills, they often act as if looks are the only variable out of their control, perhaps because they feel that appearance is genetic. Not true.

      Just as any girl can slim down, get breast implants, and dye her hair blonde to turn heads, any guy can become good looking. In the same way you can learn openers, routines, and confidence, you can learn looks. No matter how you’re perceived right now, if you’re willing to make a few changes, you can be considered good looking.

      I’ve taken worst-case scenarios—fat, balding, acne-plagued guys in Coke bottle glasses—and through the miracles of tanning, contacts, head shaving, dermatology, health clubs, and menswear, turned them into cool, good-looking men who exude confidence and power.

      Now it’s your turn.

      Your assignment is to read the grooming checklist in your Day 5 Briefing. Then perform at least one task on the checklist. Not all the suggestions will apply to you, so choose one from the area in which you’re most deficient.

      If you have a trustworthy female friend, ask her: “If you had to pick one thing to change about the way I groom myself, what would it be?” Let her know you’d sincerely appreciate an honest, constructive answer—and make sure you don’t take it personally when she gives you one.

       MISSION 2: Make a Change

      The first step to better looks is better grooming. The second is committing to the right style.

      Ideally, you want your style and clothing to convey that you belong to one of three segments of society: the same niche, group, or tribe that the woman you’re interested in belongs to; a tribe she wants to belong to; or a tribe she wants to visit. For example, men in dirty oversized undershirts and ill-fitting khaki shorts belong to few women’s tribes, while pierced, tattooed rock stars belong to a tribe that most women at least want to visit.

      Thus, your mission today is to get a free style consultation.

      Do this by examining the results of yesterday’s field exercise and selecting the clothing store that received the highest recommendation. If possible, avoid large chains. Choose a small independent store instead.

      Go to the clothing store—preferably when it’s least likely to be crowded—and speak to the saleswoman who seems the most helpful. Tell her you want to change your style, and ask her to put together a complete outfit for you. If she wants you to be more specific, tell her you’re going to a high-profile fashion show, art opening, movie premiere, trendy club, or whatever imaginary event best suits the new you.

      Change into the new outfit and observe yourself in the mirror. Though the style of the clothing matters, a perfect fit is more important.

      If you truly detest the clothing, tell her why and ask her to put together another outfit. If the saleswoman isn’t helpful or pushes you too hard to buy, go to another store.

      If you like the outfit and can afford it, buy it. When you get home, make sure you take care of it by hanging it in a closet and dry-cleaning it when it’s dirty.

      If the clothes are beyond your means, remember the brands, sizes, and styles, so you can either buy them in the future, find equivalent items at a used-clothing store, or order them cheaper online.

      If you choose to buy the outfit, ask the saleswoman where you can find a nice pair of shoes. At the shoe store, show an employee the outfit and ask for sharp shoes that match it.

       MISSION 3: Brush Up

      Choose one of the following to experience again: the mind-shaping audio, vocal exercises, or posture wall stance and video. Try to review at least one of these fundamentals every day during the Challenge.

       MISSION 4: Lay Out Your School Clothes

      If you bought any new clothing or accessories today, be prepared to wear them tomorrow.

       DAY 5 BRIEFING

       GROOMING CHECKLIST

      Choose at least one of the items on this list and make the suggested change. Not all of these tips will apply to everyone. Some are overly remedial; others are extremely meticulous. A few of the tips you’ll be able to implement in just a few minutes at no cost; others may take time or money. Avoid the tasks you’re most comfortable with. It’s the changes you’re uncomfortable with that will lead to the most improvement.

       Change your hairstyle. Look through music and men’s fashion magazines, find the haircut you’d most like to have, and make an appointment at the best beauty salon in town. Bring the photo with you. Make sure you ask your hairstylist to recommend any hair product necessary to maintain your new look.

       Ditch the glasses. Get contacts or laser surgery. If your glasses complement your style, consider getting cool designer frames.

       Get tan. The quickest and easiest way to do this is to get a spray-tan at a tanning salon. Make sure they use a relatively realistic-looking brand, like Mystic Tan.

       Get a manicure and pedicure. Go to any nail salon. It isn’t necessary to get a colored polish; just ask to get your nails buffed or request a clear top coat. Not only does this convey good grooming, but it will help you understand that the reason a woman pays attention to the small details on you is that she pays attention to those details on herself.

       Remove excess hair. Get tweezers or a nose-hair trimmer, and remove any hair in your nostrils, between your eyebrows, in your ears, and on the back of your neck. If you’re particularly hirsute elsewhere, trim it, shave it, or pluck it.

       Examine yourself closely in a mirror. If possible, buy a magnifying mirror. Remove any visible ear wax with a Q-tip; tweeze any stray hairs; clip and clean your fingernails and toenails; and look for oily skin, dry skin, bags under your eyes, or other problem areas that require the use of specialized facial products.

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