The Rules of the Game. Neil Strauss

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       DAY 8 BRIEFING

       THE TWO KEYS

      As soon as you approach a group of strangers, they generally think two things: “What does this person want from me?” and “How long is he going to stay here?”

      One of the strategies of the game is anticipating and defusing these objections—and any objections—before they happen. If you do this successfully in the first minute or two of your approach, you’ll be much less likely to receive negative or flat responses.

      Rooting

      If a woman doesn’t know why you’re talking to her, she’ll generally be suspicious until she either finds out from you or guesses her own reason. This is why people using opinion openers for the first time are often asked if they’re taking a survey.

      To anticipate the question “What does this person want from me?” you need to “root” your opener by giving your question a legitimate context.

      For example, the opener may be something that’s just now come up in your life, and there’s a slightly urgent need to get an answer immediately.

      The best way to convey this is to explain at some point during the opener why you’re asking. You can use the following words to introduce your root: “The reason I’m asking is because . . .”

      In the shady friend opener, the reason you’re asking is that your buddy just moved in with his girlfriend, and she doesn’t want him to talk to one of his female friends. And you were just now trying to give him advice, but he won’t listen and you need some backup.

      The root doesn’t always need to be elaborate. It can be as simple as: “My friend and I were just talking, and we need a woman’s perspective.” If you’re not with a friend, then it can be a discussion you were just having on your cell phone. Anything reasonable qualifies as a root, as long as it lets the woman or group know why you walked up and started talking to them about that particular subject at that very moment.

      Time Constraints

      For most inexperienced men, the game consists of approaching a woman and trying to stay in constant conversation until she either dismisses him or sleeps with him. Because of this, women have developed a vast array of tactics to get rid of guys who lurk too long.

      This is why, from now on, you’re going to let her know right away that you’re not one of those guys. Unless she’s already attracted to you, from the minute you approach she will most likely be wondering how to get rid of you. Her strategies for doing so may include telling you she’s in the middle of an important conversation with her friends, claiming she has to go to the bathroom, or pretending that she has a boyfriend or is a lesbian.

      So to anticipate the question “How long is he going to stay here?” you’ll need to use a time constraint.

      A time constraint is anything that explicitly lets the woman or group know that you don’t plan on hanging around long. It should be inserted in the first minute of conversation, before the group has the chance to wonder when your story is going to end. So preface the opener you’ve been using with a time constraint like, “I have to get back to my friend in a minute, but, really quickly . . .” Or, in the middle of your opener, explain, “By the way, it’s guys night out and I shouldn’t even be talking to you all.”

      A time constraint doesn’t have to be verbal. It can be physical as well. This is conveyed by leaning away, rocking on your back foot, taking a few steps away as you’re talking, or anything else that makes it look like you’re in a hurry or on your way somewhere else.

      The best time constraints contain both elements: They’re expressed verbally and sold through body language.

      When you use both a time constraint and a root, it allows the woman or group to stop worrying about what you want and how to get rid of you, and relax enough to listen to what you have to say.

      But wait, you may be thinking. If you just told her you have to leave in a minute, how are you supposed to keep talking to her after the opener?

      Good question.

      The next key stage of the interaction is known as the “hook point.” This is when, instead of being a stranger taking up her time, you’ve captivated her—and suddenly she doesn’t want you to leave. So, reluctantly, you allow her to take up a little more of your precious time.

      Becoming that guy is what the next week of the Stylelife Challenge is all about.

      DAY

       MISSION 1: Crunch Time

      Next week, the pace is going to pick up. So to make sure you’re caught up and ready to proceed, today is review day.

      Your task is to look over the previous eight days of assignments. Then ask yourself:

       ^{Is there any mission I skipped?}

       ^{Is there any mission I feel I didn’t complete?}

       ^{Is there any mission I didn’t perform to my satisfaction?}

       ^{Is there any mission I’d like to do again?}

       ^{Have I backslid in my vocal training, posture, grooming, or commitment to my goals?}

      Take this opportunity to explore or repeat any previous assignments and exercises you need to reinforce.

       MISSION 2: Approach Mixed Groups

      If you’ve approached only lone women or groups of women during the Challenge so far, then it’s time to approach groups that contain men.

      Your mission is to approach two groups of three or more people that include men as well as women.

      Approaching groups with men may sound daunting if you haven’t done it yet, but it’s generally easier in practice. The more intimidating people are to approach, the less likely it is they’ve been approached.

      Don’t forget, all you have to do to ensure the success of the approach is make sure that the guys are always involved in the conversation, they feel respected, and they know you’re not hitting on the women. At least not yet.

       MISSION 3: Intervention

      Statistically, the ninth day of a new self-improvement program is the point when most people drop out. That’s not going to be you. So your final task today is to read your Day 9 Briefing and prepare to learn how to learn.

       DAY 9 BRIEFING

       THE FOURTEEN LAWS OF LEARNING

      When I first set off on my journey to learn the game, a college junior named Chad emailed me. He had discovered the world of pickup artistry six months earlier and was already well versed in the basic concepts. However, he was still a virgin.

      He was far better looking СКАЧАТЬ