Everyone Loves You When You're Dead. Neil Strauss

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      Midway through the interview, Lady Gaga asked me to stop recording. She sang a new song, “Born This Way,” a cappella, then opened her MacBook and played demos of half a dozen other tracks she was working on. Wendi Morris, her tour manager, shook her head in disapproval, since the album wasn’t supposed to be released for at least nine months. “He’s going to write about other stuff,” Gaga protested. “I just want him to know who I am.”

       I’m going to ask you a question I’ve asked a few other artists: If you finish this album and you feel it’s the greatest album you’ve ever made, could you then go bury it somewhere and know that no one is ever going to hear it, but still feel artistically satisfied for having completed it?

      LADY GAGA: No! No way!

       So far, only one person has said they could do that and feel satisfied.

      LADY GAGA: Whatever artist said that is lying to you.

       I’ll tell you the one person who said yes. It was PJ Harvey, and I think I believe her.

      LADY GAGA: I would believe PJ Harvey. But you know, to be totally honest—and I don’t like to say anything bad about other artists at all—but I will say hypothetically, any artist that’s on a record label that’s putting out music that tells you they don’t care about fame is lying to you. Because you can always just make music in your room at home by yourself for no money.

       Right, and she was doing an interview.

      LADY GAGA: And you’re doing an interview, so why? Even if they don’t really believe they’re lying, they’re lying. I think it was John Lennon that used to say anyone who says they don’t make music for people to hear it, they’re full of shit. Go make music in your room. It’s so dumb to me. Are you thirsty?

       I’m fine. Your fans seem to really like what you stand for, because some people need to be reminded that it’s okay to be different.

      LADY GAGA: I love what they stand for. I love who they are. They inspire me to be more confident every day. When I wake up in the morning, I feel just like any other insecure twenty-four-year-old girl. But I say, “Bitch, you’re Lady Gaga, you better fucking get up and walk the walk today,” because they need that from me. And they inspire me to keep going.

       On her tour bus that night, she discusses finding a mentor in the writer Deepak Chopra, and crying hysterically to him before a recent show about a dream in which the devil was trying to take her to hell.

       Do you have any recurring dreams?

      LADY GAGA: I have this recurring dream sometimes where there’s a phantom in my home. And he takes me into a room and there’s a blond girl with ropes tied to all four of her limbs. And she’s got my shoes on from the Grammys. Go figure—psycho. And the ropes are pulling her apart.

      I never see her get pulled apart, but I just watch her whimper and then the phantom says to me, “If you want me to stop hurting her and if you want your family to be okay, you will cut your wrist.” And I think that he has his own like crazy wrist-cutting device. And he has this honey in like Tupperware, and it looks like sweet-and-sour sauce with a lot of MSG from New York. Just bizarre. And he wants me to pour the honey into the wound, and then put the cream over it and a gauze. So I looked up the dream and I couldn’t find anything about it anywhere. And my mother goes, “Isn’t that an Illuminati ritual?” And I was like, “Oh my God!”

       You definitely have a martyr thing going on in that dream. Instead of bleeding openly, you take it all inside and cover it up.

      LADY GAGA: You know what’s so funny is that’s what Deepak said to me. He said that I was recognizing my own cultural death and resurrection. I wrote that song I played for you right after I had that dream. So my dreams do induce my creativity.

       They have to come from somewhere.

      LADY GAGA: And they gotta go somewhere. I can’t leave them in my brain or I’ll go crazy!

       Her tour manager serves her white wine and chicken strips, which she dips copiously in ketchup. She discusses her recent diagnosis as “borderline lupetic,” which means that she is at risk of developing lupus, the autoimmune disease her aunt Joanne died from before Lady Gaga was born.

       So what changes did you make in your life once you found out?

      LADY GAGA: I make much more of an effort now to minimize the drama or the stress in my life. I take care of myself. I drink and I still live my life, but I could never let my fans down. That would kill me to have to face that extra obstacle every day to get onstage. It’s completely terrifying, so I’m just really focused on mind, body, and soul. And also, Joanne—I believe that her spirit is inside of me. So, you know, my closest friends have told me that it was just her way of peeking in to say hello.

       That’s an interesting way to think about it.

      LADY GAGA: And I’ve got her death date on my arm.

       Next to the Rilke quote?

      LADY GAGA: Yeah. She was a poet and a writer, and I guess I truly believe that she had unfinished work to do and she works through me. She was like a total saint. So maybe she’s living vicariously through a sinner (laughs).

       Minutes later, the bus stops in front of a hotel to pick up Lady Gaga’s assistant and continue to Manchester for the next concert.

       I’ll let you get to Manchester. Let me see if I missed anything.

      LADY GAGA: What are you saying? You got way more than anyone. And you saw two shows. I feel raped (laughs)!

       You have given me a lot of good stuff . . .

      LADY GAGA: Use the stuff that’s going to make me a legend. (To her tour manager:) I want to be a legend. Is that wrong?