Everyone Loves You When You're Dead. Neil Strauss

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СКАЧАТЬ style="font-size:15px;">       So let’s just discuss a few of the ideas.

      FARRELL: Okay. I guess one of my main ideas would be to have a place called Perry’s Space and (hesitates) . . . It’s like you get shuttled out to space—you know, to a place that could hold a few thousand people. There would be three stages out there, because (pauses)—I’m thinking to myself—you’d have a few thousand people on the main stage, yeah. That would work. The drive is always nice for clearing your head.

       Would there be music on each stage?

      FARRELL: You could also have other things. We could have maybe alien bands playing. And who knows what kind of techno stuff they would have to present. I mean right now we’ve got computers, right? But who knows what they’ve got. They might have like plutonium rides, where you’d really be like shot up in space and get a quick rush or something. And then instead of parachuting down, you would float down.

       Imagine the insurance the festival would have to pay.

      FARRELL: Actually, it would be nothing. You couldn’t get hurt. There might be strays that were shot into space and something happened, like current from a black hole that was like ten zillion miles away was starting to sort of gravitate toward us and people are getting sucked out. So there might be one casualty per show. But there always is anyway at the regular Lollapalooza shows, so . . .

       So what would be on the main stage?

      FARRELL: There’s a good question. God, all the alien music probably wouldn’t make sense. But they would produce things like certain kilohertz or megahertz because they would know how to physically manipulate your body through sound to make you cry and fall in love and actually have orgasms.

       How about for the art and technology portion of the festival?

      FARRELL: For their technology, they might show you crafts of flight like we have out in Nevada at Area 51. Maybe you would have virtual simulations of flying saucers and how they were made. They would probably give us classes on how to clean up the environment and how to repair the ozone. I think they could turn us on to everything that we had questions about, including robot training and how to have your own human slave, you know. Zombie slaves.

       Why do people always assume aliens are more advanced than us? Maybe they’re not.

      FARRELL: I think they are. They’re way more advanced. Wouldn’t that be nice, to have your own zombie for a minute? You just go behind a curtain.

       And then what?

      FARRELL: And you could program your own zombie.

       Is there something else you’re thinking of for Lollapalooza in the less-distant future?

      FARRELL: Yeah, this year I’m trying to get like autopsies going on the third stage.

       Literally?

      FARRELL: I have a doctor friend of mine who wants to perform autopsies. I’m gonna try to get it for the West Coast. See if he can do it.

       Lollapalooza staff confirmed that Farrell was planning to show autopsies at the festival, though, not surprisingly, the idea never came to fruition. Instead, in 2005, Farrell helped start Kidzapalooza, a rock festival for children.

      

      Lucia Pamela may be best known as the mother of Georgia Frontiere, who inherited the Los Angeles Rams (when her sixth husband drowned) and moved them to her hometown of St. Louis. But to music aficionados, Pamela is a celebrity in her own right. Voted Miss St. Louis in 1926, Pamela started what many believe to be the first all-female orchestra, Lucia Pamela and the Musical Pirates. She also started a singing duo with Georgia, the Pamela Sisters, and was cited by Ripley’s Believe It or Not! for having memorized some ten thousand songs.

      But if you ask Pamela what accomplishment she’s proudest of, she’ll tell you it was building a rocket, touring the Milky Way, and beating Neil Armstrong to the moon, where she recorded her album Into Outer Space with Lucia Pamela. Clearly, the line between fact and fiction doesn’t exist for Pamela, which is what eventually made the album an enduring cult classic.

       Where did you record your album?

      LUCIA PAMELA: It was recorded on Moontown. I was the only one from Earth there.

       Is that where you saw the roosters and the blue wind you sing about?

      PAMELA: All of the music is true. And most of it is from experience. I also made a coloring book about the trip.

       For children?

      PAMELA: It’s for people of all ages. Children aren’t the only ones that like to color books (pauses). Have you ever been to the moon?

       No, but I’d like to go.

      PAMELA: The moon was quite surprising. Besides the moon, we found other areas outside the earth. I can’t remember whether we named any of them or not. We went to Venus, Mars, Neptune. . . . I was quite surprised to find that there was an awful lot of Oriental people there.

       What was Nutland like?21

      PAMELA: Oh, it was a beautiful place, and everybody there was wonderful. But they couldn’t speak English. Most of them spoke different languages, mostly Chinese, Japanese, and French . . . and Almond.

       When was the last time you visited the moon?

      PAMELA: This time last year, we flew up to the moon, yes. Me and some friends of mine. I’ve got it written down who flew us there. I can teach people how to travel to the moon and Mars and Venus. I also teach music and ice-skating. It doesn’t take a long time if they really want to learn. I’ll help anybody who wants to be helped.

       Do you have any predictions for the future?

      PAMELA: I want everything good to happen, but I want the weather to be good. If the weather is good, then everything is good.

       In 2002, Lucia Pamela died in a Los Angeles hospital at the age of ninety-eight.

      After a press conference, Christina Aguilera walked into a back room, sat on the floor next to a fireplace, and zoned out again. Suddenly, she turned her face up to me and, in a girlish pout, asked . . .

      CHRISTINA AGUILERA: What did that woman [reporter] say about Britney?

       She said that a Baptist organization had named her role model of the year or something. СКАЧАТЬ