THE SMITHY & NOBBY COLLECTION: 6 Novels & 90+ Stories in One Edition. Edgar Wallace
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Название: THE SMITHY & NOBBY COLLECTION: 6 Novels & 90+ Stories in One Edition

Автор: Edgar Wallace

Издательство: Bookwire

Жанр: Языкознание

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isbn: 9788027201655

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СКАЧАТЬ about cricket, but if Spud insulted the referee, ‘e’d have to leave the field, which Spud did amid loud cheers from ‘B’ Company.

      “In one way an’ another,” said Smithy, “Nobby got all the ‘G’ chaps out for eleven.

      “Spiky Brown was put out for hittin’ a ball outside the boundary, old ‘Ampshire Giles got run out naturally, Billy Pain was out for makin’ remarks to the referee, two other chaps was out for hittin’ the ball with the wrong side of the bat, an’ the rest was out under one of Nobby’s new rules.

      “Me an’ ‘Appy Johnson was the first to bat for our side, an’ Billy Pain was the bowler.

      “The first ball I got I just managed to touch, an’ it” sort of glanced off my bat into Spud Murphy’s hands.

      “How’s that?’ yells Spud.

      “‘Not out!’ sez Nobby.

      “‘It is out!’ roars Spud, indignantly.

      “‘What did you want to ask me for?’ sez Nobby, ‘if you knew all about it? Go on with the game.’

      “But they wouldn’t go on until Nobby explained the rule. It appears, by Nobby’s rule, a chap that’s been warned off the field by the referee ain’t allowed to get a man out, either by catchin’ or bowlin’.

      “‘It’s part of the punishment, Spud,’ sez Nobby, sadly. ‘I can’t help you, my poor feller; I didn’t make the rules,’

      “‘I don’t know so much about that,’ sez Spud, fiercely.

      “We went on with the game, an’ bimeby a ball come along an’ sent my middie stump flyin’.

      “‘How’s that?’ sez the bowler.

      “Nobby hesitated for a bit an’ looks at the stumps, an’ then looks at me.

      “‘How’s that!’ shouts ‘G’ Company, very wild.

      “‘Out,’ sez Nobby, ‘quite out, by the rules of the game.’

      “After this ‘G’ Company began to brighten up a bit; they could see there was something in Nobby’s rules after all.

      “There was a bit of sensation in court, in a manner of speakin’, a few minutes after, when ‘Appy Johnson gave ‘is bat a swing backward an’ knocked the bails off.

      “‘How’s that?’ shouts the wicket-keeper.

      “‘Not out,’ sez Nobby, very prompt.

      “‘Why not?’ shouts Spud Murphy, gettin’ red in the face. Nobby turns on ‘im sternly. ‘I’ve ‘ad to speak to you once before, young feller, an’ if I ‘ave any more cheek from you, I’ll deal severely with you.’

      “‘But why ain’t ‘Appy out?’ sez Spud, very persistent.

      “Nobby thought an’ thought, while everybody stood waitin’, an’ then, when ‘e couldn’t think of anything to say, ‘e sez: ‘I refuse to discuss the matter; go on with the game.’

      “‘Appy got out after a bit by bein’ clean bowled, an’ although Nobby said it was a ‘no ball,’e allowed ‘Appy to go out, becos the other side was doin’ so badly.

      “The game stood eleven all when our last man, Dusty Miller, went in, an’ the excitement was intense.

      “Before the play atarted, Nobby goes up to Dusty an’ starts givin’ him tips.

      “‘What you want to do, Dusty,’ sez Nobby,, ‘is to keep well in front of the wicket, an’ if you see the ball comin’ straight for the stumps, put your bat down so as it can’t get past. Get a bye if possible, because that’s easiest, an—’

      “‘Ere!’ interrupts Spud Murphy, who was gettin’ quite vexed, ‘‘ere, Nobby, you’re the bloomin’ umpire; you ain’t allowed to give tips.’

      “‘Ho! ain’t I?’ sez Nobby, indignant. ‘Ain’t allowed to give tips, when I’ve got four shillin’s on the game?’

      “‘No,’ roars Spud.

      “‘Proceed with the game,’ sez Nobby politely, ‘an’ keep your face closed, Mr. Murphy, if you please.’

      “Dusty ciid very well,” commended Smithy. “All the balls that come straight for the wicket ‘e stopped, either with his bat or with his leg, an’ Nobby patted him on the back once and said ‘Bravo.’

      “‘Then a nice slow ball come along, an’ Dusty, bein’ encouraged by what Nobby said, went ‘arf way down the pitch to meet it.

      “‘E gave it such a sort of swingin’ roundabout cut an’ drove it be’ind ‘im.

      “It would ‘ave got a boundary, only Nobby appeared to be standin’ in the way.

      “The ball caught ‘im in the middle of the chest, an’ down dropped Nobby, blue in the face an’ gaspin’.

      “We all gathered round, an’ Gus Ward, who was lookin’ on, gave Nobby some artificial — what-do-you-call-it? — sort of dumb-bell exercise for drownded people.

      “Bimeby Nobby came round, an’ ‘e glares at Dusty.

      “‘Are you ‘urt, Nobby?’ sez Dusty, anxious.

      “‘Urt!’ gasps Nobby, faintly; ‘yes, I am,’ ‘e sez, ‘but you! — you’re “out” an’ warned orf the field by the new rules,’ ‘e sez.”

       Table of Contents

      “The thing about the Army, that’s the most curious,” said the informing Smithy, “is that you never know what a chap’s been before he enlisted.

      “You see a smart-lookin’ chap, smart tunic, white belt, little boots, an’ a nice curl down over ‘is for-’ead, an’ you say to yourself, ‘That chap was a gentleman before ‘e enlisted, I’ll bet;’ but the chances are he was only a costermonger.

      “Similarly you see a chap untidy, a chap who don’t like shavin’, an’ generally keeps hisself to hisself, an’ you put ‘im down as a corner boy, when the chances are he’s ‘ad a good education, an’ as likely as not ‘e’s been a chap like you — made ‘is livin’ by puttin’ bits in the paper.

      “There’s quite a lot of respectable young fellers in the Army supposed to be single who dursen’t go near a work’ouse for fear ‘arf a dozen little ‘eads will pop over the wall an’ start shoutin’ ‘Father!’ an’ visa versa.

      “I don’t trouble my ‘ead very much about what a chap’s been, although I’ve often wondered what Nobby was before ‘e СКАЧАТЬ