Emotional Confidence: Simple Steps to Build Your Confidence. Gael Lindenfield

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ state which can be identified by specific patterns of biochemical and hormonal change. It is experienced as a much less intense sensation and sometimes we may not even be aware of what is going on. A mood can last for hours or it can stretch over a period of days. An emotional state which persists for longer than a few weeks is often called an affective disorder. (This is the general term which doctors use to describe a sad or black mood which has developed over time into a depressive illness.)

      One of the differences between a mood and an emotion is that, when we are in a mood, our feelings and biochemistry do not necessarily correspond with any easily identifiable trigger. This is why we sometimes think that moods arise from ‘out of the blue’. In fact they have always been induced by one or more of the following factors:

      1. very deep emotional experiences which have not been expressed (e.g. through ‘soldiering on’ as though nothing has happened after a big disappointment and then finding ourselves in an ‘unexplainably’ snappy mood)

      2. a number of quickly repeated emotional experiences (e.g. a series of frustratingly ineffective phone calls leading to a despairing mood; meeting a succession of inspiring people at a conference or party leading to a motivated mood)

      3. changes in internal chemistry due to, for example, lack of sleep, menstruation, food deprivation, weather conditions, etc.

      One of the dangers about moods is that they can change the way we start viewing the world in general without our even realizing it. We start unconsciously selecting opportunities and people that fit in with our mood. So if we are job-hunting in a foul mood we tend to see only the jobs we are not likely to get, and to seek advice or consolation from cynics. The consequence being that our life can drift into becoming as genuinely ‘foul’ as our mood.

      Instant Exercise

      Recall a mood you have been in during the past week, and think about the exact factors that may have caused it. Note the quality of the thoughts which you had while you were in that mood and whether they affected any decisions you made during that time.

       WHAT IS TEMPERAMENT?

      This is the term used to describe a particular person’s predisposition to certain emotions or moods. Our temperament also affects the way we learn to express our feelings, so it can have great bearing on the development of our personality.

      We experience and observe temperament as our habitual ‘life-long’ feelings which seem to be integral to our identity. We often talk about them guiding our behaviour and our attitudes. For example:

      I’m a worrier → you won’t see me smiling when there are too many changes around

      I’ve got a bit of a temper → I usually stay quiet if I see trouble brewing

      I’m extrovert like my mum and her mum → we’re always the noisy ones at a party!

      Our temperamental patterns are set by a mixture of the following factors:

      – our genetic inheritance (e.g. a family can have a history of men who suffer from depression, or of women who are emotionally ‘explosive’)

      – the physical structure of our brains (e.g. someone who has been born with emotional damage to their brain in a specific area may be described as ‘being quick-tempered’ because that section of their nervous system cannot control their feeling responses very efficiently)

      – our life experiences (e.g. a person whose childhood was peppered with disappointments often develops a pessimistic temperament).

      Instant Exercise

      Write down three adjectives which are often used to describe your temperament; think if any of these might have been affected by any of the above factors. What kind of moods do each of these temperamental factors tend to encourage?

       HOW DO EMOTION, MOOD AND TEMPERAMENT RELATE TO EACH OTHER?

      Emotion, mood and temperament are closely interrelated. I have listed some facts about their interdependence below. To bring this theory to life I have followed each with a positive example of its potential impact on someone chasing a life-dream.

      Our imaginary dream-seeker is called Sophie. You’ll notice that she is brimming with an enviable amount of emotional confidence.

Our temperament influences our goals	Sophie is an optimist by nature so she sets herself a challenging New Year goal – to find the love of her life
Our goals affect our well-being; our temperament affects the actions we take to achieve these goals	She sets about energetically achieving her goal because she believes she will succeed and is confident that she can handle any disappointments she may meet en route
Our emotions are triggered by events which affect our well-being	Sophie feels happy when she meets someone who invites her to a party where she might achieve her goal
A series of the same emotions affects our moods	She is in a good mood because many good things have happened (over the course of the day) which have helped her to feel continuously happy (she achieved her target at work; the sun shone; she had a wonderfully tasty lunch and she heard the news that 105 bachelors had been invited to the party!)
Our mood influences the way we notice events which affect our well-being	Because she is in a good mood, Sophie doesn’t notice the rain and howling wind on the way to the party
Our biochemistry makes us susceptible to emotions which relate to our current mood	She is in an exceptionally good mood because she believes that she stands a fair chance of imminently achieving her goal; so instead of getting depressed about all the gorgeous competition around her, she feels calm and confident – when a stunning guy beams at her from across the crowded room
We are more likely to sustain an emotional response when we are in a mood which is in harmony with the emotion we are feeling	Sophie now feels a trickle of energizing excitement infiltrating her happy, calm mood. As an optimist who thrives on challenging goals, and totally confident that she can manage any amount of passion, she begins to …!

      Instant Exercise

      Note down a goal which you have achieved or would like to achieve. Think of the role your own temperament and moods have had, or could have, on the realization of that goal.

       DOES EACH EMOTION HAVE ITS OWN NEUROLOGICAL RESPONSE?

      The short answer appears to be that we don’t know. The only significant information I have gleaned from the research done СКАЧАТЬ