It’s Just a Date: A Guide to a Sane Dating Life. Greg Behrendt
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Название: It’s Just a Date: A Guide to a Sane Dating Life

Автор: Greg Behrendt

Издательство: HarperCollins

Жанр: Секс и семейная психология

Серия:

isbn: 9780007287161

isbn:

СКАЧАТЬ for some x-rays. He was very handsome and talked to me like no man had spoken to me in some time. Since my divorce I’ve really spent the last few years working on myself and not really dating. Anyway I was pretty taken with him. He took my number and we talked on the phone every night. I even came into work late a few times because I’d only gotten off the phone hours before. He was all I could think about. He finally asked me out and I’ll bet you can guess for when. Exactly, Greg! The same weekend as our Vegas trip. I told him I was so conflicted. He even said we could do it when I got back. I called my girlfriends and they all said the same thing. “He’ll be here when you get back.” That’s why I’ll never understand why I did what I did next … I called him and told him I’d gladly break my plans to see him. Now that you know the deal you can only imagine how stupid I felt when he told me at dinner that he wanted to be clear that this was just a friend thing. A F@#%ING FRIEND THING! My girlfriend just now texts me that she’s sitting next to Britney at the Palms—and he wants to be friends? How much worse does it get Greg? Trust me, I’ve learned my lesson.

      IT’S JUST A F*#KING ART MUSEUM

      It’s all out there waiting for you, kid. Museums, gyms, friendships, charities, travel, etc. … all you have to do is put one foot in front of the other. These are the things that make you attractive, these are the things that give you stories to tell on dates and this is the life that awaits you. It is the life you must have in order to be in a successful relationship, so start taking some risks. You are not going to love everything you try, but do it anyway because you never know who else has signed up for that formula one racing class.

      The Original World Famous Winner Dater’s Workbook

      It’s time for you to get a life—and if you already have one, it’s time to make it an even fuller and more kickass one. We are put here on this planet to explore and enjoy it, so let’s get you out into it and doing things so that next time you get asked out you’ll have to check your schedule for real.

      Make a list of things that you want to do and start scheduling them regularly so that you are getting the most out of your life while this time is still yours alone to use. We’ll give you a few ideas to start but it’s up to you to think of more, then go do them regularly.

       List 5 things you’d like to do weekly

      1 Take a yoga class

      2 Do the Sunday Crossword puzzle

      3 Take the dog on a walk

      4 

      5 

       List 5 things you’d like to do every other week

      1 See a movie

      2 Wander around Primark for half an hour

      3 Have dinner with a friend

      4 

      5 

       List 5 things you’d like to do monthly

      1 Get your car washed

      2 Try a new restaurant

      3 Take a tennis lesson

      4 

      5 

       4

       principle #3: pretty is as pretty does

      What’s The Message You’re

      Sending To The World?

      So as it turns out, this world here that we’ve been living in happens to be a visual medium. How totally random is that? Not random at all, actually. The reason we have eyes is to see the world around us and the people in front of us. To give our brains images and information so that it has things to process so that we can form opinions and ideas about what and who we see. But what does that mean in a dating book? Glad you asked, because we’ve been meaning to talk to you about this, and it’s a bit awkward but … it’s time to get real about what you’re putting out into the world. We all have blind spots and don’t necessarily see ourselves the way others see us, and we don’t always care about the things that others care about. But the undeniable truth is that how you present—that means what you look like, how you’re groomed, what you wear, how you smell, how you act and how you carry yourself—speaks volumes to those that we come in contact with. We know, we know … people shouldn’t be judged by the way they look but rather by what’s on the inside. You’re totally right and also totally in denial about how the world works.

      Like it or not, men are visually stimulated creatures. Do you really think that when a guy sees two women; one of them styled out and groomed and feeling great, the other not particularly caring about what she looks like, that he thinks that the un-styled one must have a great personality? NO! He thinks the styled out girl might be interesting and the other one doesn’t really care so why should he? It’s not about being pretty, it’s about telling the world that you care about yourself. There’s a million different ways to style out and make the effort; not everybody has to look like Agyness Deyn. And not looking like Agyness Deyn isn’t a good excuse to not care how you look.

      Here are a few things to keep in mind …

      FEELING PRETTY IS PRETTY

      If you know that plucking your eyebrows and shaving your legs make you feel prettier, then do it! If shaving your legs opens up your wardrobe to wearing skirts more often, then do it! Maybe you don’t wear make-up because it adds time to your morning routine but when you do wear mascara and lip gloss you look prettier, more noticeable and carry yourself with a little more sparkle. Men notice sparkle! So take the extra five minutes and then you won’t have to wait until you’re stuck in an elevator during a city-wide blackout for someone to take an interest in getting to know you.

      DON’T FORGET YOU’RE A WOMAN

      Men like you to look nice and smell good otherwise they don’t get to be distracted from their stupid problems when you walk by. They like to see your legs, catch a glimpse of your cleavage, watch you brush your hair away from your eyes and, most of all, they like to know that you know that you’re a sexual being. Any hint of sexuality or sensuality is golden with men.

      … BUT NOT A PROSTITUTE

      Men want to see your body BUT not too much of your body! Do you know what we’re talking about? There’s a difference between making an effort to style out with your appearance and dressing too sexy. Some outfits tell a guy “Hey, it’s cool to call me at 4 a.m.” and others say “You are going to have to work for it if you want to be a part of this spectacularness!” Yes, spectacularness is a new word.

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