It’s Just a Date: A Guide to a Sane Dating Life. Greg Behrendt

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СКАЧАТЬ I can catch a certain flight because I don’t want to fly with anyone else. I also know that if I decide not to fly they are going to fly anyway and that doesn’t mean they don’t like me. It means they’ve got a job to do and that’s why I fly them in the first place. Plus they are just a really sexy airline. Do you see where I’m going with this? You are the airline. You should keep your flights—that means plans with your friends and your own schedule—and he can come fly with you when he can but you aren’t holding up the plane or your life for him. Because flying with you is better than flying any other airline and the right guy will figure that out.

      But What If I’m Happy To Give Up My Life?

      Dear Greg,

      When I like someone, I like them a lot. I can’t help the way I feel and I’m not going to deny myself all those great feelings when you like someone new and are completely inseparable. I’m happy to give up my life because what I get in return is worth the price. I’m guilty of smothering guys but I’ve been smothered too and it’s not the worst way to figure out that you’re not in the right thing. That’s how I roll and it just makes sense to me that when I find the right guy we’ll be all over each other and know we’re in the right place when neither of us gets tired or smothered. That sounds like paradise to me. Every relationship is a gamble and I’m a girl with a stack of chips and a taste for gambling. So put that in your pipe and smoke it.

       Brooke

       Los Angeles, CA

       Dear Smoking Aces,

      Right on. Can’t wait until your book comes out. Sounds like you and the guys you attract have a lot going for you.

      P.S. The next time you smother someone do it with a pillow, that way they’ll never go away.

      What If Not Canceling My Plans Doesn’t Work?

      Dear Greg,

      I went on this fabulous first date with a sports writer. This was on a Monday. I felt we really connected. We both like South Western cooking, the outdoors and especially camping. He actually said something like, “We should go camping sometime.” Which I thought was both promising and sweet. So I said, “… let me check my schedule.” We laughed about it. Two nights later her took me to a baseball game and the night after that we went dancing. Both times he brought up the camping thing, even saying maybe we could go that weekend. I told him I had a cousin who was having her baby shower but maybe the weekend after that. He said that he was going to be on the road and that this was the only chance he’d have for awhile. I told him I wasn’t going to break my plans but would block out some time when he got back. He agreed but I never heard from him again. Did I blow it? I really liked him.

       Emily

       Pittsburg, PA

       Dear Camp Emily,

      You did blow it. Not only should you have told your cousin to shove it, you should have also quit your job, bought a tent and camped out in front of his place. No, you didn’t blow it! You did exactly what you should have done, which is stick to your plans. You had already seen him three times that week. The fact that you never heard back makes me think that the sports writer just wanted to get you naked in a tent. Otherwise he would have gladly waited for the pleasure of your awesome company. Besides, how upset would you be had you disappointed your cousin, gone camping and then he never called again? Just keep doing what your doing, kiddo, because you’re batting a thousand.

      What If He Has No Life?

      Dear Greg,

      Okay here’s a tough one. I’ve been seeing this very cool guy for a little over a month. He did everything right, in fact he is just that into me. Ha! He calls, he shows up when he says he’s going to, he’s affectionate, he’s interested in my work (I’m a barrister) and he likes my friends and family. So what’s the problem? I feel so bad even writing this, but he’s too available. I was so afraid he was going to be like so many guys I had dated before who weren’t interested in my life, but this is just the opposite. He’s almost too interested in my life, not only that but aside from his job (he’s a systems analyst) he doesn’t seem to have a life of his own. How do you tell someone to get a life? I don’t want to ruin this. How do I fix it?

       Cerys

       Cardiff, Wales

       Dear He’s Just Too Into You

      You just have to tell him the truth today because this is a relationship killer. Here’s how you do it: you tell him all the good things you just told me about him and that this relationship has real potential, but in order for it to go the distance he shouldn’t feel the need to devote so much time to you. Tell him that you’d love to do more things with his friends and family and that you also require a little alone time to recharge your battery. One of two things will happen: he will be excited at the possibility of bringing your two worlds together or you’ll find out for sure that he has no other life. If the latter is true then you will have to tell him that your requirements for a great relationship include both people having a full life and that he’s got to find other things in his life besides his job and you to bring him happiness. Hopefully he will understand. You may be doing him a giant favor but you have to be clear that this relationship will not work unless he does that. Sorry Hot Stuff, but it just won’t.

      FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE

      Where Can I Find A Life?

      Dear Greg,

      I heard you on the radio the other day talking about getting a life but you didn’t say exactly how one should do that. Here’s my problem. I moved recently for work and within a week I met the girl who would become my girlfriend. We spent all kinds of time together but now I can tell she’s getting kind of sick of me. I don’t want to be that guy who has no life. The problem is I don’t know anyone here except my boring office mates and most of my social life revolves around her. Help.

       Burton

       Roswell, GA

      Dear СКАЧАТЬ