Always In My Heart. Freda Lightfoot

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ with a mix of fury and terror, Brenda slapped his hands away, spun on her heels and stalked off at a rapid pace across the hall and through the outer door, holding her head high. The moment she reached the courtyard, she took to her heels and ran as if the devil was on her tail, because in a way he was.

      Respectable jobs, it seemed, were as hard to come by now as transport.

       *

      Her heart was pounding with fear and exhaustion by the time Brenda reached Camille’s apartment. She’d taken great care that she wasn’t being followed, and felt hardly able to breathe as alarm reverberated through her. How stupid to trust an absolute stranger and follow him, without even knowing what he had to offer. She’d put herself in serious danger as a consequence of such naivety, and must never do such a thing again. She dreaded to think what he might have done to her.

      ‘What is wrong, dear girl?’ Camille asked, watching in dismay as Brenda collapsed on to the velvet sofa in tears.

      ‘You wouldn’t believe what’s just happened.’ The two ladies came to sit beside her, Camille dabbing at the tears dripping down her cheeks with a lace handkerchief.

      ‘Do tell us what has upset you. Are you all right, dear?’

      ‘Fortunately, yes. I thought I’d at last found employment.’ Quickly explaining her terrifying story, tears again filled her eyes at the sight of their shocked expressions. ‘Once I realised that it was a brothel and not a hotel, I ran hell for leather, as we say in England. How dare that German officer grope me, the bastard! Nothing on earth would persuade me to give myself to any man.’

      ‘What a dreadful world we are living in now,’ Adèle said with a sad sigh as she wrapped her arms about Brenda to give her a comforting hug. ‘I’ve heard that Polish and other foreign girls, some as young as fifteen, have found themselves kidnapped and taken to a brothel to be sexually exploited. Thank goodness you managed to escape, darling.’

      ‘You are perfectly safe here with us, but I think you should stay indoors for a while, just in case they come looking for you, dear,’ Camille suggested.

      Brenda nodded in agreement, feeling bleak and even more trapped. Perhaps it was not a good idea for a British girl to seek work in this occupied city. She really had no wish to ever again be approached by such rogues. Picking up her child, together with his little toy monkey, Brenda gave him a kiss and a cuddle. How she adored him. Bathing, nursing and feeding him in the days following helped to ease her anxiety as the sweet baby scent of her son brought joy to her heart.

Five

       1944

      Puffs of white cloud danced over humps of hills the next morning as Brenda stared bleakly out of the window, having suffered another fairly sleepless night. Could all these traumas be the reason her confidence was leaking rapidly away? She felt filled with anguish, as if she was falling into that dark pit yet again, quite unable to block out the pain. Yet she’d learned over the years to fight these feelings of extreme anxiety by rebuilding her strength, something she really must work upon.

      Mrs Harding, even plumper than she’d been when Brenda had first come to work with her, was still a jolly and cheerful woman and most welcoming as Brenda settled herself at the table in the kitchen for breakfast. For a moment it felt almost as if she’d never been away. Brenda remembered how she used to scrub this big pine table and the slate floors, black-lead the stove and spend hours peeling and chopping vegetables, washing and ironing. Long hard days full of endless tasks.

      The housekeeper gently patted her hand. ‘Tha looks like tha’s been through hell, chuck.’

      ‘You could say that.’

      ‘As have many others in this dratted war, but you’re safe home now.’

      ‘It will surely end soon. Even France is on the road to freedom.’

      ‘Aye, as we all will be before too long. And don’t fret about Master Hugh being a bit sniffy. It’s no fault of yours. As well as losing his parents, his fiancée was recently killed in an air raid. He attended her funeral in London only a week or two ago.’

      ‘Oh, that’s dreadful! He never said a word about that.’ Was this the reason for his foul temper? ‘I was so upset to hear that Lady Stuart had died. She was such a lovely lady, and so kind to me. Do you know where she was living at the time, or where her cousin Adèle Rouanet, with whom she was sharing a home, lives?’

      With a puzzled frown Mrs Harding shook her head. ‘I only know what Miss Melissa told us, that her beloved Mama died of cancer. Nowt more was said on the subject. We all knew she’d left her husband, but ‘twas none of our business why or where she’d gone.’

      Brenda let out a heavy sigh, finding herself sinking into silent depression once more.

      ‘So how are you, chuck?’ the housekeeper asked, propping her legs up on a stool to give them a rest, since she was generally on her feet all day long.

      ‘I’m in a bit of a quandary right now, Mrs Harding. The fact is…’ Brenda paused, finding herself unable to speak of the anguish she was suffering at having lost her son. She’d lived in hope that those two dear ladies who had cared for them both so well, would have returned to England at some point, bringing Tommy with them. No doubt because of Camille’s tragic death, that hadn’t happened. At worst she’d expected a member of the family to at least have Adèle’s address, but Hugh claimed he didn’t even know her. ‘I’m fine,’ she said at last, giving a brave smile.

      In truth, Brenda felt as if her entire life lay in ruins, and could not decide how best to deal with this dilemma. The memory of dear Tommy brought to mind that his birthday would be coming up soon when he would turn four, and she hadn’t seen him since he was but a few weeks old. She had nothing left: no husband, no son, not even a job or any income, although she fully intended to find one. She could well need money to help search for him. Once this war was finally over, and she’d retrieved him from wherever Adèle was keeping him safe, Brenda fully intended to build a new life for them both.

      Putting on a brave face as she nibbled her toast, Brenda praised Mrs Harding for her delicious home-made jam. ‘I used to make this for Camille, exactly as you taught me,’ she told her. She’d learned a great deal working with the housekeeper all those years ago, and had enjoyed every moment of it, despite the hard work.

      ‘Thee allus were a good little worker, chuck.’

      ‘Hugh agreed to let me stay for only one night, so I’ll be leaving later today. But that’s fine by me. I need to find a job, and the best place to do that is in my home town of Castlefield, so the sooner I go the better.’

      Mrs Harding scowled. ‘Nay, tha doesn’t have to go yet, lass. I know he created a bit of a rumpus for thee, but Carter says Master Hugh has changed his mind and agreed you can stay for a few days until you get theeself sorted. No doubt he realises you’re in sore need of a rest, or else feels a bit guilty over the way he spoke to thee. Mind, he expects you to help wi’ the chores,’ she said, giving a droll little smile.

      ‘Oh, I’ve no problem with that. That would be wonderful. I’m so grateful.’ Perhaps he was not quite so unfeeling as he’d sounded?

      ‘It’s not been an easy time for any of the family, particularly Master Hugh, despite СКАЧАТЬ