Come Undone. Madelynne Ellis

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       Chapter 8

      Xane staggered downstairs.

      What the hell had happened? A short while ago, he’d been ready to swear off love for ever. He intended to lock himself in a darkened room, get blind drunk, pass out on the floor and not wake up until Thursday. Instead, there was a pleasant buzz in his veins that had very little to do with alcohol and far more to do with the girl on his sofa.

      Talk about being confused.

      It was probably just his battered heart looking for something, anything, to cling to; being worshipped by a pretty girl sure beat being lonely. And Dani wasn’t like the chicks that normally sneaked backstage to accost him. All they ever seemed to want was to strip him bare and use him as a life-sized masturbation aid. The fact that he was a person, with a past and a future, with opinions and sensibilities, entirely passed them by. Most of them didn’t even care which member of the band they were with. They just wanted a rock star. And, with the exception of the odd one who wanted him to sing while she went down on him, they didn’t give a fig about his music.

      Not only had Dani opted to keep her clothes on, he’d also lay money on her being intimately acquainted with every word, every chord and riff that he’d ever released. Also, she seemed to see through his guise to the real him.

      Maybe that’s why he was intrigued. She was right; he did pour everything into his music.

      Of course, he’d spoilt things by attempting to get physical with her. He’d blame the alcohol, but actually some habits just died hard.

      Not that he’d meant to kiss her. He’d … well, he’d panicked, and did what he always did, opened his mouth when he ought to have kept it closed. Even that oughtn’t to have led to anything – but the taste of her had got to him, all sweetness and innocence. He’d felt her apprehension, even as her excitement took over, and then he couldn’t stop himself. His heart might be bruised beyond recognition, and his head knew exactly how bad one-night stands were for his soul, but neither had apparently informed his cock of that fact, hence the growing wedge in his pants that was making it difficult to walk. All of which left him with a hard on and nowhere to put it.

      No big surprise there either, since he’d been acting like a Grade A prick from the moment he and Dani met: accosting her, using her as a taxi cab and then lumping her in with Black Halo’s usual class of groupies. It was a miracle she hadn’t slapped him yet, and no surprise at all that she wasn’t interested in servicing his ache. It wouldn’t surprise him if she slipped into the night while he was down here, and drove home.

      He’d have to applaud her good sense if she did, right after he’d lamented not grabbing her number. He paused, hands braced against either side of the narrow stairwell. Maybe he ought to get that now, except it’d make him look even more of a dick. Better to stick to plan A and clean himself up.

      Xane misjudged the bottom step and landed on his arse. God, he was a mess. A stinking, fucked-up mess. And a fool too for thinking that alcohol might right everything. Alcohol had never worked for him for blotting out pain. It only added to it. If he’d really wanted to lose himself for the night, he ought to have lurched back to the hotel with Ash and double-dipped with whoever his lead guitarist had managed to pick up en route. They could have made one gloriously long and sordid night of it, and he wouldn’t once have thought about Steve, or Elspeth, or the band, or been tempted to prod his heart to see if it hurt.

      It always fucking hurt! That’s what unrequited love did to you.

      Nor would he be stuck in purgatory with a girl he fancied but who wasn’t going to spread her thighs on command.

      He actually liked her for that.

      Besides, sleeping with her because his day had been shit, and he felt like shit, and she was the only thing around in his life at the moment that didn’t start with ‘S’ and end with ‘it’, wasn’t a great plan. It’d render the act and both of them cheap.

      But then, he was pretty cheap. Much as he liked to kid otherwise. Ash might be known as the Black Halo playboy, but Xane had enjoyed easily as many partners.

      ‘You’re screwed up, mate.’ He gurned at his reflection in the mirror. His stage face was smeared all over the place, and he’d already taken his contact СКАЧАТЬ