The Dating Game. Carolyn Caterer

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СКАЧАТЬ handshake plus a quick peck on the cheek, we walked into the restaurant. Now, I don’t mean to be critical of the younger generation and yes, I know that this may make me sound like a grumpy old woman, but what seems to have disappeared from the male portfolio in terms of etiquette, is the ability to take command of a situation and that leaves you floundering around as you try to work out your role on an evening out.

      (Note to all you men out there; women like the man to sort out the table on a date and to look after her. It is not the role of the woman to do it. Yes we are perfectly capable of doing so and make decisions all the time, but we like our men to take command and treat us like a princess!)

      We stood in the reception area and a waiter came over to us with an expectant look on his face. Well I thought it was expectant, maybe it was disbelief at an older woman arriving with a younger man, but I chose to completely ignore the issue as if I had walked in with a man sixteen years my senior, no one would have batted an eyelid. I stood quietly and waited for Chris to ask for a table, but I was greeted with silence. After about ten seconds of this, following the “Can I help you?” from the waiter I could stand it no longer and asked for a table for two in the conservatory area, which was nice and bright in the summer evening which meant I could get a good look at him before it got dark.

      Chris didn’t seem to think that it was at all odd that I sorted out the table and he then proceeded to walk in front of me and plonk himself down in the seat facing out towards the restaurant. I just hoped that he didn’t suffer from ADHD or else I knew he would soon be ignoring me and focussing on the action taking place behind me.

      We made some small talk and then ordered our food and I began the interrogation, noting that he had taken out his napkin and thrust it down the neck of his shirt. As he had ordered the spaghetti (never a good move on a first date) I could only imagine that he knew he was going to make a bit of a mess and so had taken action to reduce the damage. The sight of him sitting there with the napkin dangling down his front only served to reduce his appearance to that of a three year old.

      I decided to ignore this spectacle as I sailed in with my first question, designed to break the ice in a non-threatening way and create a relaxing atmosphere in which I could get to know him better. I may not have held out great hopes for him bearing in mind the age gap, but I was determined to enjoy my date.

      “So Chris, what degree did you do at University?”

      “Geography”

      “Oh wow, me too! Mind you I have to say that I have absolutely no sense of direction, which is really embarrassing as people seem to think I must instinctively know where every major city is in the UK and the Capital cities for the rest of the world!”

      This seemed to be a good start as we already had something in common. I decided to plough on and broaden the questions immediately.

      “So what job is it you do now? You haven’t mentioned it in your profile”

      “I’m a painter and decorator.”

      “You must be in demand in that case, as people seem to be doing their own decorating less and less these days from what I can see.”

      “Yeah, I’m quite busy so cannot complain.”

      The waiter arrived with our drinks and then scurried off, no doubt to tell his colleagues that this wasn’t a mother and son outing.

      “Oh and don’t tell me – you don’t decorate your own house rather like the car mechanic who never puts oil in his car?” I wanted him to see that I did have a sense of humour.

      “I don’t, but that’s because I live in rented accommodation as I am still paying off my student loan.”

      This was not quite the revelation I had expected and it caused me to choke on my orange juice. I come from an era where student loans hadn’t been invented and most of us managed to ensure we worked in the summer holidays and avoided the dreaded debt situation.

      I looked at him and began to wonder if he was after a female sugar daddy, but he didn’t seem to be asking any questions that would suggest that, so I decided his motives were pretty honourable and at least he was being honest about his situation and not making stuff up to try and impress me.

      Our food arrived and we spoke about our families and childhoods. I cannot say there was any huge spark at this point, but it was certainly turning out to be a pleasant enough evening, and no mention of any ex had been made, which had to be a bonus.

      Our main courses arrived and I was pleased I chose the ravioli as Chris twirled his spaghetti around his fork in wild abandon, projecting the rich tomato sauce onto his pristine white napkin, thus demonstrating the need for him using his napkin like a bib. I couldn’t quite work out if I found this endearing or irritating, so I decided to just continue with the meal and see how I felt as time passed by and I found out more about him.

      We started talking about music and it turned out that he was a keen guitarist and that his all time hero was none other than that man of talent, Eric Clapton. Fantastic!

      “I just love Clapton, though I have to admit I am mainly into his early work and haven’t listened to much of his recent stuff, but maybe I should give it a try. Have you ever seen him live?”

      “No I haven’t, but I’d love to. How about you?” As he said this I noticed that his napkin was starting to resemble a surrealist painting, so much sauce had found its way onto it. It distracted me for a moment as I wondered if all meals were like this with him, but felt that surely he couldn’t create a mess all the time? I willed myself to stay focussed on the conversation rather than the state of his bib and continued from where I had left off.

      “Yes I have seen him live at Wembley.”

      “What was that like?” He was really interested now and I could tell that he was impressed with my concert credentials!

      “It was fantastic. I was ten rows from the front, right in line with him and it was as if he was singing just for me. One of the best concerts I have ever been to”

      “Wow, when was it?”

      I realised that at this point my youthful appearance and young outlook on life were not going to help me one iota. I couldn’t avoid the reality and so I decided to just get on and say it.

      “Er, twenty-five years ago, when you were a year old!”

      I thought this reference to his age was actually very funny, but it obviously didn’t resonate with him as there was an awkward silence while we finished our main courses and decided that we wouldn’t go for dessert after all, but compromised with a coffee before asking for the bill.

      Now here is another thing about younger men; don’t get me wrong, I think it is only fair on an internet date for a woman to pay her share of the costs of dinner. Let’s face it, if the men had to pay every time they took a woman out they would be bankrupt after a few months. However I do like them to at least offer to pay for the meal, so that I can thank them but insist that I pay my share for the reasons mentioned above. Chris obviously expected us to go Dutch from the outset and actually I was the one that asked for the bill, so he lost a few brownie points in the chivalry department.

      The Eric Clapton thing СКАЧАТЬ