The Dating Game. Carolyn Caterer

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СКАЧАТЬ out he had a big meal at lunchtime, but that was eight hours earlier, so I’m sitting there thinking ‘how can you not be hungry after eight hours, does not compute, does not compute’ and ordered a starter and a plate of chips because by this stage I was really hungry, and I didn’t offer him anything.”

      “So then what happened?”

      “Well we carried on talking for another half an hour, at which point he starts to get restless and has obviously decided he is not remotely interested in me, which is fine, then he looks at his watch and announces he has to go or his dog will be crossing her legs. Now you see that was a big mistake!”

      “You have completely lost me, why was it a mistake to tell you he had to go home and let his dog out?”

      “Well, he had mentioned on the ‘phone, when we spoke to arrange the date, that his dog was three years old, so hardly an incontinent geriatric who couldn’t hold it in for four hours. By that comment alone I knew it was just an excuse to get out of there and that he wasn’t interested in me at all.”

      “But were you interested in him?”

      “Nope!”

      “Well at least you only drove twenty odd miles to meet him and not one hundred and twenty miles! Look on the bright side and put it down to experience; after all it is really a numbers game and the more men you meet the more likely you are to meet someone who is compatible. Plus at least you are looking in the right place as being on the website means that they are interested in a relationship”

      “Well you would think so, but I have had a number of emails from men who seem to be interested in sex and nothing else and, believe me, they make it very clear from the outset. I did think that putting in my profile a piece about wanting to get married would really scare the time wasters off, but it doesn’t seem to have happened. In fact I think some of them see it as a gladiatorial type challenge to do the complete opposite and persuade me to have a one night stand! They really aren’t at all subtle about it either. In fact it can be quite depressing that they make such little effort to engage you in any sort of dialogue before popping the question and not in a Mr Darcy like manner at all; I mean can you imagine him asking Elizabeth Bennett if she wanted a quick shag?”

      “I don’t believe that word was in common use during Jane Austen’s time!”

      I laughed at the thought of what would have happened if that dialogue had appeared in Pride and Prejudice. “Polly, you know what I mean. There seems to be very little romance and very little manners out there today. Personally all this equality for women is great, but it doesn’t mean that I don’t want a man to open doors for me or walk on the outside of the pavement or just act like a gentleman. I guess it cannot be that easy for men either as I am not sure they really know what is expected of them any more.”

      “Maybe it is up to us to educate them then?”

      “Now that would be a challenge and a whole new ballgame, excuse the pun. I think I will give it a miss for now but I will use it as a filter for my dating experiences!”

      Saying goodnight to Polly I contemplated my dates so far; they had all seemed to have potential but went rapidly downhill. Taking into account the fact that I had been filtering out the ones which I thought had been the complete no-hopers I had to accept that perhaps my methods of early elimination weren’t working out as well as I had hoped. In fact statistically they weren’t working out very well at all! Three dates and not a smidgen of romance in any of them. Looking on the bright side I reminded myself that three dates compared to the number of men out there was a very small sample and so making judgements at this stage was perhaps not very helpful.

      Instead I would see them all as a learning experience, rather like the early knockout rounds of a tennis competition. I knew that I was making my way slowly but surely to the final and that all I needed to do was keep focussed on what lay ahead.

      Chapter 5

      Date #4: Chris

      The next date was taken purely on the basis that I wanted to have a bit of fun and, being targeted by a 26 year old was rather flattering to put it lightly. Obviously I took a great deal of stick from my brother Patrick;

      “Well I suppose you are only just old enough to be his Mother!”

      “Oh how very funny. If the roles were reversed and you were dating some young thing everyone would be saying ‘Good for you, you lucky dog’ or whatever it is. Just look at people like Rod Stewart and Michael Douglas, no one bats an eyelid when they wed much younger women and go on to have kids with them. When it is Joan Collins however they all greet the news with disbelief or horror. Talk about double standards. Anyway I am just going to go out there and enjoy myself and see what happens”

      I wasn’t one hundred per cent sure that Chris was going to turn up to be honest. We had arranged the day and time and yet, when I confirmed on the day I didn’t get a response from him. I had arrived early and was parked outside the restaurant, not wanting to go in just in case he was going to stand me up and leave me sitting on my own looking a rather sad figure surrounded no doubt by every young couple within a ten mile radius just to run in my single status.

      I sent him another text but still nothing as the ticking of the clock on my dashboard seemed to get louder and louder as if it were counting down to a disappointing anti climax.

      I then noticed a man walking up and down the street looking a bit flustered and bearing more than a passing resemblance to the photograph I had seen on the website.

      I stepped out of the car and walked towards him. “Chris?” I said a little more hesitantly than I had intended and he spun around and smiled at me awkwardly.

      “Jen, hi” He took my hand and shook it enthusiastically. No limp handshake here, thank goodness. “I am so sorry, my mobile has died and so I haven’t been able to text you to confirm. I was half wondering if you would turn up and so have been walking around, not wanting to go in and sit on my own all evening.”

      He smiled again and it was really quite endearing; it had a boyish lop-sided quality about it and it made me want to take care of him. Good grief I was in danger of taking a motherly approach. I ordered myself to snap out of it immediately.

      Chris was dressed in dark green trousers with a stripey shirt, carefully chosen it would seem, to disguise the fact that it had probably not seen an iron since its purchase. However he looked pretty presentable and I noticed he had lovely clean fingernails, which is always a good thing. He had short light brown wavy hair, with blonde highlights that I concluded couldn’t be natural so he must be interested in his appearance. He was also discreetly sporting a fairly expensive watch. It was an interesting combination and one which I found quite appealing.

      As an extra bonus he didn’t seem to be looking at me with complete horror so I cannot have been looking that old! I thanked the cosmetic companies for introducing light reflecting technology into their make-up products, thus helping me to belie my years.

      I had wondered if he was coming out with me as some sort of bet with his mates and that they were in fact all hiding inside the restaurant ready to sit in judgement of my suitability. I was feeling more nervous than I had on any of my previous dates and I realised it was because I felt that there was more at stake here than there had been up to this point.

      He СКАЧАТЬ