Raising a Smile for Northern Ireland Children's Hospice. Brian Boone's Bailie

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СКАЧАТЬ like this could make you go blind.

      Can you find the awkward word

      Before your eyes get sore and blurred?

      The Vermeskin' Juddleflizzy by Blair

      Last Febrember mum did say;

      "I hope that you're not busy,

      'cause if you're not, go out and slay

      That vermeskin' Juddleflizzy."

      Fragoobleized, I flooped in shock

      And gippled in surprise.

      Puntunctiously I optilocked

      As I stazed into her eyes.

      "Grimblegroobers? Piece of cake!

      Greduffalonts; a breeze!

      I eat them both at breakfast

      With toast and melted cheese.

      But JUDDLEFLIZZIES?! Don't be daft!

      It'll have me morgandurgled!

      It'll crickle, spoitle, moich and splurt me

      Then have me oinklesplodged and churgled!"

      "Don't be lazy, glympy boy,

      And don't neglifft your chores.

      Besides, you ought to go outside;

      It's healthier outdoors."

      So like the fwippy lad I was

      I did as I was told.

      I was of course obedient

      At only eight years old.

      I clad myself with all my mungle

      And troofted through the town

      To the Jigadigoobley Jungle

      As the townsfolk vult me down.

      I tringed a path with schtoops and chops

      Seeking the devastructious beast

      But found only venzileripops

      And some snurking stripsnak trees.

      Within about six donkey's hours

      I lotused in a clearing.

      While sitting there in silence

      I sensed the schnipster nearing...

      BOOM-SHAKALAKA! CRRKDOOSH-CRACK! ROARRRRR!

      The horpetrifibubble Juddleflizzy had me pinned against the floor!

      The gharish, ghastly gnorpleschnak,

      The humunganormous puffle

      And I, with Kung-Fu valour

      Fought the skipple to kerfuffle!

      I was strimped across the undergrowth,

      He bore horns and spines and claws and sting

      And tusks and teeth,

      But I, I had not anything!

      It pounces flaring every frill!

      I swaked from underneath my kilt

      A Gnazourx axe with double hilt

      To have that Juddleflizzy killed!

      All within a microsecond

      I saw the Juddleflizzy's mug,

      The snoofy nuffler, then I reckoned,

      Would skwirk if it just got a hug.

      I dropped my axe and stretched my arms

      And muppled up the beast with love,

      Whispifying, slooked with charm,

      “No hard feelings, bruv.”

      Grimblegroobers? Piece of cake!

      Greduffalonts; that's easy!

      I share them both at breakfast

      With my pet Juddleflizzy.

      A Man of Letters by Brian

      “S N-E 1 N ?”

      “Who is it?”

      “L-X-&-R. I M N D L-F-8-R.”

      “Och, it’s great to see you again. Come on, on, on, on in.”

      “F U R B-C I-L 1 O-A”

      “No, I always have time for you, Alexander. Come in and look at these new beetles of mine.”

      “N-6? R U X-M-N-N N-6? I 8 N-6”

      “They’re just a bunch of harmless beetles. Come here and have a wee look.”

      “O I C”

      “Yes, aren’t they very interesting?”

      “O S”

      “I’ve been studying the blue beetle and the yellow beetle. Which beetle do you like?”

      “L-O. S, E S D 1 2 C”

      “Turn it over and look at all the little legs.”

      “O! X-L-N. L-O N-6, I C U.”

      “If you enjoy looking at these insects, maybe you’ll be interested in seeing my new pet?”

      “S. S. S. O I M N X-T-C.”

      “Calm down Alexander, if you get too excited you might scare it away. But you have to guess what it is first.”

      “I N O.”

      “Come on, guess.”

      “N-6?”

      “No. Bigger than СКАЧАТЬ