Letters of Not Lite. Dale Shaw
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Название: Letters of Not Lite

Автор: Dale Shaw

Издательство: HarperCollins

Жанр: Юмор: прочее

Серия:

isbn: 9780008117214

isbn:

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      Dr Schmidt

       Tweets from the 1965 Newport Folk Festival

       @pseeger

      Good morning. It’s a beautiful Sunday and we’ll have some great tunes from Blue Ridge Mountain Dancers, Cousin Emmy and Bobby Dylan #Newport65

       @Ginny

      Hey! Anyone got a spare ticket? Love Peter Paul & Mary! LOVE! Just gotta see them #PPMForever

       @BuddyBoi

      Got fucking mashed at Bikel’s gig last night. Threw up outside some dick’s tent! Psyched for Maybelle Carter. Already drinkin’ #Newport65

       @BeatBoy

      Heard a rumour The Weavers might do a surprise show. I’ll lose my shit if they show up. #Newport65

       @Jojo

      @BeatBoy Heard that too! Totally gonna happen! Fucking Weavers! #FuckingWeavers

       @Ginny

      Hey! Can someone get me backstage? I just gotta meet Peter Yarrow, he’s dreamy. #Newport65

       @KlownCar

      @Bodge Hey dude where you at? I’m in the acoustic tent.

       @Bodge

      @KlownCar They are all acoustic, dumbass.

       @Venereal

      Boo! Boo! Booooooooo! #DylanSux #Newport65

       @Rodlles

      My wife is in tears. As am I. #FolkisDead #DylanSux #Newport65

       @Bloodless

      His career is over. This is the last you’ll hear of Bob Dylan. #DylanSux

       @Fondo

      Appaz Seeger’s going crazy backstage with an axe! #Newport65

       @FineFolkFan

      @Fondo Good! He can cut these long hairs hair while he’s at it. #DylanSux #Newport65

       @Drestles

      Did you hear Paul Anka died? #AnkaRIP

       @LibbySez

      I quite like it #DylanDoesntSuck

       @NoSanta

      @LibbySez Women will never understand the intricacies of folk music. #DylanSux

       @CleftMallet

      Next year I’m going to stay at home and wait for the album to come out. #DylanSux

       @Magoo

      Thank Christ that’s over. #Newport65 #DylanSux

       @MelloTunez

      Think I’m going to puke #Newport65

       @MikeBloomfield

      Yeah! Fucking nailed it! See you next year Newport! #Newport65

       @Walington

      @MikeBloomfield Sir, if you mean the coffin of great folk music, then yes, you certainly did nail it.

       @pseeger

      Many apologies. Refunds will be available from the lady at the booth. #Newport65

       @pseeger

      And I did not have an axe! It was my lucky percussion hatchet.

       @Walt666

      That was the single most horrific thing that has or will ever happen at an American music festival. #DylanSux

       @Quango

      Wish it had been Dylan rather than the late great Paul Anka #AnkaRIP

       @Ginny

      @PeteYarrow Pete! Really sorry about that! Didn’t mean to get so crazy! Can you msg me? #SORRY!

       A note from Alexander Graham Bell’s business manager

      Dearest Alexander,

      Don’t feel downhearted. I know that interest and funding for your new device has been scant so far. But I am sure that once its attributes have been fully appreciated by open-minded people, then patronage will surely follow and it is bound to revolutionise the world of communications.

      I felt our meeting today was particularly trying. I had it on good authority that Mr Towne was interested in investing and I thought he would have been more impressed by our presentation. But it was obviously not to be and again our efforts were futile. With this in mind, I wonder if a different approach might be called for?

      I understand how disappointing it must be for you, enduring these continually fruitless meetings. But I did note today (and I think the estimable Mr Towne felt it also) that a distinct ennui overcame you when discussing the merits of the device.

      I’m not a man of fine words, Alexander, but let me attempt to explain myself. It seemed to me as if you were not really trying particularly hard when presenting our prospectus and were merely going through the motions, as it were, without due care or attention. Oh dear, I’m really not sure if I’m getting my point across adequately. I can’t quite seem to find the right expression for what I wish to impart.

      What I’m trying to say is I felt you were making a modicum of effort but were not fully invested in the pitching speech. It wasn’t the full-bodied approach I have previously seen you give, but rather a lifeless, ill-defined, subdued version of what I’ve witnessed. It was performed in something of a lacklustre manner, as if the results simply didn’t matter at all.

      How best to put this? Again, I feel my words fail me. Perhaps there is no phrase to perfectly describe exactly what I’m trying to say. But let us regroup before our next investor presentation and have a bit of a pep talk. Obviously, I believe wholeheartedly in СКАЧАТЬ