Friendship Fails of Emma Nash. Chloe Seager

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СКАЧАТЬ or an embarrassing poster from my misguided pre-teen years, i.e. the only wall remotely suitable for taking pictures of my designs against. And my laundry is now in the way.’

      Mum nodded. Finally, I seemed to have got through.

      ‘Yes, I think I’ve got a solution,’ she said.

      And she THREW MY SLOTH SLIPPERS OUT THE WINDOW.

      I repeat. MY SLOTH SLIPPERS.

      OUT. THE. WINDOW.

      ‘From now on you can do your own laundry,’ she said, leaving the room.

      Great, so now not only am I still miles away from Insta-fame, I’m also sloth-slipperless and I have to do laundry. Sometimes the divide between the life I’m leading and the life I should be leading only seems to get wider and wider.

       posted by EditingEmma 19.19

      Took loads of pictures, posted them, got some likes. Standard. I was at a loss for what to do again, so I lay on the floor. It was then I realized that I’d never seen the ceiling from this angle before. And there was a crack in it I’d never noticed. Amazing. Fascinating, when you really think about it. I’ve lived in this room for what, sixteen years, and never seen it? How many other secrets does my old, familiar bedroom hold?

       posted by EditingEmma 20.35

      Mum came back into my room. I was still picking up various objects and looking at them from different angles.

      ‘…Why are you staring at that coat hanger?’ she asked.

      ‘Ah.’ I held up a hand. ‘To the untrained eye it may seem as if I am merely staring at a coat hanger. But really, I’m unearthing all manner of astonishing hidden truths about the universe.’

      ‘All right, well, sorry to disturb your enlightenment, but have you read this?’ she asked, holding up some mail from college.

      ‘Uh, what do you think?’ I said, not looking away from my coat hanger.

      ‘It says they’re doing a fashion show this year.’

      ‘OK,’ I replied.

      Silence. She kept standing there.

      ‘Well?’ She tapped her foot. ‘Don’t you care? I thought you were focusing on your interests?’

      ‘I am.’

      ‘And I thought your interest was fashion?’

      ‘It is,’ I said. ‘But that doesn’t extend to giving up my free time to school. I’ve not had a brain transplant.’

      Mum sighed. ‘Look, love, I know you’re feeling a bit lost…’

      ‘I’m coping,’ I said.

      ‘Yes, so it would seem.’ She glanced at the coat hanger. ‘All I’m saying is, this might help.’ She waved the fashion show leaflet at me.

      I looked at it.

      ‘All right, I’ll think about it… Thanks.’

      She left and I put my coat hanger down. For some reason I felt like I might cry.

       posted by EditingEmma 22.37

       Quite Predictably, Watching PLL

      What’s wrong with me?! I usually love lying around re-watching Pretty Little Liars, but I just can’t get into it. I’m feeling really strange and unanchored. Mum’s right… I’m supposed to be focusing on my interests, but going through the same cycle of making clothes, photographing them and getting likes just doesn’t seem to be fulfilling me like it used to. I’m supposed to be focusing on my friendships, and all I’ve managed to do this holiday is photobomb Steph and her boyfriend, and spam my friends with pictures of me brushing my teeth.

      And I guess…I guess I have to admit to myself…what I’ve really been trying to avoid thinking about…is that maybe… just maaaaaybe… it’s because I don’t have very many friends?

      Aghhh. I don’t know… I’ve never been in this situation before, so it’s never really occurred. But it’s suddenly dawning on me just how few people I actually have in my life that I can call up and hang out with. How is it possible that just because Steph’s busy and Faith’s away, I have no one left?! Literally no one. How pathetic is that?! How do I only have two friends in the entire globe?! The entire globe of nearly eight billion people? TWO? Out of EIGHT BILLION?

      Is that normal??!!

      I’m Robinson Crusoe, sitting out on a tiny island all by myself. And no one’s coming to rescue me.

Wednesday, 5 November

       posted by EditingEmma 12.07

      PLL Inspiration

      This morning continued in much the same way as yesterday. I got up, designed some novelty socks, posted a picture, got bored, put on more PLL. All the while feeling pretty sorry for myself.

      It was then, watching a show I’ve seen so often I can genuinely mouth along with certain scenes, that I was hit with sudden inspiration. Right in the middle of watching the same suspects go round and round in and out of suspicion, I had a real, honest to God light-bulb moment. I felt like Thomas Edison himself, on the brink of a massive, life-changing discovery.

      I sat up. It suddenly dawned on me… Yes, my entire life is the same TV shows. The same few people. The same activities. But it doesn’t have to be.

      Obviously, I’m not going to stop watching PLL. But what I mean is, it suddenly occurred to me that focusing on my friendships doesn’t have to mean only pre-existing friendships. And focusing on my hobbies doesn’t have to mean just designing clothes when I feel like it.

      All that I’ve been doing…it’s not enough. If I’m really going to change my life then I need to go even further. Drastic times call for drastic measures.

      I know, I know, it’s not my first rodeo… But just because last term was a total disaster, doesn’t mean all my missions will go awry, right? Ladies and gentlemen… I think it’s officially time to begin work on some Brand. New. Resolutions.

       posted by EditingEmma 12.29

       New Resolutions

      ARE. YOU. READY.

      So, after A LOT of reflection on all the disasters from last term, I think I figured out partially where I went wrong. Stopping using the internet to torture/alienate myself and actually use it to connect was, in theory, a well-intentioned and worthy mission. However, I think limiting this only to ‘romantic’ connections was my main error… There are all kinds of connections a mere click away from me that are just waiting to be discovered!

      This СКАЧАТЬ