Название: The Yummy Mummy’s Family Handbook
Автор: Liz Fraser
Издательство: HarperCollins
Жанр: Секс и семейная психология
isbn: 9780007283248
isbn:
Sharing the Load: How about some help around here?!
June 2006, 8 p.m.
Sometimes I honestly believe that I am the only person in this house who is even vaguely aware of their surroundings. I swear, if I didn’t continuously go around like a neurotic hen, picking up, putting away, wiping, sweeping, adjusting, mending and improving this place, we would still live in a hideous, smelly dump of a place with 1970s carpets, embossed wallpaper and carpet in the kitchen! The worst thing is that I am made to feel that all of this house-improvement is solely for my own benefit, and that nobody else really minds living in a shit-hole. This is so unfair. Surely all my effort is making life for all of us more pleasant, and probably increasing the value of the house at the same time? A little appreciation and HELP really wouldn’t go amiss.
It’s astounding to me that, at the beginning of the twenty-first century, when we can fly to Mars, communicate with the other side of the world almost instantaneously, watch crap on over a hundred television channels and buy jeans to fit every imaginable shape of man, woman or child, the workload required to run a family home is still utterly unequally divided between the members of the family. On the home front, it’s as though we haven’t progressed since the Dark Ages—bar the better-fitting clothes, of course—and it’s something that brings out the raving feminist in me, even when my husband is being especially helpful.
Let me give you some examples from my dear, honest, wornout friends.
Sugie, photographer, mother of three and wife for eight years:
I do ninety per cent of the housework and homemaker stuff. When I didn’t work I didn’t mind—it made sense. But I now have a part-time job AND the kids to manage, and I still do all the shopping, cooking, cleaning and school stuff. I sometimes wonder if I’m being taken for granted, or if I’m just being a wimp.
Julie, data analyst, mother of four and wife for twelve years:
I wish I’d set out some different rules at the start, but I just did it the way my parents did: I do all the housework and my husband does all the admin. I know he’s doing his bit but I do feel I do a lot more than him, because the housework never, ever stops. If I say so he just says I’m being over-sensitive and that I don’t really have to do so much—but I do!
Julia, community nurse, mother of two and wife for six years:
David does nothing to help around the house. He gets home very late from work most nights and at the weekend he likes to spend time with the children or play golf. The problem is, I work too, and I’d like to spend time with the kids or do some exercise as well. But somebody has to cook the food and clean the house, and it’s always me. I don’t want to nag so I get on with it—I don’t want arguments.
And now a few words from some brave, honest men:
John, software developer, father of two, married for five years:
I work long hours so I can’t really cook because the kids are fed when I get home. And I love cooking too! I don’t do much housework because it’s often taken care of while I’m at work, but I think I could do more at the weekend, like go to Tesco or do some washing.
Peter, scientist, father of three, married ten years:
I hate housework. I work so hard all week that I need to relax and unwind when I leave the lab. Anyway, I don’t mind if the house isn’t perfectly clean—it’s my wife who likes it that way, not me.