Plays: Lady Frederick, The Explorer, A Man of Honour. Maugham William Somerset

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СКАЧАТЬ a devil of a fuss, won't she?

Lady Frederick

      Oh, no; I shall be quite nice to her.

Fouldes

      I daresay. But won't she be very disagreeable to you?

Lady Frederick

      You don't know what a way I have with my creditors.

Fouldes

      I know it's not a paying way.

Lady Frederick

      Isn't it? I bet you a hundred louis that I offer her the money and she refuses it.

Fouldes

      I'll take that.

Lady Frederick

      Here she is.

[Madame Claude enters, ushered in by the Servant. She is a stout, genteel person, very splendidly gowned, with a Cockney accent. Her face is set to sternness, decision to make a scene, and general sourness.Servant

      Madame Claude.

[Exit Servant. Lady Frederick goes up to her enthusiastically and takes both her hands.Lady Frederick

      Best of women. This is a joyful surprise.

Madame Claude

      [Drawing herself up.] I 'eard quite by chance that your ladyship was at Monte.

Lady Frederick

      So you came to see me at once. That was nice of you. You're the very person I wanted to see.

Madame Claude

      [Significantly.] I'm glad of that, my lady, I must confess.

Lady Frederick

      You dear creature. That's one advantage of Monte Carlo, one meets all one's friends. Do you know Mr. Fouldes? This is Madame Claude, an artist, my dear Paradine, a real artist.

Madame Claude

      [Grimly.] I'm pleased that your ladyship should think so.

Fouldes

      How d'you do.

Lady Frederick

      Now, this gown. Look, look, look. In this skirt there's genius, mon cher. In the way it hangs my whole character is expressed. Observe the fullness of it, that indicates those admirable virtues which make me an ornament to Society, while the frill at the bottom just suggests those foibles – you can hardly call them faults – which add a certain grace and interest to my personality. And the flounce. Paradine, I beseech you to look at it carefully. I would sooner have designed this flounce than won the Battle of Waterloo.

Madame Claude

      Your ladyship is very kind.

Lady Frederick

      Not at all, not at all. You remember that rose chiffon. I wore it the other day, and the dear Archduchess came up to me and said: "My dear, my dear." I thought she was going to have a fit. But when she recovered she kissed me on both cheeks and said: "Lady Frederick, you have a dressmaker worth her weight in gold." You heard her, Paradine, didn't you?

Fouldes

      You forget that I only arrived last night.

Lady Frederick

      Of course. How stupid of me. She'll be perfectly delighted to hear that you're in Monte Carlo. But I shall have to break it to her gently.

Madame Claude

      [Unmoved.] I'm sorry to intrude upon your ladyship.

Lady Frederick

      Now what are you talking about? If you hadn't come to see me I should never have forgiven you.

Madame Claude

      I wanted to have a little talk with your ladyship.

Lady Frederick

      Oh, but I hope we shall have many little talks. Have you brought your motor down?

Madame Claude

      Yes.

Lady Frederick

      That's charming. You shall take me for a drive in it every day. I hope you're going to stay some time.

Madame Claude

      That depends on circumstances, Lady Frederick. I 'ave a little business to do here.

Lady Frederick

      Then let me give you one warning – don't gamble.

Madame Claude

      Oh, no, my lady. I gamble quite enough in my business as it is. I never know when my customers will pay their bills – if ever.

Lady Frederick

      [Slightly taken aback.] Ha, ha, ha.

Fouldes

      [With a deep guffaw.] Ho, ho, ho.

Lady Frederick

      Isn't she clever? I must tell that to the Archduchess. She'll be so amused. Ha, ha, ha, ha. The dear Archduchess, you know she loves a little joke. You must really meet her. Will you come and lunch? I know you'd hit it off together.

Madame Claude

      [More genially.] That's very kind of your ladyship.

Lady Frederick

      My dear, you know perfectly well that I've always looked upon you as one of my best friends. Now who shall we have? There's you and me and the Archduchess. Then I'll ask Lord Mereston.

Madame Claude

      The Marquess of Mereston, Lady Frederick?

Lady Frederick

      Yes. And Mr. Fouldes, his uncle.

Madame Claude

      Excuse me, are you the Mr. Paradine Fouldes?

Fouldes

      [Bowing.] At your service, madam.

Madame Claude

      I'm so glad to make your acquaintance, Mr. Fouldes. [Unctuously.] I've always heard you're such a bad man.

Fouldes

      Madam, you overwhelm me with confusion.

Madame Claude

      Believe me, Mr. Fouldes, it's not the ladies that are married to saints who take the trouble to dress well.

Lady Frederick

      Now we want a third man. Shall we ask my brother – you know Sir Gerald O'Mara, don't you? Or shall we ask Prince Doniani? Yes, I think we'll ask the Prince. I'm sure you'd like him. Such a handsome man! That'll make six.

Madame Claude

      It's very kind of you, Lady Frederick, but – well, I'm only a tradeswoman, you know.

Lady Frederick

      A tradeswoman? How can you talk such nonsense. You are an artist – a real artist, my dear. And an artist is fit to meet a king.

Madame Claude

      Well, I don't deny that I'd be ashamed to dress my customers in the gowns I see painted at the Royal Academy.

Lady Frederick

      Then it's quite settled, isn't it, Madame Claude – oh, may I call you Ada?

Madame Claude

      Oh, Lady Frederick, I should be very much flattered. But how did you know that was my name?

Lady Frederick

      Why you wrote me a letter only the other day.

Madame Claude

      Did I?

Lady Frederick

      And such a cross letter too.

Madame Claude

      [Apologetically.] СКАЧАТЬ