Fragile Paradise. Liliia Urazgulova

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СКАЧАТЬ slowly descended. They heard the pruning shears working and realized Vanessa was busy. When she was busy with her roses, she became so lost in herself that the world around her ceased to exist, there were only roses and her. And time passed very unnoticed. This time she was again in her thoughts and did not hear her husband and daughter approach her.

      “Mom,” she looked back at the call and met Louis’ gaze, and for the first time in many years of their married life she did not look away under the weight of her husband’s gaze. The strained relationship between the parents did not in any way affect their attitude towards their daughter.

      “You were late in the office,” Vanessa said displeasedly to both of them. Louis could not stand it when she showed displeasure.

      “We were discussing business, and Olivia has news that she wants to tell herself.”

      The daughter stood impatiently and shifted from foot to foot. Louis, seeing this, said:

      – Speak already.

      – Mother! – Olivia’s tone was joyful, but Vanessa was not happy about it, “Dad decided to help me, I will have my own business and my own home, can you imagine?!

      However, seeing her mother’s sad look, Olivia stopped her fiery speech. Vanessa’s look was a reproach for her husband, who made it clear that she was not enthusiastic about this idea. There was a silent question in her eyes: “How could you? How could you do this to me?”

      “Vanessa,” Louis wanted to explain to her the reason for this decision.

      He took her hand, which he rarely did in ordinary life and often at receptions and celebrations.

      – Let’s go to the gazebo and talk there. Olivia go inside, we need to talk in private.

      Olivia nodded obediently and walked down the path towards the house. Having reached the house, she wrapped herself in a blanket and climbed onto a chair with her feet up, looking at the fire blazing in the fireplace and reading a book. She knew that her parents’ conversation would be long.

      Left alone, Louis and Vanessa went into the gazebo and sat on a bench. Olivia’s father understood the seriousness of the situation and nevertheless his face remained calm and impartial, but in his soul the devils lit a fire that blazed with emotions. They were silent for a long time, looking straight ahead, and no one dared to start speaking. Louis perfectly understood Vanessa’s condition; he himself was a little uncomfortable because he supported his daughter in such a bold desire to start her own independent life away from her parents. He knew that accepting their decision would be a difficult ordeal for Olivia’s mother. Although she was never particularly close to her daughter, she did not know her experiences and desires. The feeling of motherhood awakened in her only after the birth of the second child in their family. She didn’t know how to behave with her first child, didn’t understand what to do with him. She gave all her love to her second daughter. Olivia had a sister she preferred not to talk about. Even my sister’s name was similar to her mother’s name, Inessa.

      Finally the wife spoke.

      “Louis,” she began this difficult conversation in a trembling whisper, which made her husband sad, “you understand how hard it is for me to realize that our daughter decided to start an independent life, and you decided to help her in this desire.”

      – Apparently I should have refused her? – Louis answered in a cold tone and looked at his wife with anger. Not understanding why she is so reluctant to let her eldest daughter live an independent life, while the youngest has been in another country for a long time.

      – I understand her desire to live separately from us, but she is still a child.

      – You know her character very well, she is stubborn beyond belief and if I refuse to help her, it will be a tragedy, and besides, Inessa has been living in England for a long time.

      – Okay, let it be your way, but I ask you, find a way to watch her.

      – I’ll find it. Now let’s go have dinner, everyone is already hungry,” the husband got up from the bench to go home, but Vanessa grabbed his hand and said:

      – Wait!

      Louis looked back and realized that this was not the end of the conversation.

      – Do you want to add anything to our conversation about Olivia’s move? – he looked at Vanessa and saw in her eyes the deep pain of despair and tears that flowed down her cheeks.

      – No, I want to talk about you and me. How will we live now? After all, since our wedding, our relationship has changed a lot and not for the better. I’ve been worried about this for a very long time, but I couldn’t find the moment to talk about it with you. You act like we’re fine, everything’s fine. But obviously this is not the case. We should have talked about this earlier, I don’t understand why I was silent for so long. I think you should think about this. Perhaps what I say will seem stupid and insignificant to you.

      Louis looked at his wife in surprise, expecting that the conversation would end there, but he was mistaken. Vanessa continued her monologue.

      – You don’t think I’m the smartest woman, I know, don’t deny the obvious. You never once reproached me for not working a day, and I wasn’t involved in raising Olivia either; I was constantly traveling after her birth. In these travels, I didn’t notice how one day was like another, I didn’t know what routine was in marriage, I didn’t understand women who said that marriage was strangling them. No one was holding me back, I was free to do whatever I wanted. Even after Olivia was born, I couldn’t stand three months at home with the baby and flew off on another trip. And when I returned, my daughter didn’t even want to come into my arms. Would a normal loving mother do this to her child? I think no. It’s hard for me to say this, but it’s like she’s a stranger to me, as if she’s not my child. I still don’t understand her, I don’t know what she is like. “I’m a bad mother for her,” Vanessa concluded her monologue with these words.

      Louis was shocked by such words and thoughts, which she had obviously been carrying within herself for a long time. He did not understand how all these years he could not notice such different attitudes towards Olivia and Inessa. And it’s true that there was coldness towards the first from her very birth, while she practically never parted with the second until the moment Inessa left for England.

      – Vanessa! Stop! Stop saying such terrible words. I know that you are not on the closest and best terms with Olivia, but I have never heard her complain about the lack of attention on your part,” saying this, he hoped that his wife’s confession would end there. At her husband’s words, Vanessa only smiled a bitter smile.

      “She doesn’t say anything only because she doesn’t know a good mother, better than me.” But I think that with the appearance of Inessa, she felt the difference,” she continued her monologue, looking into the twilight approaching night, and not only in nature. It was as if she had not heard what Louis had told her before. This angered him and he stopped her speech in a rather rude manner.

      – Vanessa! Shut up! – he almost shouted to silence her. But her reaction was rather strange, she looked at him with an incomprehensible gaze, as if she had not heard his scream.

      “You’re not listening to me,” she continued in an offended tone. This completely drove him crazy, probably for the first time СКАЧАТЬ