Fragile Paradise. Liliia Urazgulova

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СКАЧАТЬ let’s get straight to the point,” he put the cube aside and looked attentively at his wife.

      “I disturbed you at this time because,” she nervously twirled her wedding ring on her finger, “I came to tell you that I was expecting a child.”

      There was silence in the room for several minutes; Vanessa could not understand her husband’s reaction to this, at first glance, unexpected news. After another minute, Louis spoke:

      – I suspected this, judging by your behavior at the table today. From your affectionate glances at Olivia, it was as if you were trying to remember something you didn’t have. Have you ever imagined what it would be like to be a mother?

      – You knew? – she thought, not realizing that it was so noticeable to others, and it was obvious to Louis, with his ability to unravel other people’s intentions and secrets, – but why didn’t he say it himself? You were waiting for me to give you this news, but why?

      – Because I knew this even before you left for the Cote d’Azur. You wouldn’t have left if you knew that. I hoped that once you found out, you would come back, and that’s what happened. I hope this child will be happier and will not be abandoned by you as soon as he is born. Because you see how Olivia is growing. She is not attached to any of us. This worries me, but apparently you are not very worried. But no matter how much it pains me to look at my unhappy child, it’s beyond my strength to even talk to her about it. And I think that this will come back to haunt us in the future. Nothing just happens and goes unnoticed. Remember my words, when it gets hard, naturally, morally, because you have no other worries, and it’s unlikely that you will ever be puzzled by how to earn a piece of bread. I think our conversation is over, for me for sure, and it’s time for you to go to bed.

      Vanessa was shocked by her husband’s words, and she didn’t even have the words to answer him. She wished him good night and left the office.

      “Good night,” she said as kindly as possible as she left. Going up to her room, she drank the chamomile tea that Louise had carefully left on the bedside table. Then I took a warm bath and changed into a shirt. I turned off the light in the room and went to bed, but sleep did not come. She could not forget the words her husband said. Vanessa got out of bed and, throwing on a robe, went downstairs to the kitchen. There she found Louise preparing a curd mixture for a casserole. Seeing the hostess, she smiled and invited her to sit down.

      – Can’t you sleep?

      – Yes, I can’t sleep, please pour me a glass of water. The conversation with my husband was difficult.

      “You can’t sleep because Monsieur said all sorts of things to you.” He is always busy with business, always goes to bed late, hardly communicates with anyone except his beloved Olivia. He loves her very much, although he doesn’t show it. It’s hard for a little girl alone, with only a nanny. If she had a brother or sister, she would probably have more fun.

      – Do you really think so, Louise? – in Vanessa’s voice one could hear doubts and at the same time hope that Olivia would really be better off if there was another child in their family. She saw in her short visits home that her daughter was growing up unsociable and unsociable, almost alone all the time, not counting the nanny and Louise. Her heart should have squeezed in pain, but it was stubbornly silent. But at the thought that another child was living inside her, her heart began to beat joyfully, which made her soul feel warmer, because she was still able to feel maternal feelings.

      – Yes, I think it will be so, it should be so. Although time will still pass until that moment, and during this time a completely different feeling may settle in her little heart,” Louise looked somewhere into the distance while saying this. Vanessa did not understand where the housekeeper was leading the conversation and decided to ask directly:

      – What other feeling can she have? – She continued to look at Louise with an uncomprehending look.

      – Feelings of hatred towards an unborn child.

      This phrase pulled the rug out from under Vanessa’s feet.

      – How is this possible? Louise, you’re talking about a little girl. She still knows nothing about life, about the world, about people. She can’t be that cruel.

      Louise said a phrase that made Vanessa feel dizzy.

      – Well, it can. And I’ll even say more, she has the right to this, although she does not understand everything that happens between adults. You yourself must understand this. You don’t know her. Children are sometimes very observant and become cruel because they feel more in their hearts than adults. As you know, everything that is laid down in childhood stays with a person for life.

      – You’re right, I don’t know her at all. I’m not even trying to find out. And it’s probably too late to do this, she believes more in her father than in me,” Vanessa sadly concluded.

      – It’s time for you to go to bed, you’ve had enough shocks for today. Come on, I’ll take you with you.

      – You take such good care of me Louise, thank you.

      – You forget that I have been living with you for quite a long time and am used to taking care of you and your family.

      They went upstairs and Vanessa saw her husband coming out of Olivia’s room. She approached him to find out how she was. Louis was surprised that his wife was still awake.

      – You need sleep and peace now, why aren’t you in bed yet?

      – I couldn’t sleep, how was she?

      – It’s already good, I fell asleep, and you go. I’ll be gone all day tomorrow, I have business in Paris.

      – Okay, maybe I’ll take her for a walk if she wants it. I don’t even know what she likes.

      “Good night,” Louis gently hugged his wife and went to his room, and Vanessa went to hers.

      All the time she spent with her father as a child remains indelibly in her memory. Memories of her mother were etched into her memory by a fragment of a crystal vase, which, apart from pain and over the years of hatred, brought nothing, as soon as someone around her started talking about Vanessa, a picture appeared before her eyes, which she observed as a child suffering from lack of maternal love and affection. People often told Louis that when they looked into the eyes of little Olivia, they saw the suffering of an adult. Even when she laughed and was joyful, the look of green eyes bordered by thick and fluffy eyelashes evoked an awkward feeling in those around her that they could not experience their losses like this seemingly careless and needy child. That morning, after breakfast, Olivia went up to her room to read a new book that her father had brought her from Paris. Inessa and Olivia’s rooms were located on opposite sides of the house; the mother converted the guest room into a nursery, as long as Inessa was nearby. Having entered her room, she was about to sit down and read, but she heard voices in the garden, and she decided to see who was having such a joyful time there; Inessa’s laughter was heard, which was quite rare for Olivia. They played. It was not a surprise to her that her mother loved her second, and it was a shame that no one except Olivia herself saw this. Even the father did not know everything that was happening. Tears welled up in her eyes, making them look like lakes after rain, when she saw her mother take Inessa in her arms, press her and kiss her. So much tenderness, so much love and СКАЧАТЬ