Sex For Dummies. Dr. Ruth K. Westheimer

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      Illustration by Kathryn Born

      FIGURE 2-3: The penis on the right is uncircumcised, while the one shown on the left is circumcised.

      Small glands underneath the foreskin secrete an oily, lubricating substance. If these secretions accumulate and mix with dead skin cells, a cottage cheese–like substance called smegma forms. In an uncircumcised man, this smegma can build up and lead to infections and, sometimes, even more serious diseases. An uncircumcised man should always take special precautions when bathing to pull back the foreskin and clean carefully around the glans.

      Circumcision and sexual performance

      Because the skin of the glans of a circumcised male grows tougher and less sensitive than that of an uncircumcised male, people often wonder whether circumcision affects sexual performance.

      Some men who aren’t circumcised erroneously believe that, because their skin is more sensitive, they are more likely to have premature ejaculation. I’ve even been asked by adult men if they should be circumcised to cure them of this problem. (Because premature ejaculation is a learned behavior that you can overcome — see Chapter 22 — I don’t recommend having this surgery performed later in life.)

      Size and sexual performance

      Of course, when considering the penis, what concerns a great many men the most is the size of their sexual organ; they focus on the length and width of the shaft, the main portion of the penis. They think that bigger is better.

Because men are more likely to get turned on by what they see, physical appearance is very important to them. That’s why men are so concerned about penis size — just as some are concerned about the size of women’s breasts. To men, the more there is of a body part that attracts them, the better. (Sadly, thighs, which all women seem able to enlarge with ease, no longer fall into this category. Where is Rubens, who painted such magnificent, voluptuous nude women, when we need him?) And, of course, seeing the male stars of porno videos doesn’t help either because these men aren’t picked for their ability to act, but rather to inflate.

      Now, if men asked women how they feel about penis size, they’d get another story. Some women are actually frightened by very big penises, and many women just don’t attach very much importance to the issue. But these men who are all hung up about the size of their penises can’t seem to get that straight — and, convincing them otherwise is a difficult job.

      MEASURING UP

      You can measure a penis in several different ways, and a man usually chooses the method that makes his penis seem the biggest. Although the basic penis measurements are length and circumference, the mood of your penis at the moment you pull out that tape measure is a key factor.

      Even if two flaccid penises look about the same size, they may be very different in size when they become erect. (And a man may have different-sized erections depending on how aroused he is.) In the locker room, the man with the biggest flaccid penis feels the most cocky; but the real proving ground is in the bedroom.

      One of the reasons that a man may think his penis is too small is the way he looks at it. (And no, I’m not going to suggest that he put on rose-colored glasses.) Most of the time, he looks down at his penis, and when he does, his eyes play a trick on him called foreshortening, which makes his penis looks smaller than it appears to someone else looking at it. To see his penis the way his partner does, all he has to do is stand in front of a full-length mirror and take in that view — I think he’ll be surprised. If he takes a look both before and after he has an erection, I’m sure his ego will get a nice boost.

      Although you can’t deny that men have different-sized penises, does the size of the penis make any difference where it really counts — inside the woman’s vagina? In most cases, the answer is a very big no.

      The vagina is elastic; it has to be to allow babies to be born vaginally. So a woman’s vagina can accommodate a big or a small penis. Because most of a woman’s nerve endings are concentrated at the entrance to the vagina, the sensations that a bigger penis may cause aren’t all that different to her from those caused by a smaller penis.

Obviously, if a man has a minuscule penis, a woman may not feel it very much, which is a slight problem. But, as Chapter 12 explains, most women need direct clitoral stimulation to achieve an orgasm. Because no penis can do that trick while performing intercourse, the issue of size becomes even less important.