Amelia Fang and the Naughty Caticorns. Laura Ellen Anderson
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Название: Amelia Fang and the Naughty Caticorns
Автор: Laura Ellen Anderson
Издательство: HarperCollins
Жанр: Природа и животные
Серия: The Amelia Fang Series
isbn: 9781405297097
isbn:
‘I’ll get it!’ said Amelia, very excited at the thought of meeting her aunt’s little caticorns. Florence and Grimaldi followed, eager to meet the new guests, with Squashy pa-doinging along close behind.
Amelia pulled open the heavy wooden front door. ‘Hi, Aunt Lavitora!’
‘DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARKLING!’ Aunt Lavitora’s shrill voice resonated through the house like nails scraping along a chalkboard.
Wearing a high-collared gothic dress with frills in places you’d never imagine, Aunt Lavitora strutted into the entrance hall carrying a large suitcase in one gloved hand and a bunch of withered roses in the other. She looked like a version of Countess Frivoleeta who had been stretched widthways. A messenger crow with a top hat and a monocle perched on her shoulder.
‘Amelia Fang!’ Aunt Lavitora oozed. ‘You were just a disgusting wrinkly little thing last time I saw you!’ Then she called over her shoulder, ‘Come on in, my little floofs!’
Amelia’s eyes widened as three caticorns with fluffy fur and shiny little horns trailed through the door. Amelia squealed in excitement. As they stood in a neat row, smiling sweetly, she thought that they were the most adorable creatures she’d ever set eyes upon (aside from Squashy of course!). Looking after them was going to be such a treat.
‘Amelia, darkling,’ said Aunt Lavitora. ‘Meet Gerrard, Butler and Mo.’
Gerrard, who was wearing a small, frilly collar, twirled on the spot. Butler tapped a little tune with his claws and pinged the bow around his neck, and Mo – who was wearing a cute knitted jumper – adjusted her glasses before drawing an imaginary heart in the air with her paws.
Amelia thought her cold vampiric heart might just explode with love.
‘Hi, Gerrard. Hi, Butler. Hi, Mo!’ she said to each caticorn in turn. ‘I’m Amelia! And this is my pet pumpkin Squashy, and my best friends, Florence and Grimaldi.’
‘ALWITE, VERY SMALL CATS!’ said Florence with a wave. ‘OR DO YOU PREFER TO BE CALLED UNICORNS? OR UNICATS?’ She scratched her head. ‘THIS IS COMPLICATED.’
‘They’re caticorns, dear!’ declared Aunt Lavitora. Then she leaned in and dabbed Florence’s nose with one finger. ‘And what a delightful beast you are!’ she cooed.
Amelia put her head in her hands. Uh oh, she thought.
Florence straightened up and puffed out her chest.
‘I AM NOT A BEAST!’ she said loudly.
The caticorns whimpered. Florence spotted this and said as quietly as she could muster (which was still very loud indeed), ‘I’M A RARE BREED OF YETI!’
Then she bent down and patted the caticorns in turn. ‘SORRY, TINY UNICORN KITTIES, IT’S SUMFIN’ I SIMPLY ’AVE TO DO WHENEVER ANYONE SAYS THAT B-WORD.’
Aunt Lavitora stood in shocked silence. Amelia tried not to laugh.
‘Hellooooo, Gerrard, Butler and Mo! It’s very nice to meet you!’ said Grimaldi, trying to ease the tension. He waved his scythe around, narrowly missing Gerrard’s horn. The caticorns yelped and hid behind Lavitora’s skirt. ‘Oops, sorry about that!’ said Grimaldi, looking embarrassed. He put the scythe behind his back.
‘Now, now,’ said Lavitora, ushering the caticorns out from behind her. ‘Don’t be silly. Let’s show Amelia, the rare breed and Gary-Mouldy just how brave and brilliant you are.’
Florence narrowed her eyes. Grimaldi blushed.
Lavitora straightened Mo’s glasses, before addressing Amelia. ‘I literally JUST picked up my little darklings from Batwings Boarding School for the Bright and Beaming !’ she said. ‘Best school in the Kingdoms of the Dark and the Light, you know! They’re taught how to be polite and proper little creatures there, so I’m sure they’ll be very well behaved for you.’
Aunt Lavorita leaned forward so that the smell of her rotten raspberry perfume filled Amelia’s nostrils. ‘Here’s a suitcase full of gifts to keep them happy. There should be enough to amuse my precious little floofs for the whole night! I shall be back by moonset.’
She shoved the large suitcase into Amelia’s arms, then turned to her crow and said, ‘Monroe, did Professor McShady reply to my message about the cloud complex?’
Gerrard tugged on Aunt Lavitora’s skirt. ‘Mew,’ he said.
‘In a moment, darkling,’ said Aunt Lavitora, waving a hand at the little caticorn.
‘SQUAAAAAAAAAWK!’ replied the crow.
‘Thank you, Monroe,’ said Lavitora. Then she looked at Amelia and smiled. ‘Sorry about that. Being the boss of Manors and Morgues just takes up ALL of my time. Especially when the wealthiest leprechaun in the Kingdom of the Light wants to talk about building a new cloud complex in Glitteropolis! I am just sooooooo busy!’
Amelia couldn’t think of anything more boring than building a cloud complex. ‘I’d really like to be a pumpkinologist when I grow up,’ she said proudly.
Aunt Lavitora burst out laughing. ‘You strange little thing! You don’t want to do a grubby job like that!’
Amelia frowned and was about to respond crossly when her mother shuffled into the entrance hall.
‘Sister!’ called Countess Frivoleeta. She greeted Aunt Lavitora with a floaty kiss on both cheeks. ‘So awful to see you! ’
‘It’s been TOO LONG, Frivvy!’ said Aunt Lavitora.
‘Only ten years,’ mumbled Count Drake.
Countess Frivoleeta stamped on his toe.
Lavitora held out the bunch of withering roses to her sister. ‘Here! ’ she said.
Countess Frivoleeta looked surprised. ‘Oh! You shouldn’t have!’ she said as a dead petal fell gently to the floor.
Aunt Lavitora chuckled. ‘Oh, I didn’t!’ she said. ‘These are for ME. I just need you to hold them whilst I pull up my very expensive СКАЧАТЬ