A Smart Girl's Guide: Drama, Rumors & Secrets. Nancy Holyoke

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       tears and fears

       I hate puberty! I’ve got so many emotions and I can’t control them. I feel like my world is falling apart. Help! —Kidnapped by Puberty

      You’re not alone! Most people feel torn up by emotions during puberty,

       and science says there’s a very good reason for that.

      In puberty, a girl’s body produces chemicals called hormones. These hormones create physical changes that are easy to see. What you don’t see is that those same hormones are also at work on your emotions. The structure of your brain is changing. The way your nervous system works is changing. It’s not as obvious as getting taller and curvier, but it’s every bit as real.

      Those big, new emotions can get pretty confused by your physical

       changes. Chances are, you’ve never been so aware of your body in your

       entire life—or so worried about how others see you. You compare your-

       self with your friends. You may compare yourself with models and movie

       stars. Lots of girls become their own worst critics.

      Getting ready in the morning used to take you five minutes. Now your

       dad has to knock on the bathroom door to get you away from the mirror.

       You may have days when you walk around all day afraid of the moment

       someone points a finger at a flaw you’re trying to hide. School feels

       different. You don’t want to stick out. You try hard not to make mistakes

       and to save face when you do.

      Along the way, you may start feeling like “you” is just a part you’re playing.

       You’re changing so fast. Who can tell who you are anymore, anyway?

       experiments

      Who are you? How do you fit in? Who do you want to be? Now that

       your body is reinventing itself, you may think it’s a great chance to

       reinvent yourself in other ways, too.

      In some ways, it’s all a big experiment. Does this shirt seem like you?

       What music do you want to hear? Do you really want to move up in

       soccer, or would you rather switch it up and play more tennis? A few

       years ago, your parents would have made a lot of these decisions.

       Now they’re up to you.

      You can also try on some of those strange feelings knocking around

       inside your chest and see how they fit. What’s it like to get mad?

       What’s it like to be romantic? How does it feel to cry? Just what are

       all these different feelings really about?

      Of course, everyone around you is struggling with the same feelings

       and changes that you are. Friendships are shifting constantly, and

       you’re all keeping track of the results.

      Is Chloe getting popular? Is Maddy going Goth? Is Leah sitting with

       the nerds? And what about you? Do you want to hang out with your

       new pals from band or the friends you’ve had since second grade? Do

       you feel closer to Maria or to Lamae? And does Lamae feel closer to

       you or to Josie?

      School is harder. Activities are intense. And your parents aren’t around

       the way they used to be to protect and guide you.

      Put it in a pot and turn the heat on high. What do you get?

       the problem

       with drama

       The drama between Zoey and Trinity has been going three days straight. It’s a full-time job keeping up. You finally managed to settle in to work on your presentation, but every time you get an idea, another text pings in.

      Drama is crisis. It asks all you can give and then some. You get less

       sleep at night and less done during the day, and the emotional

       ups and downs are exhausting. You could be learning to dance,

       working at a soup kitchen, or biking around the lake. Instead

       you’re caught up in a drama that you can’t really do much about

       and that doesn’t directly involve you.

       Bottom line: Drama can eat up your life.

       Yesterday you told Jaycee your secret. Now she’s told it to Taylor. Jaycee is evil. She’s ruined your whole life.

      When you’re in a drama, you’re so full of feelings—betrayal,

       fury, fear, sadness—that the world seems black and white.

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