Roots of Empathy. Mary Gordon

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СКАЧАТЬ take the perspective of another, understand the power for resolving conflict that lies in being able to see a situation and the world from another person’s viewpoint. I was convinced that the transformative potential of such a program was enormous. I had no doubt that it had the power to increase the emotional competence, the collaborative skills and the parenting capacity of a whole generation, child by child, classroom by classroom, community by community.

      Many initiatives have been tried in schools to give children exposure to the role of being a parent. Children are given a plastic doll to care for, or eggs that they have to carry with them and look after. The aim of such programs is to recreate orimitate aspects of the parenting experience. What Roots of Empathy does is give children the experience directly, including interaction with a real baby in that baby’s first year of life. Our program goes deeper still—as I cannot say too often—in that it fosters the development of empathy in the students, and this is a core component of successful parenting.

      All babies are powerful teachers. One of our instructors said that her first meeting with the Grade 7/8 class to which she was assigned was very intimidating and the class was quite unruly. She was nervous about the family visit, especially because one of the boys, who was coping with behavioural challenges, had said he would tell the baby that he was ugly and stupid. As soon as the mother and baby walked through the door, though, the students were mesmerized and participated positively and enthusiastically. In fact, the boy who had spoken so negatively at the earlier session was, at the end of the class, the first one to head over to the baby and ask if he could hold him. And the mother who brought her baby to that first class could hardly wait to come back the following month to show how he had grown and the new skills he had learned.

       Choosing a Roots of Empathy Baby

      When we work with a community interested in bringing a Roots of Empathy program to their local school, those included in the planning are not just school board staff and parents; public health nurses, youth workers or volunteers from local service organizations often play a role. These are the people who are involved in and know the community; they know which family has just welcomed a new arrival. Our advice on recruiting a Roots of Empathy family is geared towards ensuring the richest experience for the students. This means finding parents who are enthusiastic about what Roots of Empathy offers to children, are willing to share with them the important first year of their baby’s life, and can commit to a regular schedule of classroom visits. We look for families who live in the school neighbourhood, and who represent its diversity. We are not looking for “super babies” or “Gucci moms.” Borrowing from Bruno Bettelheim, I say, “We are looking for the ‘good-enough parent.’”⁴

      Roots of Empathy babies are between two and four months old at the beginning of the program. Bringing the baby into the classroom as early in his life as possible allows for a greater range of infant development stages over the year and optimizes the learning opportunities for the students. Our emphasis on bringing a baby from the school’s neighbourhood has the added benefit of connecting a new family with the school. This helps to strengthen the sense of community between families and schools and also makes it more likely that the Roots of Empathy family reflects the cultural makeup of the school. When babies are from one of a number of a school’s cultural groups, the good feelings and connections that develop between the children and “their” baby inevitably spill over into a stronger sense of inclusiveness within the community. We encourage families where the father can come for visits as well as, or instead of, the mother; this can provide a sorely needed perspective in classrooms where children have little or no experience with a male in a nurturing role. We have had single parent families both mother-led and, occasionally, father-led.

      In one of our kindergarten classes, baby Tama visited each month with his mother, and on a number of occasions his father was able to join them. Their reflections on the experience reveal the exchange of learning that occurred. Tama’s mother, Theresa, who is of Maori heritage, sang Maori lullabies in the classroom and was impressed with the intense involvement of children who were five years old. She commented that “The children were genuinely interested in what Tama could or could not achieve so it was very easy to answer their questions. We were surprised at the maturity the children displayed and the words they became used to using—like temperament, transition, milestones and communication. Some of the children found the words difficult to say but they clearly understood what they meant.” Tama’s parents, as so many parents in our program do, commented on how much the interactions in the classroom taught them about children.

       Branching Out

      Roots of Empathy has grown exponentially. It is offered in schools across Canada and Australia. We have reached almost 29,000 students so far in 2005. The news spreads from community to community—by word of mouth, through media coverage and through educators sharing best practices. When a community hears there’s a school-based program out there that involves a local family, makes a positive difference in how children treateach other today and prepares them to be good citizens and good parents in the future, Roots of Empathy is invited in. Members of our staff then collaborate with the community to build a committed group of people who champion the program, choose potential instructors and work with the schools to get the program up and running.

      Globalization has made the world a much smaller place and heightened the commonality of the issues we struggle with. We are plagued with conflict and violence in schools. Our program offers practical hope. We are at a time and a place where a new way for ward is sorely needed. Through the eyes of a baby, Roots of Empathy takes us back to the basics of what it is to be truly human.

       Roots of Empathy in Our World

      I invite every parent, every educator, every individual concerned with shaping the next generation to examine the learnings culled from the parent–baby relationship. The chapters in this book are presented to you as windows into the world of Roots of Empathy. They are designed to reveal to you the layers of learning experienced by children in the classroom and reveal the wisdom of children’s responses to those experiences.

      Parents will draw from Roots of Empathy an affirmation of the fundamental influence they have on their children from the first breath and even in utero. The dance of intimacy, conducted through glances, smiles, rocking and soothing words gives infants a secure base from which to successfully engage the world—from forming healthy relationships to exploring their physical space, tackling problems and learning how to learn. In the holistic environment of this program, we name, describe and give life to concepts in neuroscience and child development. Parents will recognize in these lessons that what they do instinctively is critical to raising a generation of children who have the skills and emotional competence to create a more civil society. Through Roots of Empathy, we can break the cycle of passing on damaging behaviours, whether these be violent or neglectful or unempathic, from one generation to the next.

      Educators—teachers, school administrators—in many, many school settings across Canada have witnessed what this program adds to the dynamics of the classroom, to the life of the school and to the learning of individual children. By witnessing the development of a baby over the course of a year in the context of the parenting relationship, the program ensures a solid foundation in social and emotional learning. Communication skills, through discussion, art, writing and music, are an important component of every class we offer. An elementary school vice-principal told me, “I get so excited about all of the curriculum connections—I know if I were the classroom teacher with this opportunity, my whole program would revolve around Roots of Empathy.” An additional compelling feat u re of having this program in schools is the strong body of evidence that links the development of empathic skills with academic success. When empathy training is integrated into the classroom, critical thinking skills, reading comprehension and creative thinking are enhanced.⁵

      Many observers and participants who have witnessed the unfolding of Roots of Empathy in a classroom over the course of a year have suggested СКАЧАТЬ