Roots of Empathy. Mary Gordon

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      The activities that are threaded through the program can be used in many ways, and often, long after the instructor is gone, teachers extend the Roots of Empathy learning experiences into regular classroom plans.

      This program is given to the classroom teacher as a gift. The instructor who brings the program into the classroom is also often a gift—of agencies in the community of the school. These agencies fund the instructional time of the instructors, who are frequently on the staff of the agencies. The extensive training and mentoring provided to instructors by the Roots of Empathy organization is considered by the agencies to be valuable professional development. Classroom teachers have an opportunity to be with their students and observe them in a completely different light during the Roots of Empathy classes. Teachers comment on the emotional development of their students over the course of the year, in particular the kindness they witness, which had not been in evidence before. Many teachers tell us this is their most enjoyable time with the students and that the program positively changes the tone of the classroom.

      The students witness the baby grow up in front of their eyes. They become solicitous of this baby and become advocates for all babies. They become part of an authentic dialogue with the Roots of Empathy parent and get insight into the joys and worries of being a parent. In the visits where the family is not present, students explore the connection between the baby’s development and their own development; the connections between the baby’s feelings and their own feelings. For example, when the baby struggles to sit up without support, and consistently falls over, the children discuss their frustration in baseball games as they try to hit the ball and can’t get the bat to connect fast enough. The shared experience of seeing the baby struggle also allows the instructor to draw the analogy with the frustration the children feel when their schoolwork does not come easily. The discussion held in the class room brings out into the open the negative feelings many children experience silently. The children develop strategies for helping one another, and give themselves permission to struggle openly, and to feel safe and not vulnerable when asking for help. At the end of the school year, as the school plans classes for the following September, teachers are keen to get students who have had our program because they cooperate and help one another. This anecdotal evidence of an increase in cooperation has been strongly borne out by research on the Roots of Empathy program.

      The baby becomes a laboratory for human development—the development of a whole person, physical, social, emotional, intellectual, moral and spiritual. Students are coached in learning how to reflect. Every child is encouraged to speak out in the group, to find their voice, and to anchor the feeling of being a contributing member of a group in which there are no wrong answers or stupid questions, and respect is guaranteed.

      Although I began the program with kindergarten children, by the end of my first year I was getting requests from teachers to expand into higher grades. There was a strong sense that through the Roots of Empathy program children were developing levels of emotional literacy that not only encouraged a healthy sense of self but contributed to a kinder, more respectful tone in the group. The program was also sought after for Grade 8 classes; in communities where schools were experiencing drop-outs due to adolescent pregnancies, the teachers and principals felt that understanding the emotional and physical needs of babies and the long reach that the first year has in a child’s life would be very important for these young students. I reworked the curriculum to address the social and emotional learning that is relevant for this age group. By offering these teens experience with a baby, we help them to understand that every baby is entitled to have parents who can provide her with the best possible life. More than that, we give them a way to reflect on the realities of the upheaval that would result in their own lives if they became parents before they were ready. The concept of giving adolescents realistic insight into parenting, with many opportunities for dialogue with parents “in the trenches” and reflection on the demands of caring for a baby, encourages young people to understand the hardship and long-lasting implications of teen pregnancy. In one Grade 8 class our parent was a pediatrician. A student asked if it was fun being a parent. The mom replied, “In a twenty-four-hour day, there are fifteen minutes of pure joy and twenty-three hours and forty-five minutes of hard work.”

      By involving children in the unfolding story of the parent–child relationship, Roots of Empathy is engaging them in a world of social and emotional learning that examines the development of a human being on a green blanket on the classroom floor. This program addresses children’s affective side, their ability to care. Empathy is a key ingredient of competent parenting, and exploration of what it takes to be a responsive and responsible parent opens the door to emotional literacy for children, creating change from the inside out. The skills they learn in the program will not only help them with relationships today but will affect the quality of parenting we can expect in the next generation. These skills will help children develop the empathy, insights and capacity for human connection that are critical for them to take their place in the world.

       The Birth of Roots of Empathy

      Where did the idea of offering such a program to elementary school childrencome from? Why was the curriculum built around the concept of bringing a baby into the classroom? What impact for families and society did I envision? The answers to these questions takes me back to my first years as an elementary teacher.

      When I took my first teaching job, it was with hope and determination to make a difference in children’s lives. I was so excited about teaching—which was perhaps surprising, since my sister and I used to pray in our early teens to be spared the dreaded fate of a “calling” to be a nun or a teacher. Although as two girls in convent school we hoped to avoid the vocation, as adults we both chose to teach, my sister moving on to teach children music while I chose kindergarten.

      I thought I could make the world perfect for my students. Instead, I found myself face to face with the reality of little children’s lives. Seeing those three-, four-and five-year-olds come into the class room on the first day changed my whole perception. You could tell, right from that initial entrance, which ones were going to be winners, and which ones would struggle. The kind of start they had had in life determined their overall sense of competence and their ability to cope with the stress of transition to school. Some children came into the room with “SUCCESS” stamped on their fore heads. Even the ones who were a little shy, or upset at being separated from their parents, had an air of confidence, of knowing they were valued. They were ready to learn and participate in the group life of the school. As the weeks went by, they demonstrated that readiness in the classroom.

      Other children came in warily, or bristling with aggression. Already the experiences of their first few years of life had taught them that their needs didn’t matter, that adults couldn’t really be trusted, that they’d better keep an eye out for threats all the time. The damage of neglect was as profound as the damage of abuse. Right from their first day of school, these children were swimming upstream. They wore their wounds in their behaviour. Learning was hard for them. Getting along with their classmates was a challenge. The school was not ready for them, but had confirmed the negative messages they’d been given from birth and their lack of school-readiness.

      I began to see that if I was to truly make a difference for children, I would need to take a step back. Kindergarten was too late.

      One thing all the children had in common was that they all loved their parents and were fiercely loyal to them. This was true whether their home was filled with privilege and harmony or beset with hardship and conflict. So I called the parents, and said to them, “If you’ll share with me what you know about your children, I’ll share with you what I know about preparing them for success in school.” In all the work I have done with parents and children in the ensuing thirty years, what I had glimpsed darkly as a young teacher has become crystal clear: the relationship between the child and the parent is the most powerful teaching relationship there is. The home has a profound impact on the child’s attitude to learning and their sense of competence before they even start school. Parents are children’s СКАЧАТЬ