Snap. Patti Wood

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      I came into this world as a result of the power of snap impressions. Before my mother was my mother, she went out dancing one evening, spied a cute blond man across the dance floor, opened up her heart, and thought, “That’s him.” My future father looked across the same dance floor, saw a cute blonde woman, opened up his heart, and thought, “That’s her.”

      “Thought” isn’t really accurate, since the cues our limbic brain (the system of neural structures related to emotional behavior) process in an instant lead to a much more visceral sensing, an undeniable and almost indescribable knowing. This is the powerful feeling each of my parents experienced.

      These two young dancers met that night, and four days later my father went out and bought a red convertible and an engagement ring. He picked my mom up for their date — with the top down on the convertible — drove her out to the beach, under a full Miami moon, and proposed to her. Clearly, my father knew how to make a great first impression. (They were married one week later.)

      My parents shared this tender love story with my sisters and me when I was nineteen and taking my first nonverbal communication class. Their story inspired my many years of research into what I now call snap impressions, and a career of writing and speaking about the importance and power of these first takes in business and personal relationships.

      I have been consulting and conducting research on nonverbal communication since 1982; my communication degrees emphasize nonverbal communication. I’ve taught the subject at the university level (Time magazine cited my Body Language course at Florida State University as one of the most popular college courses in the nation), spoken to government agencies and corporations, and coached everyone from executives and political candidates to people who want to improve their job-interview, sales, presentation, or dating skills. I’ve worked with judges, law enforcement officers, doctors, nurses, teachers, and foster parents. Nearly every week, I’m asked to appear in print and on broadcast media to comment on current events — from trials and scandals to political campaigns and celebrity behavior.

      In this book, I use my expertise, including my academic background, continued research, and real-world experience, not only to give you the insights of science but also to show you how to put it all to practical, everyday use. I’ve also included stories that serve as examples of what I describe; many may strike a familiar chord. You will also have the opportunity to link to videos, online exercises, and recent research. As you read through these chapters, through the research and descriptions, think about the last meeting you attended, your most recent experience of meeting a new colleague or date, the telephone or email exchange you had yesterday, and all the other times when impressions mattered. As you recall these experiences, you will gain a deeper understanding of the concepts and learn more quickly how to interpret and use your nonverbal skills to your advantage. You’ll learn to

      • give the first impression that you intend to give, in a variety of circumstances;

      • build your likability, credibility, and charisma;

      • understand how power or the lack of it is communicated;

      • read people quickly and effectively;

      • understand that you are constantly forming “first impressions,” even with people you already know as you begin a new interaction with them;

      • discover how to get that rare second chance at a first impression;

      • make a good “tech impression” with today’s tech devices in today’s many technological venues;

      • recognize who you can really trust and how to be credible yourself;

      • understand other people’s actual agendas quickly;

      • learn to trust your more accurate snap impressions and use them to guide you; and

      • be more confident in yourself and your ability to interact with others.

      The goal is to help you be — and be seen as — your best possible self while you also learn to quickly recognize and understand all the people you encounter. The result will be a more confident, courageous, and savvy you. Let’s get started.

       1. GETTING AND GIVING SNAP IMPRESSIONS

Use Body Language to Accurately Read Others and Improve the Impression You Make

       Dana, a story consultant in Hollywood, had an appointment to meet with George Clooney. She’d had to postpone their meeting twice. “Unbelievable, I know,” she said, laughing. “Who delays meeting George Clooney? But I had just had a baby.”

       The rescheduled meeting day arrived and Dana, exhausted by a sleepless night, threw on the only clothes that fit: white T-shirt, jeans, and СКАЧАТЬ