Living With Dignity. Anthony Ekanem

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СКАЧАТЬ a time when you had trouble accepting other people.

      Acceptance is the ability to allow other people to be who they are. That means having a right to their opinions, feelings and thoughts. When you accept people as they are, you let go of your desire to change them. You allow them to feel the way they want to feel, and you let them be different and think differently from you. Everyone is different in one way or the other. Once you come to terms with this truth, you will be able to stop trying to change others to the people you want them to be, and start accepting them for who they are.

      Acceptance of others is not easy when people act differently from the way you do. Many of us have trouble accepting those who are different. By learning the skill of acceptance as enunciated in this book, you will be better able to understand yourself and those who are different from you.

      Acceptance of other people means dropping judgment and expectations of how you think people should act. It also means releasing the superiority complexes you might pick up at times when you feel more evolved spiritually, mentally, and emotionally. The truth is that you will never fully know what is going on in someone else's life. You may not know the full truth and all their stories; though, many times, you may try to write your version of their stories to suit your ego's best interest.

      We have all been given very different lots in life, and so how we handle what life throws at us will be different. The point here is that it is not your duty to judge others for how they live their lives. It is not even your job to change people to make them "better" or more tolerable. Your job is to live in love and truth consistently.

      When you accept others the way they are, you give them the space to find their path and learn their truth. To accept others as they are does not mean that you have to participate in their stories or mentalities. With acceptance and compassion, comes healthy boundaries.

      If you are struggling in a relationship or situation with another person, try switching your mindset to allow them to be where they are on their path at that moment. Do not try to change them. Do not allow yourself to get wrapped up in their story. Just accept them and notice what happens.

      In today's fast-changing world, it is essential to know how to be more accepting of others regardless of their beliefs, viewpoints, or opinions. Take the steps below to learn to be more accepting of others and embrace all the differences that others have to offer.

      Watch your thoughts.

      Think about what you are thinking. We often believe things about other people, judging them, without even realising it. Work on paying more attention to your thoughts and do your best to push them in a non-judgmental, more accepting direction.

      Do not try to control other's feelings.

      Have you ever tried to render help to someone with a problem, but felt that no matter what you do, you would not get through to them? Maybe you wanted to make them "see things your way," or "think more rationally." And in the end, they could not come around to your way of thinking. If this happened, the problem was not with the person you were trying to help, but with your approach to helping them.

      When feelings are involved, there is no right or wrong answer. So, rather than trying to control or change other people's opinions, you must accept them. You must allow people to have and express their feelings without telling them how they should feel. Empathetic people understand that emotions are difficult to control, and they accept people’s feelings for what they are.

      Allow others to be different.

      We are all different. We live in a world of over seven billion people, as at the time of writing this book, according to the World Population Review. How can you then expect everyone to share the same beliefs and viewpoints as you? One of the most important ways of learning to accept others is to accept the fact that we are all different. Everyone has their story and something that makes them unique. So, rather than fight this fact, embrace it and become closer to accepting others.

      The world would have been a very dull place to live in if everyone was the same as everyone else. If everyone were to look the same, have the same personality, the same interests and the same experiences, we would all lose interest in other people very quickly. Fortunately, each of us has a unique set of qualities that make us different from everyone else in the world. Even though we all know that these individual differences are for good, we sometimes feel uncomfortable with them. It is either we try to change people who are different from us, or we avoid or even ignore them completely.

      You should be compassionate by having an open mind and accepting these differences. So, the next time you are around someone who appears to be your exact opposite, try and challenge yourself to know that person better. Find out more about them, and you will come out of the conversation feeling that you are not as different as you first thought. You will feel closer to that person, and as a result, you will be better able to understand them.

      Give considerate advice.

      Once you learn to allow others the right to their feelings, and the right to be different, you will be able to give better advice.

      Have you ever spoken to other people about your problems, only to have them give you terrible advice? They may have responded in a way that made you wonder if they were listening to anything you were saying in the first place! Those people were probably listening to you, but they failed to put much consideration into their responses. Or, they let their feelings get in the way of yours. To show compassion, you must learn to give advice in a way that is in line with other people’s unique sensibilities, characteristics and personality.

      Look out for the positive.

      The inability to accept others is a result of seeing the negative in them. So, instead of focusing on the negative side of an individual, focus on the good side of that person, their choices and actions. Know that your way may not always be the best one. So, rather than looking at the negatives when learning to accept others, think about the positives of the experience. Every time you accept other people for who they are, you are opening up your life to new friends, new experiences, new opportunities and a new chance to learn how to accept others.

      Do not be quick to judge.

      It is easy to look at others and point out their faults. Sometimes we judge and criticise people without even realising it. A better and empathetic response would be to focus on the good in other people. When you accept other people as they are, it means you understand they are doing the best they can do at the moment. Remember, if they could do better, they would. Your judgment of other people is often a result of your criticisms. If you stop putting pressure on yourself to do things the "right" way, you will also stop putting pressure on others as well. Not judging yourself or others is an important step to acceptance.

      Do not compare people.

      The key to accepting other people as they are is not to compare them. To compare one person to another is like comparing a man to a woman. Unfortunately, most of us are guilty of this. We compare ourselves to others, and we also compare other people to some set standards. According to Theodore Roosevelt, "Comparison is the thief of joy." What he meant by this is that we will never be happy if we always compare ourselves to other people. This is because there will always be someone better, smarter or more luxurious than we are. So, instead of comparing people, you must accept that each person is on a different path in life.

      Focus on the Present.

      A lack of acceptance can come from comparing things to the past. Do not think about what happened before and СКАЧАТЬ