The Complete Satires & Essays of Mark Twain. Марк Твен
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Название: The Complete Satires & Essays of Mark Twain

Автор: Марк Твен

Издательство: Bookwire

Жанр: Языкознание

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isbn: 9788027233151

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      A SALUTATION SPEECH FROM THE NINETEENTH CENTURY TO THE TWENTIETH

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      Facsimile of the original manuscript published in the Minneapolis Journal, 29 December 1900, p. 2.

      A salutation-speech from the Nineteenth Century to the Twentieth, taken down in shorthand by Mark Twain.

      I bring you the stately matron named Christendom, returning bedraggled, besmirched, and dishonored, from pirate raids in Kiaochow, Manchuria, South Africa, and the Philippines, with her soul full of meanness, her pocket full of boodle, and her mouth full of pious hypocrisies. Give her soap and towel, but hide the looking glass.

      Give her the glass; it may from error free her

      When she shall see herself as others see her.

      - original salutation published in the Minneapolis Journal, 29 December 1900. The final two lines were added for cards distributed by the New England Anti-Imperialist League.

      Mark Twain’s greeting was originally written for the Red Cross but he became dissatisfied with publicity surrounding his contribution and requested his contribution be returned. The disagreement with the Red Cross was reported in newspapers around the country.

      THE BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLIC, UPDATED

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      This hymn was written in 1901, as a parody of American imperialism, in the wake of the Philippine–American War. It is written in the same tune and cadence as the original Battle Hymn of the Republic.

      Mine eyes have seen the orgy of the launching of the Sword;

      He is searching out the hoardings where the stranger’s wealth is stored;

      He hath loosed his fateful lightnings, and with woe and death has scored;

      His lust is marching on.

      I have seen him in the watch-fires of a hundred circling camps;

      They have builded him an altar in the Eastern dews and damps;

      I have read his doomful mission by the dim and flaring lamps —

      His night is marching on.

      I have read his bandit gospel writ in burnished rows of steel:

      “As ye deal with my pretensions, so with you my wrath shall deal;

      Let the faithless son of Freedom crush the patriot with his heel;

      Lo, Greed is marching on!”

      We have legalized the strumpet and are guarding her retreat;*

      Greed is seeking out commercial souls before his judgement seat;

      O, be swift, ye clods, to answer him! be jubilant my feet!

      Our god is marching on!

      In a sordid slime harmonious Greed was born in yonder ditch,

      With a longing in his bosom — and for others’ goods an itch.

      As Christ died to make men holy, let men die to make us rich —

      Our god is marching on.

      * NOTE: In Manila the Government has placed a certain industry under the protection of our flag. (M.T.)

      TO THE PERSON SITTING IN DARKNESS

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      This essay was published in the North American Review in February 1901. It is a satire critiquing imperialism as revealed in the Boxer Uprising and its aftermath, the Boer War, and the Philippine-American War expressing his anti-Imperialist views. It mentions the historical figures Emilio Aguinaldo, William McKinley, Joseph Chamberlain, William Scott Ament and others, and fueled the Twain-Ament Indemnities Controversy.

      “Christmas will dawn in the United States over a people full of hope and aspiration and good cheer. Such a condition means contentment and happiness. The carping grumbler who may here and there go forth will find few to listen to him. The majority will wonder what is the matter with him and pass on.” — New York Tribune, on Christmas Eve.

      From The Sun, of New York:

      “The purpose of this article is not to describe the terrible offences against humanity committed in the name of Politics in some of the most notorious East Side districts. They could not be described, even verbally. But it is the intention to let the great mass of more or less careless citizens of this beautiful metropolis of the New World get some conception of the havoc and ruin wrought to man, woman and child in the most densely populated and least known section of the city. Name, date and place can be supplied to those of little faith — or to any man who feels himself aggrieved. It is a plain statement of record and observation, written without license and without garnish.

      “Imagine, if you can, a section of the city territory completely dominated by one man, without whose permission neither legitimate nor illegitimate business can be conducted; where illegitimate business is encouraged and legitimate business discouraged; where the respectable residents have to fasten their doors and windows summer nights and sit in their rooms with asphyxiating air and 100-degree temperature, rather than try to catch the faint whiff of breeze in their natural breathing places, the stoops of their homes; where naked women dance by night in the streets, and unsexed men prowl like vultures through the darkness on “business” not only permitted but encouraged by the police; where the education of infants begins with the knowledge of prostitution and the training of little girls is training in the arts of Phryne; where American girls brought up with the refinements of American homes are imported from small towns up-State, Massachusetts, Connecticut and New Jersey, and kept as virtually prisoners as if they were locked up behind jail bars until they have lost all semblance of womanhood; where small boys are taught to solicit for the women of disorderly houses; where there is an organized society of young men whose sole business in life is to corrupt young girls and turn them over to bawdy houses; where men walking with their wives along the street are openly insulted; where children that have adult diseases are the chief patrons of the hospitals and dispensaries; where it is the rule, rather than the exception, that murder, rape, robbery and theft go unpunished — in short where the Premium of the most awful forms of Vice is the Profit of the politicians.”

      The following news from China appeared in The Sun, of New York, on Christmas Eve. The italics are mine:

      “The Rev. Mr. Ament, of the American Board of Foreign Missions, has returned from a trip which he made for the purpose of collecting indemnities for damages done by Boxers. Everywhere he went he compelled the СКАЧАТЬ