THE COMPLETE WORKS OF FYODOR DOSTOYEVSKY. Федор Достоевский

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СКАЧАТЬ aren’t you ashamed to imagine such a thing and ask about it, princess?” we suddenly heard the voice of Madame Leotard, who had been watching us for the last five minutes and listening to our conversation. “For shame! You are envious of the poor child, and boast to her that you can dance and play the piano. For shame! I shall tell the prince all about it.”

      Katya’s cheeks glowed like a fire.

      “It’s a bad feeling. You have insulted her by your questions. Her parents were poor people and could not engage teachers for her; she has taught herself because she has a kind good heart. You ought to love her, and you want to quarrel with her. For shame, for shame! Why, she is an orphan. She has no one. You will be boasting next that you are a princess and she is not. I shall leave you alone. Think over what I have said to you, and improve.”

      Katya did think for exactly two days. For two days her laughter and shouts were not heard. Waking in the night, I heard her even in her sleep still arguing with Madame Leotard. She actually grew a little thinner during those two days, and there was not such a vivid flush of red on her bright little face. At last on the third day we met downstairs in the big rooms. Katya was on her way from her mother’s room, but seeing me, she stopped and sat not far off, facing me. I waited in terror for what was coming, trembling in every limb.

      “Nyetochka, why did they scold me because of you?” she asked at last.

      “It was not because of me, Katenka,” I said in haste to defend myself.

      “But Madame Leotard said that I had insulted you.”

      “No, Katenka, no; you did not insult me.”

      Katya shrugged her shoulders to express her perplexity.

      “Why is it you are always crying?” she asked after a brief silence.

      “I won’t cry if you want me not to,” I answered through my tears.

      She shrugged her shoulders again.

      “You were always crying before.”

      I made no answer.

      “Why is it you are living with us?” Katya asked suddenly.

      I gazed at her in bewilderment, and something seemed to stab me to the heart.

      “Because I am an orphan,” I answered at last, pulling myself together.

      “Used you to have a father and mother?”

      “Yes.”

      “Well, didn’t they love you?”

      “No… they did love me,” I answered with an effort.

      “Were they poor?”

      “Yes.”

      “They didn’t each you anything?”

      “They taught me to read.”

      “Did you have any toys?”

      “No.”

      “Did you have any cakes?”

      “No.”

      “How many rooms had you?”

      “One.”

      “And had you any servants?”

      “No, we had no servants.”

      “Who did the work?”

      “I used to go out and buy things myself.”

      Katya’s questions lacerated my heart more and more. And memories and my loneliness and the astonishment of the little princess — all this stabbed and wounded my heart, and all the blood seemed to rush to it. I was trembling with emotion, and was choking with tears.

      “I suppose you are glad you are living with us?”

      I did not speak.

      “Did you have nice clothes?”

      “No.”

      “Nasty ones?”

      “Yes.”

      “I have seen your dress, they showed me it.”

      “Why do you ask me questions?” I said, trembling all over with a new and unknown feeling, and I got up from my seat. “Why do you ask me questions?” I went on, flushing with indignation. “Why are you laughing at me?”

      Katya flared up, and she, too, rose from her seat, but she instantly controlled her feeling.

      “No… I am not laughing,” she answered. “I only wanted to know whether it was true that your father and mother were poor.”

      “Why do you ask me about father and mother?” I said, beginning to cry from mental distress. “Why do you ask such questions about them? What have they done to you, Katya?”

      Katya stood in confusion and did not know what to answer. At that moment the prince walked in.

      “What is the matter with you, Nyetochka?” he asked, looking at me and seeing my tears. “What is the matter with you?” he asked, glancing at Katya, who was as red as fire. “What were you talking about? What have you been quarrelling about? Nyetochka, what have you been quarrelling about?”

      But I could not answer. I seized the prince’s hand and kissed it with tears.

      “Katya, tell the truth. What has happened?”

      Katya could not lie.

      “I told her that I had seen what horrid clothes she had when she lived with her father and mother.”

      “Who showed you them? Who dared to show them?”

      “I saw them myself,” Katya answered resolutely.

      “Well, very well! You won’t tell tales, I know that. What else?”

      “And she cried and asked why I was laughing at her father and mother.

      “Then you were laughing at them?”

      Though Katya had not laughed, yet she must have had some such feeling when for the first time I had taken her words so. She did not answer a word, which meant that she acknowledged that it was the fact.

      “Go to her at once and beg her forgiveness,” said the prince, indicating me.

      The little princess stood as white as a handkerchief and did not budge.

      “Well?” said the prince.

      “I won’t,” Katya brought out at last in a low voice, with a most determined air.

      “Katya!”

      “No, I won’t, I won’t!” СКАЧАТЬ