Are You the One for Me?. Barbara Angelis De

Чтение книги онлайн.

СКАЧАТЬ target="_blank" rel="nofollow" href="#fb3_img_img_6eb5cf47-2920-5255-a02c-7b0fe5ff607f.jpg" alt="Image"/> Never being taught about love.

      Consciously and unconsciously, we base our decisions in relationships on these Love Myths. Let’s look at five of the most deadly Love Myths. As you read each one, think not only of your present relationship but about your past relationships as well.

      1 TRUE LOVE CONQUERS ALL.

      2 WHEN ITS REALLY TRUE LOVE, YOU WILL KNOW IT THE MOMENT YOU MEET THE OTHER PERSON.

      3 THERE IS ONLY ONE TRUE LOVE IN THE WORLD WHO IS RIGHT FOR YOU.

      4 THE PERFECT PARTNER WILL FULFILL YOU COMPLETELY IN EVERY WAY.

      5 WHEN YOU EXPERIENCE POWERFUL SEXUAL CHEMISTRY WITH SOMEONE, IT MUST BE LOVE.

      Love Myth 1

       True Love Conquers All

      Deep in our hearts, we all secretly believe this myth about love—that if we really love our partner, we will be able to make the relationship work. No problem, no conflict, no set of circumstances is insurmountable if we just love enough.

       Exercise: Think back to your past relationships, or to problems in your present relationship, and fill in the blank to this sentence for yourself. Make a list of at least a dozen responses that refer to different partners you have had.

      

If I love my partner enough, it won’t matter that (problem)

      

If I love my partner enough, it won’t matter that __________

      

If I love my partner enough, it won’t matter that:

       ........................................................

       ........................................................

       ........................................................

       ........................................................

       ........................................................

       ........................................................

       ........................................................

       ........................................................

       ........................................................

       ........................................................

       ........................................................

       ........................................................

       Example: If I love my partner enough, it won’t matter that:

      

He drinks.

      

Our sex life isn’t great.

      

She criticizes me all the time.

      

We fight constantly over how to raise the children.

      

He is a strict Catholic and I am Jewish.

      

I’m not really sexually attracted to her.

      

He doesn’t have a job and hasn’t worked in two years.

      

She has a terrible temper and blows up all the time.

      

He constantly flirts with other women.

      

I don’t get along with her children.

      

He has a hard time telling me how he feels.

      

His family doesn’t accept me.

      

I want children and he doesn’t.

      

She still hasn’t gotten over her ex-boyfriend.

      

He’s thirty years older than I am.

      

We live on opposite sides of the country.

      Here are the consequences of believing in Love Myth #1:

      1 You avoid facing your relationship problems, or seeking solutions to those problems, by telling yourself, ‘If we love each other enough, none of these conflicts or personality differences will matter.’

      Dennis, thirty-seven, called me on my radio talk show one day and explained that he was Jewish and his fiancée, Alice, thirty-five, was Catholic. They had been dating for two years, and although they talked about their difference in religion, they never really resolved their feelings about it. ‘I always worried that one day it would be a problem,’ Dennis confessed, ‘but we got along so well in so many other ways, and I didn’t want to rock the boat. Then Alice and I started to talk about marriage. When I thought about my future, and about having children, I realized that I wanted my kids to be brought up in the Jewish faith, and that there were things about Alice not being Jewish that I also missed but had never told her. I asked her to convert, but she refused. She is a pretty strict Catholic, and says she wants to be married in the Church СКАЧАТЬ