Transform Your Life: 10 Steps to Real Results. Carole Gaskell

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СКАЧАТЬ alignment – their total being is unable to operate at its optimum capability. When your life is out of integrity, things tend to go wrong and you’re highly likely to blame others. You’ll know when you’re out of integrity when there are significant gaps between what you say and what you do.

      You can start to enhance your own personal integrity by identifying 10 areas of your life where you’re not currently telling the full truth – either to yourself or others. List them and then write next to each one the actions you will take to address it and the date by which you will have completed them.

      I’d like you to tackle two of these issues each week over the next month or so until you know you’re living a fully authentic life.

      

The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind!

      William James

      Don’t ‘Should’ on Yourself

      When you’re out of integrity and out of alignment with your own true self, it’s likely you’ll find yourself doing things because you feel others expect it of you rather than doing things because you really want to do them. This is where the ‘shoulds’ and ‘oughts’ come in. Coaches have a very useful phrase: ‘Don’t should on yourself.’ In essence, if you say you ‘should’ or ‘ought to’ do something, unless you know it’s something you genuinely need to do, the chances are the statement is coming from someone else’s agenda and not from your own.

      Be aware in your day-to-day life of how many times you say ‘I should do this’ or ‘I should do that’ – for example, do you ever say to yourself ‘I should lose weight’ or ‘I should change jobs’? Stop and think. Ask yourself: ‘Is this something I genuinely need or want to do?’ I’m not suggesting you abdicate responsibility for things that it is necessary for you to do. We all have things in life that we don’t particularly enjoy doing (housework or paperwork, for example), but we know we need to get them done. These are basic needs that you knuckle down and get on with. Equally, you may be required to take care of the needs of someone else (a sick relative perhaps), which is a question of facing up to your responsibilities. From a realistic viewpoint, I’d like you to be aware of your needs, responsibilities and wants and make choices accordingly. If your ‘should’ is neither a need nor a genuine responsibility nor a want, I suggest it is not a true expression of yourself and not appropriate for you to do!

      

Be aware of your language over the next few days and take note of how many times you say ‘should’ and ‘ought’. List your 10 most common ‘shoulds’ and ‘oughts’, decide whether they are things you genuinely need or want to do and if they are not, consider what you are going to do about them.

      I actively encourage you to connect as much as you can with the real reasons why you do things. If something doesn’t feel right to you, don’t do it. For example, if you find yourself working extra hours each week, ask yourself, ‘Is there a good reason for this? How is it serving me?’ If the answer is that this is something you need to do, because you’re being paid overtime and you need the extra money perhaps, or the project is important to you, your company, client or customer, and you will all benefit, then the justification is there. However, if the real reason you’re working longer is because you feel you ‘should’ because everyone else does or you’ve just got into the habit, stop and ask yourself whether you can do this differently. Are you ‘shoulding’ on yourself? Would it serve you better to develop ways of becoming more effective and productive in fewer hours?

      Your life will become more fulfilling when you eliminate any sense of obligation to things that don’t really serve you. Do the things you want to for your highest good – it’s your life!

      Be Proactive

      Being proactive means taking the initiative and not waiting for things to happen to you. People who are successful in life tend to be proactive – they are aware every day that the life they live is their own choice. It’s not so much what happens to you in life that’s important – it’s what you do with what happens. Equally, it’s not so much how you fall down that matters, but how you get up again!

      As you embark on transforming your life, you’ll encounter many choices and will start to become a real expert in making decisions. The more choices you make, the easier things will become and the freer you’ll feel. Before you’ve finished reading this book, I want decision-making to be like falling off a log! But first, consider:

      

What are the main factors that you think are limiting the choices you have in your life?

      

Taking these factors into account, what changes could you make to become more proactive?

      Adopt a Positive Attitude

      Every second of every day we can choose how we view the world. Our own reality is held in place by our perceptions and our current state of awareness. So it goes without saying that the more positive your attitude, the more easily you’ll be able to cope with transformation.

      Is your cup half full or half empty? The moment you start to acknowledge that life is essentially ‘good’, your perceptions of the world automatically shift you into a new way of being. You may not be quite ready for this shift now, but if you are willing to open yourself up to the possibility, you could find a gradual sense of positivity creeping up on you as you transform your life.

      When you start to adopt a more positive outlook on life, you still accept reality, but choose to live in a more fulfilling way. You find positive things start to happen to you and that you attract more positive people into your life.

      

What evidence do you have now of positivity in your life? List the three most positive elements of your current life.

      There are various ways you can adopt a more positive mind-set. Some suggestions are appreciating and expressing gratitude for the good things in your life, and making sure you choose your words carefully, using positive, empowering language to express yourself and not undermining yourself with a negative inner dialogue or self-belief. Terms such as ‘I can’t’ or ‘It’s impossible’ set you up for failure before you even begin!

      

What changes are you willing to make to become more positive in your life?

      Be Willing to Extend your Comfort Zones

      It’s not uncommon to fear change and the unknown. We’re only human and it’s human to suffer from a lack of nerve sometimes. As you work through this process I would like you to accept your own humanness. Accept that it’s alright to feel nervous, allow yourself to be comfortable with your ‘discomfort’, but then go beyond that and have the confidence to take perhaps the tiniest step towards the changes you want to make.

      Making changes can result in successful or less successful outcomes. If you really want to transform your life you have СКАЧАТЬ