Whispers of Betrayal. Michael Dobbs

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СКАЧАТЬ recorded, noted down in Battersby’s lexicon of lusts. His diagnostic skills were something of a legend; a Member need only to have tarried for a few hours beneath a duvet he hadn’t bought himself and Battersby would have discovered not only the number of the bedside telephone but even the tog-value of the duvet. Production of the dog-eared manual at the regular surgery he held in the Whips’ inner sanctum had a similar effect to a cattle herder producing a revolver – cures amongst those beasts afflicted by the disease of conscience proved almost miraculous.

      Battersby was a bully. Goodfellowe found him breathing down his collar as he waited his turn in the milking shed.

      ‘Still shagging that waitress, Goodfellowe?’ Battersby enquired, addressing the back of Goodfellowe’s neck. It was meant without undue maliciousness, almost as humour, as one might have asked after a result at tennis, but Goodfellowe had already played the victim once that evening and was in no mood for a rematch.

      ‘Did you have garlic for dinner, Alfred?’ Goodfellowe responded, not bothering to turn round. He sniffed. ‘Yes, definitely garlic. And Guinness.’

      ‘Something’s taking your eye off the plot,’ the Whip growled, responding in kind, his tongue working around his teeth as though in search of a lost sweet. ‘Must be the waitress. ‘Bout time you came round, old chum, and remembered the first duty of every backbencher.’

      ‘Which is?’

      ‘To be loyal to his Prime Minister, of course.’

      ‘And his second duty?’

      The question seemed to startle Battersby. ‘Hell, there’s a second?’

      Goodfellowe at last turned to face his pursuer. ‘Ever wondered why they keep you in the Whips’ Office, Alfie? Why they never give you a proper job or allow you out amongst real people?’

      ‘It’s because I’m loyal. An inspiration to others.’

      ‘It’s because if you fell ill in the outside world they wouldn’t know whether to take you to a hospital or the Natural History Museum.’

      ‘Don’t push it, sunshine.’

      ‘And what are you going to do? No, don’t tell me, let me guess. You’ll confiscate my bicycle pump? Or cover my saddle with superglue?’

      Battersby remained silent for a moment. Goodfellowe was a notoriously awkward sod, a man who had a mind of his own and absolutely nothing of relevance to the Whips. No position, no ambition, nothing to lose. So no weak points, no leverage. An archetypal FU-2. And Battersby was beginning to feel uncertain of his ground. Had they really put garlic in the steak-and-kidney?

      ‘Anyway, something you ought to know.’

      ‘What’s that?’

      ‘The waitress,’ Goodfellowe continued. ‘She owns the restaurant.’

      With that, Goodfellowe was gone, democratic duty done and on his way home, leaving behind him the over-ripe odour of the milking shed and savouring the fresh air – although in London everything was relative, particularly the concept of fresh air. Whitehall was still crowded with traffic grinding its way towards Trafalgar Square and even the rain hadn’t managed to wash the taste of burnt diesel from the night. He spat, then spat again when he found a glistening maroon Ministerial Rover parked ostentatiously across the new green cycle lane, blocking his route. The vehicle’s driver was leaning against the wall of the nearby Cabinet Office, smoking a cheap Dutch cheroot.

      Goodfellowe felt his fuse beginning to burn. It was barely a month since they had painted this cycle lane, and then only after years of lobbying. It represented a small stream of green hope washing through Whitehall. Now Ministers were using it as a car park.

      Yet like all London cyclists who lived in hope of survival, Goodfellowe was prepared. Whistle to his lips, as was his custom when fighting heavy traffic, he blew to attract the driver’s attention. The driver turned, stared impassively from the shadows of his wall, dark eyes unblinking, his face lit like a Halloween mask, then returned to his cheroot.

      Goodfellowe blew again, impatiently, a shriller blast, but Ministerial drivers were a law unto themselves – why, they even had little silver badges issued by the Metropolitan Police to prove it. This bastard wasn’t for moving. And the rain was back.

      Exasperated, Goodfellowe engaged a lower gear and began to manoeuvre his small collapsible bicycle out into the roadway. But the gears were stiff, unoiled, reluctant, and the distraction caused him to be careless. He bent to his task, head down, and twitched at the handlebars, but no sooner had he moved out from the kerb than his world was all but turned on its end as he found himself hurled back towards the gutter by the bow wave of an advancing double-decker. The bus screamed past, almost brushing his shoulder. A collapsible bike pitted against fume-belching spray-spewing red-metal monster. No contest. Goodfellowe ended up drenched.

      The front wheel wobbled in despair. The Ministerial driver smirked.

      Suddenly Goodfellowe realized he knew the fellow. From years ago, but reasonably well. The smirk belonged to a driver from the Whitehall motor pool who on frequent occasions had driven Goodfellowe during those heady days of fame and good fortune when he’d been a Minister at the Home Office. At that time their relationship had been all smiles and shared Polo mints, larded with gossip about the fumblers and fallers in the great parliamentary steeplechase, but now the driver stared at him, oblivious and unrecognizing.

      Goodfellowe could feel the rain creeping like slugs down into his socks and his shoes. His suit had about as much chance of surviving its next encounter with the trouser press as Battersby had of winning Mastermind. It had been a mistake to use the bike. In weather like this it made him look a prat. Hell, perhaps it made him look a prat in any weather. But that still didn’t give the bastard the right to block the cycle lane!

      There was some part of Goodfellowe that was Irish, on his father’s side, from old Queen’s County before they renamed it Laois. In spite of the English overlay, which was supposed to consign all of life’s furies to safe storage in some form of spiritual Tupperware, he took immense pride in these roots, if for no better reason than that it provided an ideal excuse for the occasional outburst. He was also on a diet, nothing but salads and crackers and no second glass of wine, which would make any Celt feel irritable. So, as another bus thundered past, Goodfellowe began to feel mightily and irresistibly pissed off. The whistle fell from his lips. He stood to his full height on the pedals, and let forth a stream of foulness.

      The driver looked up once more, dull eyes staring, casting around to make sure no one else was observing him. Then slowly, almost reverently, he offered Goodfellowe his middle finger.

      In his capacity as the Honourable Member of Parliament for Marshwood, Goodfellowe had sworn a solemn oath by Almighty God to uphold the Crown and its laws, but here it was dark, another world, and now he was drawing alongside this bloody car. Perhaps God wasn’t watching. He shifted his weight in the saddle, took a deep breath, summoned a curse to his lips. Then he was upon it!

      He lashed out at the panel of the driver’s door with his heel. The panel gave a low cry of abused metal, giving great satisfaction to Goodfellowe, who wobbled onwards, taking a yard or two to recover his balance. He turned in his saddle to claim his triumph.

      The driver simply shrugged and returned to his cheroot. He didn’t give a stuff. Wasn’t his wretched car.

      Goodfellowe pushes on into a night that is rapidly coming to resemble СКАЧАТЬ