The Complete Soldier Son Trilogy: Shaman’s Crossing, Forest Mage, Renegade’s Magic. Robin Hobb

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СКАЧАТЬ was startled and unprepared. ‘But … it’s broad daylight. And I thought …’

      ‘You thought I’d have to set up some sort of trick. I don’t, Nevare. That is what is so upsetting to me about this talent. Ever since my first séance with Guide Porilet, it has been only too easy. I feel like she opened a window in my mind, and I don’t know how to shut it. I feel I must always stand watch between my thoughts and that other world. Those others stand there, right at my shoulder, just at the corner of my vision, waiting for a chance to speak through me. Pressing always against my boundaries.’

      ‘It sounds very uncomfortable,’ Spink said. He leaned out around me to speak to Epiny.

      She looked a little startled. ‘I am surprised you would understand that!’ she exclaimed, and then shocked me by saying, ‘Oh. I did not mean to be rude when I said that. It is just that I’ve become so accustomed to people saying, “I have no idea what you are talking about.” Even my mother, who first took me to a séance, says that. You know, I am not sure that she believes in what Guide Porilet does. I fear she thinks it is just a game she plays, a pretence she makes to win favour with the Queen.’ She, too, was leaning past me to speak to him. I stood up and stepped away, uncomfortable to be in the middle of their exchange. She immediately slid closer to him on the wall and held out a hand to him, adding, ‘I know that what we do is real. I think you know it, too. Shall we attempt it here and now?’

      ‘Attempt what?’ he asked her. A very foolish smile spread across his face like some sort of creeping rash.

      ‘A séance, of course. Nevare, come here and take hands. No, wait, this won’t do. Last night, something very dark and powerful was going on. If I am overtaken by spirits, I don’t want to go tumbling off the wall. Let’s find a more comfortable place on the grass and make a tiny circle.’

      ‘I’m afraid that we’ll be late getting back,’ I protested, backing further away from them. I didn’t even want to talk about last night or admit that anything had happened, let alone attempt a re-enactment. ‘Spink and I do have to return to the Academy this afternoon, you know.’

      ‘And you’re afraid. That’s natural, Nevare. But you don’t need to worry about being late. My father will scarcely leave without you. And you know that we must do this, for our own peace of mind. Here’s a good place. Come sit with us.’

      She had been moving as she spoke, drawing Spink along after her. She indicated a flat place amongst the ruins that did not look too damp, and then, folding her legs, sat down cross-legged, her riding skirt conforming to her body in a way that was entirely too revealing. She still had not released Spink’s hand, and with a tug, she pulled him down to sit beside her. ‘Hurry up, Nevare,’ she chided me.

      ‘But—’

      ‘If you are so worried about the time, do sit down and let us get this over with.’

      I eased myself down across from them. She immediately held out her free hand to me. I looked at it without enthusiasm. Honesty took me. ‘I’m not that worried about the time. I didn’t like what happened last night, whatever it was. Quite frankly, whatever it was, I’d prefer to ignore it and go on with my regular life. I’ve no desire to repeat that experience with another séance.’

      ‘Ignore it? You could just ignore it?’ she demanded of me.

      ‘Exactly what did happen last night?’ Spink asked almost at the same moment.

      ‘I don’t know, and I don’t want to know,’ I told them both. To Epiny I said firmly, ‘Whatever you did to me, I didn’t enjoy it. No more séances.’

      Epiny stared at me for a moment. ‘You thought that was a séance? You thought that – whatever it was – was something I did? I beg your pardon, cousin dear. Whatever happened last night was all you. All that strangeness came from you. I’m only asking you to let me find out what it was by asking the spirits. Because whatever it was, I think you need to know. I don’t think ignoring it will make it go away. That’s like saying of an ambush, “Oh, just keep riding and ignore those enemies. Hope for the best, that they’ll let us pass”. You need to stand your ground and face it, Nevare. Better to do it now while you have friends with you than to face it alone later.’

      ‘I’m not sure I agree with you,’ I grumbled. Her advice applied too well to what I was facing when I returned to the Academy. I wondered unhappily how much Spink had told her. Both she and Spink held out their hands to me, and I surrendered. I settled myself and unwillingly held out my hands. Epiny seized mine immediately. I was relieved that the unearthly resistance we had encountered last night was gone. Perhaps that meant nothing peculiar would happen this time. I clasped hands with Spink as well. We sat in a circle like children beginning some nursery game. I was almost immediately uncomfortable. The ground was uneven and stony. ‘Now what do we do?’ I asked, somewhat irritably. ‘Do we shut our eyes and hum? Or bow our heads and—’

      ‘Hush!’ Spink replied, his voice commandingly intense.

      I glared at him but he was staring, mouth ajar, at Epiny. I followed his gaze and felt repelled. She had allowed her mouth to fall half-open and her face to slacken. Her eyeballs were visible beneath her half-open lids and they were jittering back and forth like marbles rattled in a can. She drew in a long, raspy breath through her nose and let it out through her mouth. A tiny bubble of spittle rode it.

      ‘Disgusting!’ I said in quiet dismay, appalled at my cousin’s shameless theatrics. This was far worse than whatever she had subjected me to the night before.

      ‘Be quiet!’ Spink hissed. ‘Can’t you feel the change in her hand? This is real!’

      Her small hand in mine was very warm to the touch compared to Spink’s cold and callused one. I had not noticed before how warm it was. Then, as Epiny’s head first lolled back and then rolled laxly forward on her neck, her hand in mine grew cooler. In two heartbeats, it was as if I held hands with a corpse. I exchanged worried glances with Spink. Epiny spoke. ‘Don’t let go,’ she begged us. ‘Don’t let me get lost here in the wind.’

      I had been at the point of dropping her hand. Now I held it firmly. Her small fingers clutched at mine as if her very life depended on it.

      ‘Let’s stop this,’ Spink said quietly. ‘Epiny, I thought you were playing a game with us. This is … Let’s stop this. I don’t like it at all.’

      She made a sound, an ugly noise somewhere between a retch and a sigh. She seemed to struggle to control her own voice. Then, ‘Can’t,’ she muttered. ‘I can’t shut the window. They’re here all the time.’

      ‘Enough!’ I said. I tried to let go of Epiny’s hand, but she held on to my fingers with unnatural strength.

      ‘Someone’s coming,’ she whispered. Her head dropped, sagging to her breast. Then I felt something change in her. I still cannot explain what happened. Perhaps it was something like looking through rain on a dusty windowpane, and seeing a shape and then suddenly recognizing the person outside. Up to then, I had thought her sounds and grimaces a selfish and ugly little game she was playing to mock us. At that moment, it became something much more dangerous. She lifted her head, but it wobbled on her neck. She looked at me but someone else was looking out of her eyes. The gaze she turned on me was tired and worn and old.

      ‘We weren’t dead,’ she said quietly. The voice wasn’t Epiny’s. She spoke with the accent of a frontier woman. She closed her eyes tightly for a moment, and then tears ran from their corners. ‘I wasn’t dead. СКАЧАТЬ