Far From Home. Anne Bennett

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СКАЧАТЬ had obviously been thinking along the same lines because she said somewhat resentfully, ‘Mammy and Daddy couldn’t do enough to help you leave home.’

      ‘And I have told you why that was,’ Kate said. ‘I was older and wiser and doing it the right way, that’s why.’

      She knew it wasn’t only that, though. She was sure her mother had guessed the feelings she had for her cousin, Tim Munroe. Tim’s father, Padraic, and Kate’s father, Jim, were brothers. On the death of their eldest brother, Michael, after the Great War, they’d split the farm between them, and so the families had seen a lot of each other. Tim was two years her senior, as familiar as any brother, and they had always got on well.

      When she reached sixteen, though, she realized that she wasn’t looking at Tim in a brotherly way any more, or even in a cousinly way. She knew she truly loved him as a woman. She knew Tim felt as she did – she had seen the love-light in his eyes – but he hadn’t said anything about how he felt because it was forbidden for first cousins to enter into any sort of relationship, and marriage between them was totally banned.

      Kate’s mother, Philomena, had soon become aware of how the young people felt about each other, but she’d not said a word to either of them. She had been a little alarmed, but she had told herself they were both young and she thought and hoped it was a phase they would grow out of, had to grow out of: they knew the rules of the Church just as well as she did. She watched her daughter and Tim covertly for two years, but if anything their feelings seemed to deepen as they grew older. She didn’t know what action to take for the best.

      Then Susie Mason had come on her annual holiday to her grandparents’ farm. She had always been a great friend of Kate’s – Kate’s parents liked her too, and always made her welcome, although Philomena often wished she wouldn’t go on quite so much about the fine life she was having in Birmingham where she lived with her family. After she left school, she told them how she now had money of her own to spend and plenty to spend it on. Philomena would watch Kate’s enthralled face as she listened. She was always worried that Susie’s words might unsettle her – and indeed they did, because Susie brought the life and excitement of city life into that small farmhouse, and it contrasted sharply with Kate’s more mundane existence.

      Susie worked in a factory, but even that was not so bad, she declared. ‘You think of the wages at the end of the week,’ she said with a nod of her head and a twinkle in her eye. ‘There’s the clothes you can buy real cheap, especially when you go round the Bull Ring, and then you can wear those clothes when you visit the music hall or cinema.’

      She went on to describe some of the acts she’d seen in the music halls that were peppered about the city, and described the cinema, proper moving pictures that she said she went to see once, maybe twice a week. ‘Dancing is all the rage now,’ she told them in the summer of 1935, and she seemed to almost squeeze herself with delight as she went on: ‘Oh I just love dancing. I have started taking lessons to do it properly. You’d be great at it, Kate, because you have natural rhythm. Look how good you were at the Irish dancing, and there was me with two left feet.’

      Kate, who would give a king’s ransom to see even half the things Susie spoke about, looked at her with dull eyes. She always waited excitedly for Susie’s annual visit and listened avidly to her news, but when she had gone it was as if someone had turned the light out. Kate would see the days stretching interminably out in front of her, each one the same as the one before. The only light in her life was her love for Tim, and she couldn’t speak about that.

      Susie was off again. ‘’Cos as well as the waltz and quickstep and that, they do the new dances coming in from America, music to the big bands, you know?’

      No, Kate thought, I don’t know. I don’t even know what she is talking about. How would I?

      Philomena watched Kate’s face and suddenly felt sorry for her. She also saw that Susie might provide a way out of the situation as regards Kate and Tim. She hated the thought of her daughter leaving that small cottage and living a long way away, but she also knew that she and Tim had to be kept apart for their own good. And Kate had to be the one to go away because Tim couldn’t be spared. He was his father’s right-hand man and, as the eldest son, the one who would inherit the farm one day.

      So to Susie’s great surprise, Philomena said, ‘Susie’s right, Kate. You were always a fine one for the dancing. You’ll have to go to Birmingham and see for yourself. Would you like that?’

      Kate wasn’t sure she’d heard right. She stared at her mother, and even Susie was silent and seemed to be almost holding her breath. ‘Do … do you really mean it, Mammy?’ Kate said at last.

      Philomena’s heart felt as if it was breaking, because she knew that once gone, Kate would in all likelihood never come back to live at home again, but then thinking of the alternative said, ‘Yes, of course I mean it.’

      Kate had to get things straight. ‘For a holiday, Mammy?’ she asked. ‘I’d love that. Oh indeed I would.’

      ‘Well, just a wee holiday if you like,’ Philomena said, and Kate heard the resignation in her mother’s voice and the sigh she tried to suppress as she went on: ‘Though if Susie here could get you set on some place, you could stay a year or two and see how you like city life.’

      Both Kate and Susie looked at Philomena in amazement, and then Kate’s eyes met her mother’s and suddenly she knew why her mother was anxious that she should leave her home and family and travel to Birmingham. And she wasn’t sure that she wanted to go, not for a year or two. Although she did hanker after more freedom, she knew that she would miss her family hugely. And she might never see Tim again, or at least for a good few years. On the other hand, she had to admit that it was torment seeing him so often and not even being able to speak of how she felt. At least she would be spared that.

      ‘So,’ Philomena said, ‘what do you think?’

      Susie was astounded at Philomena’s apparent and sudden change of heart, but she decided she was going to do all she could to encourage such a venture because she thought Kate was wasted in Donegal. ‘I could soon get you fixed up with a job and a flat and such,’ she said reassuringly. ‘Oh, it would be such fun if we were together.’

      Kate smiled at her friend’s enthusiasm, but she knew she was right. With Susie’s company, a job of work and all the distractions that Birmingham could offer, she would surely be able to get the feelings she had for her cousin into some sort of perspective. And so she had nodded her head and had ended up following Susie Mason to Birmingham three years earlier in the autumn of 1935. She had confided everything to Susie once she had arrived in Birmingham; though Susie was sympathetic, she thought that Kate would soon get over her cousin. However, Kate had been incredibly homesick and was determined to stay true to Tim. ‘If I can’t have Tim then I’ll have nobody,’ she declared. ‘I won’t settle for second best.’ She knew her attitude irritated Susie, but there was nothing she could do about that.

      However, Kate knew that her young sister, Sally, had no idea of the real reason their mother had been so keen for her to leave home, and that was how Kate wanted it to stay, and so when Sally said, ‘So why was it so different for you?’, she put those memories to the back of her mind.

      ‘I’ve told you why that was, and as for Mammy not giving you money, she doesn’t think you need anything since she clothes you and feeds you. I never had any either, but if it bothers you that much, it would have been more sensible and more mature to tell them how you felt rather than rushing over here.’

      And then a thought struck her and she said, ‘But hang on a minute, if you had no money given СКАЧАТЬ