The Baby Sleep Book: How to help your baby to sleep and have a restful night. Martha Sears
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Название: The Baby Sleep Book: How to help your baby to sleep and have a restful night
Автор: Martha Sears
Издательство: HarperCollins
Жанр: Воспитание детей
isbn: 9780007484973
isbn:
Dad discusses this situation with Mum. While they want to keep their early bedtime routine with Alex (they like their evenings uninterrupted, and don’t want to have to waste an extra hour every night trying to cater to their child’s bedtime fears), they also have been sensitive to his changing needs over the years. They didn’t push it when he needed some time getting used to starting preschool. They didn’t leave him crying with a babysitter, but took the time to help him feel comfortable and playful. They’ve yet to go on a holiday without him. Now they realize that their child is trying to tell them he is feeling anxious about being away from them at night. They understand that if they fulfil his needs now for the short term, they won’t turn into long-term unfulfilled needs that will leave him feeling insecure over the years. They also know that if they meet those needs without Alex continuously having to ask (or protest), his needs should diminish faster. Plus, everyone will be happier.
So the next night when Alex protests when Dad turns to leave the room, Dad sits on Alex’s bed and says “I don’t mind staying with you for a little while. You rest your eyes, and I’ll sit by the bed here for a few minutes.” Dad winds up spending the next three weeks lingering in Alex’s room or the nearby hallway at bedtime. Sometimes he folds laundry while waiting for Alex to fall asleep. He sits in the chair and uses a tiny clamp-on book light to read without turning on the overhead light. He doesn’t interact much with Alex, he’s just there. Sometimes he tells Alex that he needs to go in the other room, but he will be back to check on him in a few minutes. He putters around, making just enough noise for Alex to know he is close by. It is a very slow weaning process that, while time-consuming, really pays off in the long run. Eventually Alex returns to his former easy-to-sleep routine, and his parents get their evenings back.
Bedtime was always a drawn-out affair in our family. The routine took forty-five minutes to an hour, especially with my oldest son, who has always been very tuned in to what’s going on around him. Now, many years later, everybody goes to bed on their own. My three children are expert sleepers who rarely have trouble falling asleep at night. I’m the one who needs to stop at my kids’ bedroom doors to chat for a few minutes and connect with them before I can fall asleep.
the facts about infant sleep and what they mean for parents
The steps and tips on how to get your infant and toddler to sleep that we shared with you in the first two chapters of this book are based on general principles about how babies and toddlers sleep. When you know why babies do the things they do, it is easier to work out how to respond.
Learning more about how babies sleep and why they wake up during the night will help you understand the nighttime parenting strategies we suggest in this book. It will also help you bring a helpful attitude to caring for your baby’s nighttime needs.
learn the facts of infant sleep
Read all about it! We want you to understand why babies sleep the way they do – or don’t. First, here are some general facts about sleep.
How adults sleep. There are two main states of sleep – REM (rapid-eye-movement sleep) and non-REM. The term “falling” asleep is biologically correct. As you drift off to sleep, you enter non-REM sleep, and over the next hour and a half you descend through the levels of this sleep state until you are at level four, the deepest level of sleep. You may even sleep through a phone ringing, or here in California, through earthquakes. If you are awakened from this deepest level of non-REM sleep – say, by a persistently crying baby, you are more likely to be disoriented and grouchy than when you are awakened from lighter levels of sleep.
After the first 90 minutes of gradually descending into non-REM sleep, your brain begins to arouse and move into a lighter and more active kind of sleep, the state of REM sleep. During REM sleep the brain is quite active (it’s when you dream), although the rest of your body is usually relaxed and relatively quiet. You experience rapid eye movement even though your eyes are closed (hence the term REM sleep), and men can get erections. During REM sleep, facial muscles may twitch, producing “sleep grins”. It’s fun to watch for this in babies. Since this is the lightest stage of sleep, it is easiest to waken out of REM sleep.
Adults cycle through REM and non-REM sleep approximately every 90 minutes. Early in the night the periods of non-REM sleep may last as long as 60 minutes, and REM periods may last from 10 to 30 minutes. Toward morning the proportions of non-REM and REM reverse, so that much of early-morning sleep is REM. The length and pattern of these sleep cycles varies greatly between individuals and at different ages. However, during an average eight-hour sleep adults may spend two hours in REM, or active (light) sleep, and six hours in non-REM, or quiet (deep) sleep.
Both of these states of sleep are important for a person’s overall well-being. Non-REM, or deep sleep, is necessary to help the body rest and recuperate. It is known as the restorative state of sleep. REM sleep is necessary for brain development. Understanding these sleep cycles explains why human babies awaken so easily and why it may not be wise to fiddle around too much with babies’ natural sleep cycles.
How babies sleep. Why do babies wake up so much? This is probably the question new parents ask most. The simple answer: because they’re babies. Babies sleep differently from adults.
Babies go to sleep differently. Infants take longer (at least 20 minutes) to drift off and enter deep sleep. On the other hand, adults and older children “crash” into deep sleep, drifting into non-REM sleep in just a few minutes. The younger the infant, the longer it takes him to drift into deep sleep.
What does this sleep fact mean to parents? Babies awaken easily during this drifting off period. Parents don’t have to be sleep scientists to figure this out. Many parents describe their baby as “difficult-to-settle”, or they say “she has to be fully asleep before I can put her down”. Many parents have had the experience where they think their baby is asleep, so they gently carry her to her cot and lay her down – but she wakes up as soon as Mum or Dad turns to tiptoe out of the room. Baby is not truly asleep until he arrives in the state of deep sleep, 20 to 30 minutes after closing his eyes. Trying to hasten the bedtime routine can leave parents very frustrated.
You can see why the advice from sleep trainers to “put babies down in their cots awake” doesn’t work, especially for babies less than three months old. Babies need to be gentled through this first period of REM sleep, so that they can stay asleep until deeper sleep overtakes them. Between three and six months babies begin to drift more quickly into non-REM sleep. They can be put down awake, or partially awake, and they will enter deep sleep fairly quickly.
Bottom line: babies need to be patiently parented to sleep, not just put to sleep.
Babies stay asleep differently. While adults cycle from deep to light sleep approximately every hour and a half, infants move through these states every hour. The younger the infant, the shorter the sleep cycle. What does this mean for parents? When passing from one state of sleep to another, the brain is more likely to awaken than at other times. We call this the “vulnerable period”. If by chance an arousal stimulus (teething pain, loud noise, hunger, separation anxiety, and so on) bothers baby during this vulnerable СКАЧАТЬ