The Greatest Christmas Murder Mysteries & Thrillers. Джером К. Джером

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СКАЧАТЬ see everything without being himself seen. In a moment or two a whole troop of personages came gliding past him into the house. There were an elderly gentleman and lady, eight or nine young ladies, as many young men, besides half-a-dozen men-servants and maids. The mansion had apparently been quite emptied of its occupants.

      "Now, children and young people, we will resume our meal," said the old gentleman. "What the noise could have been I cannot understand. I never felt so certain in my life that there was a person being murdered outside my door."

      Then the ladies began saying how frightened they had been, and how they had expected an adventure, and how it had ended in nothing after all.

      "Wait a while," said Hubert to himself. "You'll have adventure enough by-and-by, ladies."

      It appeared that the young men and women were married sons and daughters of the old couple, who had come that day to spend Christmas with their parents.

      The door was then closed, Hubert being left outside in the porch.

      He thought this a proper moment for asking their assistance; and, since he was unable to knock with his hands, began boldly to kick the door.

      "Hullo! What disturbance are you making here?" said a footman who opened it; and, seizing Hubert by the shoulder, he pulled him into the dining-hall. "Here's a strange boy I have found making a noise in the porch, Sir Simon."

      Everybody turned.

      "Bring him forward," said Sir Simon, the old gentleman before mentioned. "What were you doing there, my boy?"

      "Why, his arms are tied!" said one of the ladies.

      "Poor fellow!" said another.

      Hubert at once began to explain that he had been waylaid on his journey home, robbed of his horse, and mercilessly left in this condition by the thieves.

      "Only to think of it!" exclaimed Sir Simon.

      "That's a likely story," said one of the gentleman-guests, incredulously.

      "Doubtful, hey?" asked Sir Simon.

      "Perhaps he's a robber himself," suggested a lady.

      "There is a curiously wild wicked look about him, certainly, now that I examine him closely," said the old mother.

      Hubert blushed with shame; and, instead of continuing his story, and relating that robbers were concealed in the house, he doggedly held his tongue, and half resolved to let them find out their danger for themselves.

      "Well, untie him," said Sir Simon. "Come, since it is Christmas Eve, we'll treat him well. Here, my lad; sit down in that empty seat at the bottom of the table, and make as good a meal as you can. When you have had your fill we will listen to more particulars of your story."

      The feast then proceeded; and Hubert, now at liberty, was not at all sorry to join in. The more they eat and drank the merrier did the company become; the wine flowed freely, the logs flared up the chimney, the ladies laughed at the gentlemen's stories; in short, all went as noisily and as happily as a Christmas gathering in old times possibly could do.

      Hubert, in spite of his hurt feelings at their doubts of his honesty, could not help being warmed both in mind and in body by the good cheer, the scene, and the example of hilarity set by his neighbours. At last he laughed as heartily at their stories and repartees as the old Baronet, Sir Simon, himself. When the meal was almost over one of the sons, who had drunk a little too much wine, after the manner of men in that century, said to Hubert, "Well, my boy, how are you? Can you take a pinch of snuff?" He held out one of the snuff-boxes which were then becoming common among young and old throughout the country.

      "Thank you," said Hubert, accepting a pinch.

      "Tell the ladies who you are, what you are made of, and what you can do," the young man continued, slapping Hubert upon the shoulder.

      "Certainly," said our hero, drawing himself up, and thinking it best to put a bold face on the matter. "I am a travelling magician."

      "Indeed!"

      "What shall we hear next?"

      "Can you call up spirits from the vasty deep, young wizard?"

      "I can conjure up a tempest in a cupboard," Hubert replied.

      "Ha--ha!" said the old Baronet, pleasantly rubbing his hands. "We must see this performance. Girls, don't go away: here's something to be seen."

      "Not dangerous, I hope?" said the old lady.

      Hubert rose from the table. "Hand me your snuff-box, please," he said to the young man who had made free with him. "And now," he continued, "without the least noise, follow me. If any of you speak it will break the spell."

      They promised obedience. He entered the corridor, and, taking off his shoes, went on tiptoe to the closet door, the guests advancing in a silent group at a little distance behind him. Hubert next placed a stool in front of the door, and, by standing upon it, was tall enough to reach to the top. He then, just as noiselessly, poured all the snuff from the box along the upper edge of the door, and, with a few short puffs of breath, blew the snuff through the chink into the interior of the closet. He held up his finger to the assembly, that they might be silent.

      "Dear me, what's that?" said the old lady, after a minute or two had elapsed.

      A suppressed sneeze had come from inside the closet.

      Hubert held up his finger again.

      "How very singular," whispered Sir Simon. "This is most interesting."

      Hubert took advantage of the moment to gently slide the bolt of the closet door into its place. "More snuff," he said, calmly.

      "More snuff," said Sir Simon. Two or three gentlemen passed their boxes, and the contents were blown in at the top of the closet. Another sneeze, not quite so well suppressed as the first, was heard: then another, which seemed to say that it would not be suppressed under any circumstances whatever at length there arose a perfect storm of sneezes.

      "Excellent, excellent for one so young!" said Sir Simon. "I am much interested in this trick of throwing the voice--called, I believe, ventriloquism."

      "More snuff," said Hubert

      "More snuff," said Sir Simon. Sir Simon's man brought a large jar of the best scented Scotch.

      Hubert once more charged the upper chink of the closet, and blew the snuff into the interior, as before. Again he charged, and again, emptying the whole contents of the jar. The tumult of sneezes became really extraordinary to listen to--there was no cessation. It was like wind, rain, and sea battling in a hurricane.

      "I believe there are men inside, and that it is no trick at all!" exclaimed Sir Simon, the truth flashing on him.

      "There are," said Hubert. "They are come to rob the house; and they are the same who stole my horse."

      The sneezes changed to spasmodic groans. One of the thieves, hearing Hubert's voice, cried, "Oh! mercy! mercy! let us out of this!"

      "Where's my horse? said Hubert.

      "Tied to the СКАЧАТЬ